Lee Anderson reveals incredible new poll which shows 100% of Ashfield residents in his house will vote for Reform UK
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by Andy Matthews
8h ago
Ashfield's very own moron-herder, and the nation's only Reform UK MP, Lee Anderson, has revealed the shocking results of a new poll which point to him winning a stunning re-election victory ..read more
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Labour issues pledge to nationalise the Conservative Party
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by Davywavy
11h ago
Labour has announced a plan to take the Conservative Party into public ownership within their first term in government ..read more
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After ‘Mr Bates vs The Post Office’ loses £1m, ITV urged to check if their bookkeeping software is made by Fujitsu
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by Andy Matthews
14h ago
ITV has announced that its hugely successful TV drama, 'Mr Bates vs The Post Office,' was far from a commercial success. It lost about a million pounds, resulting in many viewers urging them to check the software that gave them that figure ..read more
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‘I just don’t trust any jab’, insists woman who happily injects literal poison into her forehead every six months
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by Andy Matthews
1d ago
A woman has today insisted she doesn't trust the government enough to get vaccinated against any 'made up disease', even though she's happy to let a beautician inject literal poison into her forehead three times a year ..read more
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Prison sentences to be introduced for grown-ups who clap when a plane lands
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by Mark Molloy
1d ago
Grown adults who clap when a plane lands are to be given lengthy prison sentences under strict new laws being introduced by the government, it has emerged today ..read more
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Man quietly sings ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ whilst putting jam on his scone first
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by Davywavy
1d ago
Local Rebel Simon Williams is channelling the spirit of anti-authoritarian rock by rejecting social norms and putting the jam on his scone first, it has emerged today ..read more
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Colleagues rally round Tory MP Hannibal Lector following cannibalism revelations
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by Neil Tollfree
2d ago
The Tory MP Hannibal Lector, who has found himself at the centre of a cannibalism scandal over the weekend, has received fulsome backing from friends and colleagues ..read more
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Brave patriot highlights his love of country and St George by hurling traffic cone at policeman
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by Andy Matthews
2d ago
Lovers of St George have gathered in London to express their patriotism using their preferred communication medium of mindless thuggery and violence ..read more
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Games Workshop further outrages fans by changing name of Corpse Starch to Snickers
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by Davywavy
2d ago
Games Workshop have added to recent controversy in the popular Warhammer 40K line by changing the name of a well-established foodstuff to Snickers, it has emerged ..read more
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Laurence Fox demands Google ‘forget’ St. George was actually a Turkish migrant
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by Andy Matthews
3d ago
Laurence Fox has made a submission to search giant Google via their ‘Right To Forget’ programme, in an effort to remove all online references to St George’s Greek nationality ..read more
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