In this podcast, we examine why the truth is so elusive for family members of alcoholics and addicts. We discuss how people who have an addict or alcoholic in the family: 1.   Deny the very existence of the disease. 2.   Become too ashamed to admit the truth to themselves. 3.   Ultimately need to confront the truth in order to heal ..read more

You’ve probably heard the term “enabler”. It’s one that’s often charged with judgment and stigma. That’s because one feels accused of aiding and abetting addictive behaviour and it doesn’t feel at all fair because you do what you do out of love. More than a role, enabling is a dynamic that arises in specific scenarios. People who engage in enabling behaviour behaviours aren’t the “bad guy”, but their actions have the potential to promote and support unhealthy behaviours in others. In many cases, enabling begins as an effort to support a loved one who may be having a hard time with life at the ..read more

Love has this wonderful ripple effect, emanating its warmth and power from you to your family and well beyond, and it seems miraculous in its infinite ability to heal. Think for a moment about unconditional love: loving someone regardless of what they look like, what they do for a living, how much money they have, or whether or not they are doing what you want or expect them to do. This kind of total love - the unconditional kind – is put to a severe test when it comes to loving someone who is a substance abuser. When you think about it, it’s almost impossible to invoke unconditional love wh ..read more

When you are talking to a full-blown alcoholic or addict or one who is both - and the list of cross-addicted people is growing – you might not be too surprised to learn that they speak an entirely different language than you do. An example: an addict is confronted by his mum who says that he has a big problem. The addict doesn’t hear that. He thinks to himself that his mum is the problem because she stands in the way of him getting more dope. When an addict or alcoholic does something that is reasonable, don’t get your hopes up. It’s more likely than not to be a coincidence, for every once i ..read more

A well-known actress, comedienne and TV producer was once asked what made the essential difference in her highly successful life. For those old enough to remember Lucille Ball, she answered as follows:  “All my young life, I was told I was a no-good show-off. My self-esteem hovered just above zero, until I was told by a good friend that my first job was to learn to love myself first and everything else would follow. I had to overcome the toxic shame that was imposed upon me by others and learn that I was a person who was lovable by others and above all, by me myself. I had to care for ..read more

It’s never too late to act, whether your loved one is now at the stage where an intervention is necessary, or you have a younger child who might fall prey to an addictive disorder and want to keep that kid safe. But you are not sure how. Shatterproof is an organisation 100% dedicated to preventing addiction, providing greater access to treatment, and educating the public and public officials on the nature of addiction. One of their initiatives is called “Building Youth Resiliency”. The purpose of the program is stated as: “Parents and communities can help young people develop the self-esteem ..read more

A friend said to me the other day that she feels like everything we do is becoming pathological. We eat a lot, so we’re a candidate for Overeaters Anonymous. We have sex with more than one person, we should join Sex Addicts Anonymous. We got drunk, so we should join AA. If I choose to call an addiction “repetitive behaviour that causes you and those affected by your behaviour major harm, and you can’t stop even when you want to”, then maybe you have an addiction. This was hardly a scientific definition, of course. Using it as an informal standard, think of the many things besides drugs and ..read more

There is still little understanding of the power of the substance fentanyl. Let’s start with some inconvenient facts. Drug overdoses claim more lives than breast cancer, gun violence or car accidents. Combined. They are the #1 cause of accidental death in the United States. According to the CDC, there were over 109,000 fatal overdoses in the 12-month period ending March 2022 (the latest data available). Overdose deaths were fuelled by the rapid increase in the availability and low cost of synthetic opioids, especially fentanyl. It’s now sprinkled into almost any illegal drug to give it a bi ..read more

Very recently, my ex-fiancé called me in a panic and sobbed that her son, my stepson really, was a raging addict and she didn’t know what to do. He and his wife have a two-year-old son who deserves better, while my stepson – let’s call him Jimmy – is snorting and smoking and injecting who knows what. He’s applied for a medical discharge due to joint disabilities, and it is apparent that he got addicted to pain killers coming out of his knee surgery. So, my ex wants me to “talk to him and get him to go and get some help”. You must be kidding. First, I’m 9,000 miles away and he is defiantly rej ..read more

It can happen at any time. The bell might ring, the alarm might sound, the light might flash any time of day or night. We might be half asleep or we might have our shoulder to the wheel, pushing with all our might. Awakenings happen all the time, to people all over this earth. For the purposes of this discussion, awakenings are of two types. The Dad says: “Oh my God, my son is an alcoholic.” Or the addict says: “I think I am powerless over drugs and alcohol and that my life has become unmanageable.” In either case, one hopes that upon awakening, the Dad or the addict will seek the help he ne ..read more