Before I jump in, I want to be VERY clear, when I use the term ‘codependent’ there's no shame, judgment, or blame behind it. The term is often misused and thrown out as shade. As I hope you know by now, I don't do judgment, blaming, and shaming. OKAY, SO REALLY, WHAT IS CODEPENDENCY? The simplest way to describe codependency is when a person (Partner A) manipulates the actions or environment of a loved one (Partner B) in order to increase the likelihood Partner B will be pleasant to be around. This is an indirect way for Partner A to ensure calmness for herself...because her feelings basicall ..read more

Why do they do..? What can I do to make them see..? Did they really just do that? What are they thinking?! It’s normal to have a ton of questions about Narcissists - especially if you’ve been in a relationship with one. If you are a person who has empathy, emotional intelligence, and takes responsibility for their actions, chances are, you won’t really be able to understand the Narcissist in your life. They operate differently than you do - PERIOD. This is a good thing because it means you are not a Narcissist (whew!) - but it is also a difficult thing to understand and navigate. Sneaking a p ..read more

The beginning signs were subtle. You may have noticed they had a hard time taking criticism... well anything you said that they perceived as criticism. They craved only adoration and praise but could never compliment you unless it was in the context of ‘how special we are together.’ As the relationship progressed they required more and more energy around their needs, wants, and feelings. Your experiences and emotions became increasingly belittled, minimized, or not acknowledged at all. When you tried to confront them about how you felt it never ended well. You were probably convinced to distru ..read more

So we know what Narcissist traits in a partner can look like (click here). We’ve mapped out the experiences you may have come across when a Narcissistic partner is triggered (take cover!) (click here). Last but not least, we want to go over some possible game plans if you can’t avoid interacting with an ex-partner, current family member, etc. who is a Narcissist. Keep it short and sweet. Get in. Convey only what you need to convey. Get out. Keep your boundaries TIGHT. Only communicate what’s absolutely necessary, acknowledge when acknowledgment is due, and leave everything else -your pent up ..read more

Who is the one person who has been with you through thick and thin? Who has been there to wipe your tears and show you your inner strength? Who deserves all the good things the world has to offer because she’s so damn awesome?!? It’s YOU! You are enough and worthy just as you are. Whether you are in a relationship with another person right now or not, we hope you will ALWAYS give time and attention to the one person you owe it to the most...YOURSELF! Let’s get into our 5 hottest tips for dating yourself. Create Something! Express yourself through any creative means necessary. Maybe it's da ..read more

Loneliness is hard! But being alone doesn't have to be. Fears and feelings surrounding loneliness are common reasons good people end up in shitty relationships. Here are our 6 best tips for coping with loneliness. Schedule regular social time with friends. It could be Zoom dates with people across the country or actual in-person meet-ups. Seeing supportive people who make you smile on the regular helps you remember that you're not actually alone. Aim for one social gathering per week and a few social connections via messaging per day. Take note of what you’re bringing to the party. If you’re ..read more

Nothing pulls at my heartstrings like hearing someone say that emotional abuse ‘doesn’t count' or ‘it wasn’t that bad compared to others because I didn’t get hit.' The ONE thing I have heard repeatedly from survivors, including survivors of physical abuse, is this... Physical pain and bruises heal, but the emotional abuse lingers. When someone is experiencing abuse, it's easy to discount the experience of ‘just’ emotional abuse (to be clear, there’s no such thing as ‘just’ of any type of abuse). It makes tolerating what you're going through maybe a little easier to survive when you're in it ..read more

Have interactions with a new love interest not been sitting right with you? Want to educate yourself on abuse warning signs before getting in too deep in a relationship? Here are the Red Flags you should not ignore in any relationship! Trigger warning. Some of this content may be emotional to read. Take your time or seek support from a therapist or local domestic violence agency if needed. You are their only source of joy/center of their world. They have very few or no friends, isolate themselves from their family, criticize everything, and hate their jobs. How can you have a life if your pa ..read more

Trauma Bond - an intense, emotional attachment in an abusive relationship that is created when the experiences of fear, excitement, and sex are misused to strengthen the bond and ensnare the abuse victim further into the quagmire of the cycle of violence. The trauma bond is the intangible answer to the question, “why doesn’t she just leave?’ Just like the hurricane-level winds: hard to see but the devastation and destruction they cause is real. Anyone who has ever experienced a trauma bond knows just how difficult it is to break free and move on. At first, it seems impossible. Eventually, it ..read more

*This post originally appeared in June 2020 in the ,See the Triumph blog. If we know one thing, it’s that you, as a survivor of intimate partner violence, are not defined by your past. Does it color your story? 100% - because we also know that past abuse can have a large impact on how survivors experience intimacy, relationships, and trust. Sliding into a brand new relationship with a kind, genuine, no-red-flags-here new partner can still feel….sticky. And one of the trickiest things can be to determine when, how, and how much to tell a new beau about your past. There is a natural progression ..read more