In this episode, I discuss the importance of being present and engaged with our children. I share a heartwarming experience I had on a recent flight, where I observed a father fully engaged with his young son for the entire 2.5-hour journey. This interaction exemplified the essence of play therapy parenting - being attuned, present, and engaged. I offer practical tips for improving presence, including maintaining eye contact, using reflective responses, and trying to experience the world through our children's eyes. Throughout the episode, I stress that building a strong relationship with our ..read more

In this episode, I address a question from Emma in Ireland about her 4-year-old son's toileting issues. Despite being toilet trained for over a year, he frequently has accidents, especially during changes in routine or when other people are caring for him. I explain that this behavior is likely rooted in power and control issues, as children have control over very few aspects of their lives. I discuss the concept of "somatic" responses, where emotional issues manifest physically, and how positive emotions can help overcome these challenges. I provide practical advice on using a child's "curren ..read more

In this episode, I discuss the topic of power struggles between parents and children. I explain why these struggles occur, provide a framework for handling them, and offer practical advice rooted in child-centered play therapy principles. I emphasize the importance of understanding the "why" behind power struggles. Children often seek control because they have little of it in their daily lives. By recognizing this, parents can approach these situations with more empathy and effectiveness. I introduce a framework using three of the four pillars we've discussed in previous episodes: reflecting f ..read more

In this episode, I discuss a practice from the child-centered play therapy model: sitting in the pocket of your child's feelings. As parents, we often struggle to relate to our children's intense emotions because we have the luxury of rational thinking. However, children live in their emotions to a degree that's hard for us to comprehend. I explain why it's important to reflect your child's feelings without dismissing or trying to fix them. By simply acknowledging their emotions and sitting with them in that feeling, we help our children feel heard and understood. This approach, while challeng ..read more

In this episode, I answer a question from Gaer in the UK about her two adopted sons, ages 3 and 9, who are both starting play therapy to help with anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Gaer's youngest in particular has been acting out physically when upset.  I explain that it's common for siblings, especially of the same sex, to take on "internalizer" and "externalizer" roles when it comes to expressing emotions. The older son is likely internalizing his feelings while the younger is externalizing through aggressive behaviors. Neither is healthy, as both boys lack the emotional vocabulary ..read more

In this episode, I talk about how the relationship with your child is the most important thing, even more important than the specific parenting skills and techniques we've been discussing. While learning and applying skills like reflecting feelings, setting limits, giving choices, and using encouragement are certainly valuable, we can't lose sight of why we use those approaches in the first place.  It all comes back to preserving and strengthening our relationship with our kids. Every time a child is struggling or misbehaving, there is almost always a fracture or damage to the relationshi ..read more

In today's episode, I discuss the importance of encouragement and how it differs from praise when it comes to parenting. Encouragement is all about focusing on your child's efforts and contributions, rather than giving value-laden words that have opposites, like "good" or "awesome." When you encourage your child by starting with "you" and acknowledging their perseverance, problem-solving skills, or willingness to take on challenges, you help them develop a healthy self-concept and sense of identity. This empowers them and reduces power struggles, as they feel a measure of control over their ci ..read more

In this episode, I address a listener's question about gentle parenting and whether it has gone too far. I discuss the principles of gentle parenting and contrast them with the child-centered approach, highlighting the importance of setting appropriate limits and boundaries while maintaining a kind, respectful, and relational dynamic with your child. I explain that while gentle parenting aims to build a healthy bond and meet a child's needs, it often lacks a comprehensive framework for effective discipline. The child-centered approach, on the other hand, is highlighted by a well-researched fra ..read more

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the practical application of the "limit setting" pillar in daily parenting. Now that we’ve covered the four foundational pillars, it’s time to see how we can apply these skills in everyday interactions with our kids. Limit setting is unique in that it combines the other pillars—reflecting feelings and giving choices—making it a nuanced yet powerful tool for effective discipline. I explore how limit setting can be used proactively to address daily struggles, such as managing snack times, bedtime routines, or sibling con ..read more

In this episode, I discuss how to practically apply the "choice-giving" pillar from the child-centered play therapy parenting framework. I cover two types of choices to give your kids: Empowerment Choices Give your kids choices just for the sake of letting them feel empowered and in control Examples: Let them choose how to get to the car (hold your hand or push the cart), what to eat/drink, what to wear, where to sit in the car, what music to listen to, etc. This gives your kids a measure of control within your set boundaries Enforcement Choices Give choices tied to reinforcing a limit you ..read more