A huge tenet of Positive Discipline is building & nurturing the relationship between you and the child(ren) you care for.  We call this connection.  Some connection-building is instant and easy: you’ll end up bonding with just about any child in your circle, but if you find yourself in power struggles or asking “why aren’t they listening to me?” then it’s time to focus on building connection.  Faith Collins, who wrote “Joyful Toddlers and Preschoolers,” one of our favorite parenting books here at Sproutable, says that, “Most of the time, when children say no to us, what t ..read more

Something we’re always coming back to in Positive Discipline are the long-term goals and the traits we hope to see in the kiddos we care for once they reach adulthood.  One life skill that I choose to focus on is being flexible.  I’m not always the most flexible person in the room, and on occasion, I can miss out on something fun because I wasn’t being flexible enough.  The good news for me, though, is that working with children gives me lots of opportunities to model, practice, and grow my own flexibility muscles.  Since I know flexibility is a life skill that’s importan ..read more

I went down a slide last week and ended up having a huge realization that I haven’t stopped thinking about since.  I was with my two nanny kiddos at a trampoline park, and we were having a total blast.  Unlike me, they’re both natural athletes and love being at the trampoline park.  I was following them, watching them do all kinds of crazy flips & jumps, and snapping pics to send to their parents when they started asking me if I wanted to go down the big slide. I wasn’t sure what to think, but I figured why not?  I try to say yes as often as I can, and I like to model ..read more

One of my all-time favorite Positive Discipline books is “Positive Discipline Parenting Tools” which Dr. Jane Nelsen wrote with two of her adult children, Mary Tamborski & Brad Ainge.  This book breaks down each of the 49 unique tools that we use in Positive Discipline with stories & examples.  While this book is written with parents in mind, the content and all of the tools are relevant and applicable to nannies & other caregivers too.   Chapter 1 is called “The Basics,” and it includes some foundational Positive Discipline strategies. Here are some of my own ..read more

Something I see pop up occasionally in online nannying groups is concern & frustration over nanny kiddos telling lies.  I totally get it; nobody likes being lied to!  I see suggestions of taking things away, lecturing & punishing, forced apologies, and even trying to scare kids out of lying.  In fact, I remember being told “you’ll go to hell if you tell a lie” when I was a young child, and it was terrifying!   I’ll offer you a different solution: let it go. Elizaveta Dushechkina from unsplash Here’s why… It’s Normal  Get this: everybody lies.  We’ve ..read more

“That’s not fair” “You cheated!” “I never win!” Sound familiar?  Most kids have a tough time navigating games where there is a clear winner, or when they feel a sense of unfairness. This is because they are still learning! Getting comfortable with losing, being flexible with not going first or getting the color game piece they want, and having patience taking turns all takes LOTS of practice. It is still cognitively challenging for young children to see “fairness” because they are still growing into their capacity for perspective taking, which is why it is important to start now! Here ..read more

I’ve been soaking up everything I can about Positive Discipline for the last five years or so, and most of it has come fairly easily to me.  It takes patience, intention, consistency, and effort, but most of the tools and strategies have always “clicked” for me.  That being said, I am still, every day, working on moving from praise to encouragement with my nanny kids.  This has been so challenging for me!  I understand the “why” and the benefits, but it’s a way of speaking to children that I’m still very much practicing (and often failing at).  I come from a backgroun ..read more

In Positive Discipline, we always come back to what life skills you’d like to see the children you care for have when they are adults.  People often list that they’d like the children in their life to grow up to be problem-solvers, self-advocative, effective leaders, self-reliant, etc.  So, how do we, as nannies, support that?   Take Time for Training & Explicitly Teach Skills If we want our nanny charges to learn life skills, we start by explicitly teaching those skills.  Nobody just knows how to do laundry or scramble an egg – even basic life skills need to b ..read more

There was a time, maybe you remember this too, when we were taught to be friends with everybody. Being nice, getting along, and not creating conflict was rewarded with approval from the adults, and led to confusion for the kids. They knew it wasn’t that simple. There were kids that they just didn’t vibe with, kids who were really mean, and kids who they wanted desperately to be friends with but the friendship was unrequited. They were often stuck with the same cohort from preschool through middle school, with labels of “bully” or “best friend” being branded for life. Obviously, as we grow old ..read more

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