In this third and final episode from our Conference Special, podcast host Serena Gay talks to childhood abuse survivor Rosie Jefferies about breaking the circle of abuse to become a good parent. Rosie is also the Managing Director of the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) and spoke most movingly at the conference with colleague Sarah Dillon  about their personal surivival stories during the National Conference day in Solihull. A key element to success not just for abuse survivors but also for their foster and adoptive parents is essential self care. And during the Conf ..read more

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference focused on a huge variety of issues that challenge parents and social workers nationwide. Everyone had a chance to explore solutions for their own personal difficulties and challenges and in this episode, we focus on the schools discussions and on the dilemmas faced by Kinship Carers and Special Guardians.  In this edition, Serena Gay talks to Daniel Thrower, CEO of the Wensum Trust and to Sair Penna , Director of Wickselm House.  In the second part of the podcast, she talks to the COECT's Jane Mitchell and to Kins ..read more

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference attracted parents and professionals from around the country. It was an emotional day. Well, it would be wouldn't it because so much to do with fostering and adopting children from trauma involves raw emotion. Billed as "your roadmap of strategies through to sanity", reflected  the difficulties that come with parenting traumatised children as well as the need for self-care to build the resilience required to keep going. In this edition, Serena Gay talks to the COECT's Sarah Naish and Sarah Dillon who opened the conferen ..read more

In this last episode of Series 2,  expert Sarah Dillon explains how and why trauma has such a profound and negative effect on the relationship children have with food.  Their behaviours with it might include: hoarding  stealing  hiding  eating all the time  refusing food  only eating certain types of food  gorging on sugar or sugar products All of these have a perfectly good explanation which reflect the upsetting experiences of a child's early years. Not only are all these behaviours typical of a child who has undergone abuse and neglect,  but ..read more

When small children display signs of sexualised behaviour, foster and adoptive parents find it repugnant. As NATP expert Jane Mitchell explains, they are rightly furious with those responsible for the abuse their child must have suffered in an earlier existence. In this episode, Jane sets out an array of simple but effective  strategies that help to reset a child's understanding of what is appropriate behaviour between children and adults.  But she advises learning to differentiate between what is normal childhood curiousity and what is clearly entirely improper knowledge. If it ..read more

In this episode, Sarah Dillon tells us why traumatized children run away or abscond from loving and caring foster and adoptive families.  She understands this problem in depth both as a professional and because she was once a runner herself.  Sarah tells us children run away for fear-based reasons which do not reflect badly on their foster or adoptive parents. They may not seriously intend staying away but it is likely that they are trying to make sense of unprocessed trauma. Her advice is not to make a big deal out of it no matter how anguished you may feel. You need to help them f ..read more

A child in a state of dissociation can be a strange and disturbing thing to witness. In this week's edition, Jessica Jackson - whose own small son has a tendency to dissociate - talks us through why this happens and above all, what to do when it does. Dissociating can best be described as mentally leaving the room. If you are parenting a traumatized child you may be aware that they seem to go into a trance and be completely unaware of what is happening around them. This could well be a repeat of the survival mechanism that served them well during times of extreme stress before they joined ..read more

Your first reaction to the sight of your child smeared in its own poo could well be shock and revulsion. But understanding why they do strange things with their faeces or when they urinate on the carpet is key to finding a solution. You might be surprised to learn that this is one of the issues most asked-about on our Facebook page. This episode's guest, Sarah Dillon, the COECT's Therapeutic Lead, has helped many parents and children overcome wee and poo issues using therapeutic parenting-inspired strategies. As she tells us, such problems can seriously interfere with how children attach to ..read more

Little else could be more destructive to a family unit than a child who is violent and aggressive towards their adoptive or foster parents. In this week's episode,  our expert guest, Jane Mitchell,  tells us that children can show superhuman strength when their fears are adrenaline-fuelled. The result can be harm to the parents and costly damage to the family home. As Jane explains, this behaviour is a symptom of the child's sense of overwhelm triggered by traumatic memories. They're not conscious of what they're doing and parents need to put into place careful plans and strategie ..read more

This week COECT's CEO Sarah Naish talks from personal experience about the strain placed on a relationship when a couple adopts or fosters traumatized children. Parents can quickly experience isolation within the relationship itself. This is especially the case if one becomes the main carer and the other is not around enough to witness the difficulties that arise. About 1 in 3 relationships fail in such families unless help is sought. As Sarah says, raising traumatized children can test relationships to the limit but she presents three effective strategies to combat the problem. COECT also ..read more