Step-planDisney: Coconut allergies at WDW
Uncle Walt's Insider
by X
2M ago
Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Are there any drupe/coconut producing trees at Walt Disney World? I’ve seen multiple palms in bloom, but do not know what species are there.” – Rosalee M. M., Arkansas Walt: Hi Peggy. Thanks for asking. You can find coconut-flavored Dole Whips in the Magic Kingdom. They do not grow the coconuts on WDW prop ..read more
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Tips for the best eclipse viewing at Walt Disney World
Uncle Walt's Insider
by X
2M ago
How long has this story been in our queue? KING CHARLES III IMPROVEMENT DISTRICT, FLORIDA — People across North America are excited about the eclipse that will be happening on Monday, April 8th. [Ed.: “Will be”?] Although the “cone of totality” comes nowhere near Florida, we have good news for people who will be vacationing at Walt Disney World. You’ll still be able to see an eclipse. That’s right! Galactic Recording artist Sonny Eclipse has announced a new residency at Walt Disney World. The artist, most famous for his hit song “Gravity Blues,” hails from the planet Zork, and will be per ..read more
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Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately
Uncle Walt's Insider
by X
4M ago
Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn’t even notice? UNCLE WALT’S H.Q., SVALBARD – Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think “Wait, does the site still exist?” Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here’s some reasons we haven’t been publishing lately: Bob Chapek was our insider. It’s hard to provide inside knowledge when you’re on th ..read more
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Disney hires Pepsi CFO; menu changes coming soon?
Uncle Walt's Insider
by X
9M ago
Will Disney replace the current overpriced sugar water with worse overpriced sugar water? BURBANK, CA — In a recent corporate shuffle, the Walt Disney Company welcomed Hugh Johnston, the former CFO of PepsiCo, as their new Chief Financial Officer. While the financial world buzzes with this significant appointment, whispers suggest that there might be a subtle yet significant change brewing within Disney’s iconic parks. The relationship between Disney and Coca-Cola has been as enduring as a timeless fairy tale, interwoven in the fabric of every visit to the magical realm. But behind the scenes ..read more
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Country Bear escapes, terrorizes Magic Kingdom guests
Uncle Walt's Insider
by Marty
11M ago
The Jamboree will be closed for the near future as the bear restraints are inspected and upgraded. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Magic Kingdom’s beloved Country Bear Jamboree will be closed after one of the bears got loose, frightening guests and causing much of the park to close for several hours on Monday. The Jamboree, a musical revue featuring singing and instrument-playing by live bears (and which recently added an adults-only nighttime show), has often come under criticism. Animal rights activists protest the use of live animals in entertainment; family groups have objected to the adult th ..read more
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Step-planDisney: Our opinion on the coming Oklahoma theme park
Uncle Walt's Insider
by Marty
1y ago
Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: What do you think of the new theme park coming to Oklahoma?” – Chris T., Disney OK Marty: Dear Crisp, thank you for writing. It’s good that you have a job where your official duties are so miniscule that they give you time to read theme park news websites and write to them. There are a lot of unknowns abou ..read more
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Disneyland Escanaba sold to investors, moving to Oklahoma
Uncle Walt's Insider
by Marty
1y ago
Fire sale at the Disney Company! VINITA, OK — Sources say Disney CEO Bob ‘Bob‘ Iger, eager to raise capital for the struggling entertainment company, is quietly selling off pieces of the company. Money-losing parts of the company such as ABC, Freeform, FX, and Kathleen Kennedy are up for sale. And the latest piece of the company to go? Michigan’s Disneyland Escanaba. Goodbye Yoopers The park, located (some say) in the Upper Peninsula of the state of Michigan, is most famous for three things: (1) crashing Disney’s servers when we broke the story in 2018; (2) being the only Disney park other tha ..read more
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One EASY way to pack light for Walt Disney World!
Uncle Walt's Insider
by Marty
1y ago
Seriously, this is the best advice ever. UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — There have been many articles and videos on packing lists and methods for going to a Disney Park, but we at Uncle Walt’s Insider have discover the best tip for packing light. Are you ready? Helium. You’re welcome. Do you think Mickey’s been doing this for decades, and that’s why he talks like that? Let us know in the comments below! Need more Uncle Walt’s in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know! Cover photo: Balloons are optional. Photo courtesy Pixabay. The pos ..read more
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Is Disney tracking guests via “NSA” desserts?
Uncle Walt's Insider
by X
1y ago
The intelligence community is really into sugar-free cooking, apparently. CASTAWAY CAY, BAHAMAS — Picture yourself aboard the magnificent Disney Fantasy cruise ship, where dreams come true, enchantment knows no bounds, and your bank account never recovers. Amidst the grandeur and wonder, an unexpected twist unfolds – you spy [Heh] a mysterious dessert labeled “NSA Apple Turnovers” in Cabana’s buffet. What gives? While Disney insists that “NSA” stands for “No Sugar Added,” rumors abound that this sweet dessert reveals a secret alliance with the US National Security Agency. Just because you’re p ..read more
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Top new uses for Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser
Uncle Walt's Insider
by Marty
1y ago
Disney’s hyperexpensive hyperspace hotel shuts down! Who could have seen that coming? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL – It was a bold vision, even for Disney: create a Star Wars multiday experience so real, so immersive, that nerds worldwide would empty their bank accounts, drain their 401K’s, and decide their kids didn’t really need to go to college after all. It was Disney’s Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, a landlocked Florida hotel themed as an instellar cruise ship, complete with cruise ship prices. And just a year after it opened, Disney will be sending it to the interstellar scrap yard, after its ..read more
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