Over the course of my 4 years and 6 months of living with cancer, a lot of kind people have said to me: “So, if you don't mind me asking, what is it actually like having chemotherapy? Does it hurt? Do you feel very tired? Does it ache ? Do you bleed?" Well, the truth is as follows: yes, sometimes it hurts. I do not generally feel very tired. Does it ache - generally no, and do I bleed - yes, quite a lot more than I realise, although I am an easy bleeder. I don't mean that in a Cockney-sparrow, kind of classic Michael Caine/Bob Hoskins London gangster kind of way. No, what I mean is that over t ..read more

And so it came to pass, my dear chums, that yesterday I had my 82nd dose of chemotherapy and what a strange case it was. Basically, 4 weeks ago today I taught Karate at my Haybridge dojo in Worcestershire. It was fine as ever. I never had a finger laid upon me by your wonderful friends at Enso Shotokan. Basically, because they all know that my skin and bones are very vulnerable. Honestly, back in the day, Shihan Cyril Cummins, my Karate Sensei for 31 years would beat 7 bells out of me. And seriously, he was hardcore traditional Shotokan from the uber tough Japan Karate Association. I took thos ..read more

One of the benefits of being a rather sad, old, English gentleman like myself, is the fact that even though technology allows us to have everything at the tip of our fingers, I like to have a desk diary. To those of a certain age, they may not know what a desk diary actually is. It is a handy bit of kit that allows me to book appointments which is great. But even better, it allows me to remember things, so every day is different. When you think that there are 365 days of the year, unless you write stuff down, then you forget. But with this I do not, and actually, it is very useful, as Clint Ea ..read more

Forrest Gump famously said “Life is like a box of chocolates.” Now, I honestly have absolutely no idea what that means, but I always loved the film and the quote, and it all seemed strangely apt for my most recent medical adventure. Let me set the scene, my dear chums, if I may. It is Friday, 9th December, it is 07:30 in the morning on a bitterly cold day, and I have just arrived at the University Hospital in Coventry. I am due to have my port removed. Now, this is not a nautical reference. A port is basically a small round disc that was transplanted into my chest so that my chemotherapy treat ..read more

Now, I do not know about you my dear chum, but I never thought that I would experience a heart attack as part of my life and times. Maybe somewhat naively, I just assumed that if you're battling cancer, then your bad-luck-meter would discount something additionally unpleasant happening on the grounds that you already have quite enough to deal with, thank you very much. But, oh dear me, as usual, I got that assumption horribly wrong. So, let me set the scene if I may. One of the many medical challenges that this tough year has thrown up has been the added joy of two new blood clots. The first o ..read more

Gosh, my dear friends, life is an utterly strange roller coaster sometimes, is it not? Now, in truth as part of my Bag For Life blog, I have always taken the view that positivity in life with cancer, has been my only path. And 4 and and a half years later, I'm still here, and positive as ever. But today, if you don't mind, I am going to talk about love, and death, and they are so connected. Today I was so fortunate to be attending a celebration of a man who I loved very much, as a best friend in the chapter we shared, as young men. His name was Mark Wilkie, and he was one of those people who ..read more

When I first started writing these blogs back in late 2018, I had absolutely what was going to happen, or indeed what I was going to write about. I was so immersed in the day-to-day newness of it that I simply followed my absurd thoughts with no plan nor reason. I do know that I wanted to make people laugh or at least smile, but I also wanted to share the realities of it, each step of the way. It was never intended to trivialise it because we are talking about fighting a nasty, vindictive, cruel illness, that wants to end your life. Cancer does not do half measures, it does full on invasion an ..read more

So, my dear chums, this Wednesday saw the milestone achievement of chemotherapy treatment number 75. This has been a long process of evolution, with at different times different treatments for the cancers that needed sorting out. The thing is, when you have cancer and when you have beaten it twice, when it comes back each time, it is not the same as it was before, and requires individual strategies. This is where the expertise of the oncologist really comes to the stage, and I am indeed blessed to have a giant of a man in my corner. Doctor Peter Correa has looked after me brilliantly, and I am ..read more

When I was a young punk, living in Birmingham in 1977, I would regularly go to gigs in the city centre. Watching the likes of The Clash (who I saw live 23 times in total), at venues like Bingley Hall (now the home of the International Convention Centre ), or The Odeon in New Street. Not a week seemed to go by when I was out with my ripped up T-shirt, my leather jacket festooned with badges, and my hair suitably spiked. I did not know it then, but we were being spoilt rotten, as the bands touring the circuits were full of energy and anger in equal measure. Some bands were good, many were awful ..read more

So, today my dear chums was on reflection a landmark day, I do not know if achieving 70 doses of chemo is a lot, or a little, and if truth be told, I don’t even know if volume is important. It is not a competition, it is a slow gradual fight against death, and it is important not to pretend it is anything else. One thing that I have learned is that cancer is all consuming, it is out to get you. And even worse, it is your own body that acts as its agent, no foreign bodies are parachuted in, oh no, it uses what you already have. This is of course a type of biological anarchy and rebellion. But ..read more