The start of every new year brings hopes for a better year. This year, the hope is extra high after the pain and turmoil from the infamous year of 2020. From the pandemic to economic uncertainty, most of us stumbled a bit. Maybe you picked up an unhealthy habit or let go of positive practices. The new year is a great time to rethink and reflect on what you want to be different in the coming year.  Start your new year off right with these simple strategies:  Identify the good from the year before. When gratitude fills your mind and heart, you begin to experience a shift in the way y ..read more

The Power of Your Words Judgment, a harsh tone, criticism, sarcasm, name-calling, and derogatory language. These are some common pitfalls of communication. In times of conflict, you may find yourself cursing, name-calling, or blaming your partner. You may be trying to gain power in the conflict, asserting yourself in order to be heard, or attacking because you feel attacked.  Scripture tells us that our words have the power to bring life or death. The words you speak not only influence the health of your marriage but also your physical health. Speaking words of death (this is what critici ..read more

Have you ever felt completely misunderstood? I once had a boss that told me I was too ambitious and intimidating. He told me, “I know you’re just coming in here trying to freak people out, and that’s not how we do things.” Woah.  What he said shocked me because that wasn’t my intention at all. But what this moment taught me was the power of understanding ourselves and others. In marriage, being misunderstood or misunderstanding your spouse is one of the biggest problems we face. It’s often rooted in pride, which then keeps us from experiencing growth. If you and I don’t ever learn how to ..read more

Is this killing your relationship?  Nothing kills a relationship faster than unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations cause division in a relationship and with time, division results in the death of a relationship. Over time and after a lot of hurt feelings, I realized that I was squashing my spouse’s confidence by demanding and expecting certain things. The big thing I was expecting was that he would make me happy.  This expectation is unrealistic because my husband cannot control my emotions. That’s up to me. But time and again, I would be left frustrated and disappointed ..read more

I don’t know what your marriage is like. I don’t know the hurts and disappointments that you’ve faced. But I do know this— you have a choice in how you are going to respond to those challenges. Most of the couples  I work with in my counseling practice are wanting and needing the same thing as their spouse. Both feel the same way: disrespected, unloved, and ignored. The way each experiences these is usually different, but as I unpack the pain and hurt, I typically find that both partners are fundamentally wanting, needing, and hurting in almost the exact same way. If your partner is hurti ..read more

September is Suicide Awareness Month.  Around the globe, someone ends their life every 40 seconds.  Let that sink in.  As a counselor, I’ve often listened to my clients talk about ending their own lives. This takes so much courage! I’m always honored and grateful when my clients bravely talk about their thoughts, even and especially the dark ones.  Kids and teens are more likely to think about and commit suicide: one in five adolescents contemplate suicide each day. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people from 10-24.  What many people don’t know i ..read more

Is my child okay? Are they on screens too much? What will this school year look like in the midst of a pandemic? Like many other parents, these are questions I’ve been asking as a parent.I’m also hearing these questions in my counseling practice. Join me and my friend and colleague Michelle Nietert as we continue the discussion on kids, back to school, and resiliency. Michelle shares the powerful lessons she's been learning during quarantine, both clinically and professionally. We also chat about: How parents can help their kids navigate the current culture. The warning signs parents can b ..read more

The amazing Lynn Cowell joins me today. Lynn Cowell is a member of the Proverbs 31 speaker and writer teams. Lynn passionately writes for women of all ages. Her book for young girls, Brave Beauty, Finding the Fearless You has empowered over 20,000 girls to overcome confidence-defeating thoughts and stand on who Jesus says she is.  Lynn dives even deeper today and talks about the struggles children and teens are experiencing each day. She bravely shares her parenting mistakes and missteps with the hope of imparting hope and wisdom to help other parents.  We also talk about: -The curre ..read more

Morning snuggles with my children are such a treat. I adore getting to spend a few minutes simply being still with the kids before the rush of the day begins. On this particular morning, it was just Averie and I. After the morning haziness passed, Averie started planning her birthday party. The party she has been planning since the moment she left her last party. She was going over the guest list when suddenly, she burst into tears. Through the sobs, she told me she felt rejected by a friend. Averie had felt ignored during their last playdate, and now she believed they were no longer friends ..read more

We’ve all heard the analogy of how a butterfly transforms from a caterpillar. The goal is to bring hope to the person struggling: “One day, I’ll be the butterfly.” We think about the wings, the beauty, the freedom. And it’s true that we are all experiencing the process of transformation. But talking about becoming a butterfly often skips over the “becoming” part of the process.  Have you ever seen a butterfly emerge from its cocoon? It’s a struggle. The process takes about 12 hours. This may not seem long, but given a butterfly’s lifespan of two weeks, 12 hours is a significant amount of ..read more