True ableism isn’t in sharing the struggles tied to autism; it’s in pretending those struggles don’t exist. Why the need to argue that a disabled person is only disabled because of society? Even in the most perfect world, Charlie would still swallow screws, still be unable to communicate pain, still run into danger, still not know how to hold a pencil or spell his name. Why insist that a child with an intellectual disability and Level 3 autism, who is cognitively at a pre-K level, being in a mixed-age classroom is the same as being in 6th grade? Ask yourself: does the reality of disability mak ..read more

Dear Charlie, Today should have been your first day of 6th grade. The start of middle school—a big milestone. But for you, today is different. Not quite what most people imagine; it’s your own special journey. You should be learning about history, geography, and even some challenging math. Instead, you’re mastering the basics—learning how to hold a pencil and the letters of the alphabet. And while other kids your age are chatting with friends, you’re in a world of your own; a world that doesn’t include friends—a world that is uniquely yours. I wish I could hear you come home, bursting with sto ..read more

Individual quality time with children is healthy I’ve noticed a trend over the years: whenever I post photos of me enjoying time with one of my kids, there are always comments asking, “Where is Charlie?” or “Where is Jude?” Just yesterday, I shared about my road trip with Jude to a the Waco Indie Film Festival, and predictably, someone commented, “Charlie should have gone with you.” The event was geared towards adults, requiring attendees to be still and quiet. The room was echoey and crowded, which wouldn’t have been enjoyable for Charlie. It also wouldn’t have been fair to the hundreds of fi ..read more

My daughter is a sensory seeker; she’s not autistic. I know that most comments about my daughter, Billie, come from a place of love and concern, and I appreciate that sincerely. But I promise you, there’s nothing you can see in Billie that I haven’t thoroughly considered. Autism is a complex spectrum, and while a toddler being a sensory seeker can sometimes be cause for concern, it’s important to remember that it’s just one piece of a larger puzzle—no pun intended. According to the DSM-5, the diagnostic manual used to define autism spectrum disorder (ASD), several criteria must be met for a di ..read more

Autism inclusion doesn’t stop at Level 1 Autism, it doesn’t come with conditions, and it doesn’t stop when it’s hard. Drowning is the number one cause of accidental death in autistic children, and Charlie deserves a chance to learn to swim. If you followed me last year, you probably remember that Charlie was kicked out of swimming lessons because the 1:1 aides provided by the so-called inclusion department weren’t willing to work with him because of his behaviors. At the time, his main behaviors were being too excited (jumping up and down/squealing with excitement) and not wanting to leave the ..read more

I won’t keep the suspense any longer: Charlie’s ABA Therapy Center agreed to be flexible with their policy so Charlie could attend both school and ABA Therapy. The need for flexible ABA Therapy In an era dominated by “cancel culture,” I believe it’s essential to forgive and allow individuals and companies the opportunity to make mistakes and grow from them. Plus, you know, you gotta give that positive reinforcement. ? After I expressed my disappointment with Charlie’s discharge from ABA therapy for not meeting 80% of the recommended hours, his center contacted me, held internal discussions, an ..read more

A few days ago, I shared Charlie’s ABA center’s decision to discharge him from ABA Therapy for not meeting the 80% recommended hours of clinical recommendation. I had known about the center’s decision since March but only shared it now. I want to reiterate that the people Charlie works with are incredible. I have no criticism of his direct therapy or ABA as a therapy. After seeing my blog post, his ABA center reached out, so I’m hoping we’ll find a way to allow Charlie to attend both school and ABA. I will keep you posted. Timeline of Charlie’s discharge from ABA Therapy Charlie was supposed t ..read more

This is the story of how Charlie was, for lack of a better term, kicked out from ABA Therapy. I’m going to do something I rarely do and speak negatively about ABA Therapy. As usual, though, remember that my experience is only that: my experience. My negative experience isn’t a reflection of the entire field of ABA; it’s a reflection of my personal encounter with ABA. I also want to emphasize that I still have no issue with the therapy itself but rather with the business aspect of it. ABA Therapy, 2-1, and challenging behaviors A bit of context is needed here. This year has been incredibly chal ..read more

Autism friendly activities in Texas? We had been looking for autism friendly places to visit near Austin, TX, where Charlie and Jude could have a good time.  Even though they’re both on the autism spectrum, their needs are vastly different. Charlie is 11 and diagnosed with Level 3, severe autism, as well as ADHD and intellectual disability. He’s nonverbal and communicates basic needs using an AAC device.  Jude is eight years old, verbal, and gifted. His mind goes 100mph, and he needs constant stimulation.  When the City of Beaumont reached out to let me know they had some sensor ..read more

My dream of becoming a published author I just submitted the manuscript for my third Thought Catalog book. It’s a milestone I often overlook, but if you asked about my proudest accomplishment, this would be it: I’m a published author. It sometimes feels like people only see me through the lens of my advocacy work for autism or as “Charlie’s mom, “overlooking the person behind it all. That person has dreamed of being an author since childhood, back in her home in northern France. And she made it happen. She might not be a New York Times bestseller, but she’s fulfilled her dream. Three times. To ..read more