Honest work would see us die old in bed. Instead of that, we’re flashing to a different back, hearing of the Corpse Brigade Death Corps, teaming up with the cops to murder homeless veterans, randomly generating soldiers, getting on the roof, name-dropping our nobility, learning from the computer, droppin’ crystal, crafting a homely bar scene, reading lore, wondering who is writing history, dying in the middle of the room, treating the bastard like family, and witnessing Argath’s frisky animations. We’re definitely the bad guys. 00:00 Intro | 02:35 Gariland Military Academy | 11:20 Gariland Bat ..read more

Join me in my search to uncover the answer. This quest for truth includes actions like turning our consoles on, engraving vanishing memories, attracting mode, skipping a tutorial, defeating the war, yearning to be known as a blaspheming anarchist, aspiring to just be a guy, riding birds through war torn country, nailing Jesus to something else, pressuring Ovelia to leave church, being rude to nobles, ridding oneself of vulgar knaves, slaughtering our enemies, slugging a lady in the stomach, and wondering if this Delita guy is an a-hole. Blame yourself, or god. 00:00 Intro | 03:33 Power On | 14 ..read more

Hello! And welcome to the sixth season of Retrograde Amnesia, where we’re covering the original release of Final Fantasy Tactics and The War of the Lions. In the opening, information-loaded episode, we’re determining who is playing which version, ignoring Tactics Advance, pronouncing “Ivalice,” buying the mobile version, leaving Quest en masse, framing Tactics as another attempt at an Ogre, adding a sense of swashbuckling heroism, valuing 60fps, calling Matsuno for help, canceling a sequel, listening to commercials, reading old game magazines, applying elite hacks, hot-seating a past playthrou ..read more

Kindness is something I don’t want or need. In the final episode for season five, we’re doing all this for Rubedo’s sake, simultaneously blaming Rubedo for everyone's sake, installing Sonic Adventure’s Chaos as the final boss, tormenting for fun, consulting Brady, detaching subcompartments in one whole minute, worrying Chaos, denying Ziggy his need to kill himself, justifying an incomplete arc, setting a Christ Denial Record, deploying Joanne twice, seeing with our heart, gender bending The Creation of Adam, finding chaos alone, relinquishing pain unto robot, performing a silent shout, playing ..read more

I’d accompany you to the very depths of hell. That task includes making sure we have company approval, wondering if Junior or KOSMOS is a bigger liability, god blessing the dungeon music, shifting bridges to solve a puzzle, celebrating the voiceless cut-scene, observing a hologram, locating satan, prototyping Dora, relieving goods, blacking out Lost Jerusalem, growing arms out of a head, refusing parent-child abomination transfers, engaging in a classic elevator battle, and revealing the power of will (purple shit with a face on it). Ziggy is a computer, but he can’t use one. 00:00 Intro | 03 ..read more

You know what awaits you if you are defeated in a gunfight, boy? Consequences include detailing the Dumb Virtual On, coming to terms with CCG’s, checking in with some folks one last time, nabbing the final robot part, drinking to cope, realizing friendship is the key to building the Erde Kaiser, maturing into a man, knocking all the boxes off the truck, building back the community, saluting child labor, concluding the saga of Johnny and Mina, no-selling an exploding car, battling a goth gnosis princess, speculating over character-specific bosses, and battling the greatest Joe of them all. Let ..read more

We were made to discover the true form of the universe. You were made to discover us asking masked men relevant questions, amnesia’ing away Virgil, realizing Junior has failed, summoning even more fucked up shit out of space, going way off villain plan script, hallucinating heroines, ejecting a science lab into space to rebuild a knowledge daughter, throwing dangerous items into the abyss, losing it over the idea of a double black hole, rebuilding the Death Star, forcing a time-based ultimatum, favoring a goop scenario, and finally finding the boss (of us). The laws by which we are governed ar ..read more

Don’t be vague in the Y data. Join as as we’re crystal clear about slicing the head off our statue throne, suffering a Momo asset swap, receiving a cheese massage, longing for reality, reconsidering Nietzsche as a “little bitch,” inserting hands into jellybellys, regrowing another head, blaming nanomachines (son), exploring brain memories, laughing until it makes sense, engaging in an energy battle, drawing “super sonic” out of Junior, entering a third beam in the energy wars, drawing out Momo’s daddy issues, introducing a blue Testament, and suffering an engine stop. I do not exist for your p ..read more

Our second episode of Infinite Perfect finds the intersection between the bizarro world of film negatives and the fantasy zone of Space Harrier. It's the same place at the same time, and one cannot exist without the other. Ride the cycloptic mammoth through the checkerboard pastal wastes to figure out how in the hell Eric believes all of this must be true ..read more

Why is she trying to sell stuff when she has nothing to sell? Join us as we’re (well, Albedo is) abusing a robot child for information, clarifying additional censorship, arguing over if dad can save daughter or if boyfriend can save girlfriend, receiving weapons in email, blowing up vending machines, learning about space graves, wondering if robots can be as illogical as humans, implying Tonyism, dragging out memory mind consciousnesses, becoming catatonic, solving an elevator box math puzzle, and willing ourselves to power through a slog of a dungeon. Carrying two guns is the same as carrying ..read more