Several people have been very concerned about a problematic 60-second TikTok video from Focus on the Family (2/10/2024) that appeared to teach that single mothers have serious brain trauma The TikTok suggests that: 1) That single mothers have brain trauma and cannot think, and apparently it’s so serious they need to have their brain “triggered” to get out of it; 2) That children are traumatized by the divorce itself (not by the toxic situation in the home before the divorce); and 3) That children of divorce have frequent school behavior problems (which they don't, on average).   Here's t ..read more

 Debunking the Myth: Are Children of Single Mothers Who Remarry "40 times more likely" to be Abused?   Introduction:   In the vast and often bewildering landscape of social media, it's not uncommon to stumble upon posts that spark heated discussions and perpetuate alarming misconceptions. One such recurring claim that continues to circulate is the assertion that children of single mothers who are dating are a staggering “40 times more likely” to fall victim to child abuse.   These posts portray a disturbing narrative of mothers who are seemingly careless and neglectful, e ..read more

Did Forbes Really Say "Lack Of Commitment" Is the Top Reason For Divorce? Recently I saw the graph “Top Reasons for Divorce” on the Forbes Advisor website, and my heart sank.   Let me be honest, this is the kind of headline that people use to stigmatize divorcees, and I'm just so tired of it.   I explain over and over that we conservative Christians (and other people of conservative faiths) tried harder to save our marriages than most normal people and that most of us divorced for serious reasons, for life-saving reasons, not because we just couldn't go the distance like everyone el ..read more

Yes, Dr. Gary Chapman, Divorce CAN Lead to Personal Happiness   Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, advises against divorce, even in abusive marriages, according to a post by Pam Woody on the Focus on the Family website. In his book Hope for the Separated, Chapman states that divorce will never lead to personal happiness.   But is he correct?   As people of faith, we believe in the sanctity of marriage. We believe that God meant marriage to be loving, faithful, undefiled, and lifelong. We don't approve of immature or selfish divorces. We counsel against people ..read more

Is Jordan Peterson Right about Women and Divorce? This week's question comes from a woman in my co-ed online divorce recovery group, the Life-Saving Divorce, made up of people who needed a life-saving divorce to escape a destructive marriage.  So if you are new to my blog, be aware that most people in my group are religious conservatives who were brought up to value marriage, but found themselves in such destructive situations they had to leave to save their lives and sanity, even if they risked being stigmatized by their churches and friends. This week's question: "Is Jordan Peterson c ..read more

Do women file 70-80% of divorces in the U.S.? It's probably not quite as high as 70%, but it's close. According to Stanford professor Dr. Michael Rosenfeld's 2017 study, about 2-in-3 divorces or 66% to 69% percent of U.S. divorces are wanted by the wife. The same is true in Europe and Australia. When you look closely at the factors, it's no wonder that women initiate divorce proceedings more frequently than men. But those who seek to shame women often use this statistic as some sort of "gotcha" moment. It’s not. Divorce is complex and it involves many factors.   This old adage has a kern ..read more

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STEVEN CROWDER, ABUSE & NO-FAULT DIVORCE This week, many people have talked to me about Steven Crowder’s (political/social influencer) alleged abuse situation and his view of no-fault divorce. His wife Hilary's family has released a video (link) purporting to show his behavior toward his wife when she was pregnant, suggesting that his entitled attitudes had been part of their marriage for a long time.  Conservative media host and commentator Steven Crowder can be seen on a Ring Camera video berating his wife Hilary, who was at the time nearly eight months pregnant, and demanding t ..read more

Them Before Us: The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY Side of this Book by Katy Faust and Stacy Manning   I really wanted to like this book by this Baptist pastor’s wife, Katy Faust and her friend, writer Stacy Manning. The title is fantastic. “Them Before Us” is a great motto and it sounds so promising. Parents and society in general should put children first. The slogan is fantastic. But, sadly, that’s not what Katy Faust is really saying. What she’s saying is profoundly disturbing: That only married biological parents are fit to bring up children. The goal of this book is to convince you t ..read more

Question of the Day from a Divorced Mother of Young Children with Shared Custody: “Is there a preferred phone, app, or texting application that you have given your young child so that they can reach out via call or text to the “off duty” parent when away? My daughter is 6 and while she isn’t old enough to have a phone yet, I do want her to have a way to reach out to me if she needs to without having to use her dad’s phone.” . This question was asked in my private “Life-Saving Divorce” group on Facebook. Here are answers from real parents who have found a solution. (Their answers have been ano ..read more