Re-frame your thoughts and re-frame the experience of your life. Why would we do this? To have an experience that FEELS better. Think of a very fixed opinion that you have, or a long-held position you have on a certain subject, person or thing. A position you are shoring up despite the holes in your defences! Is this thought making you feel good? No? Even though you continue to run the same thoughts times after time. No? Well, then it is time for a re-frame. This is so simple and so effective; all you need is a lot of practice. The key to transforming anything lies in our ability to re-frame ..read more

Solution energy is high vibe. Try to find the difference for yourself. Recall when you last spent ages discussing a problem or complaining about something or someone. How did it make you feel? Did you feel the energy in the room getting low? Did you experience yourself of others saying, ‘and another thing…?’ This is the death knell to most conversations, because ‘and another thing’ is rarely another example of something good. We love to talk about the problem. Why is that? We find ourselves stuck in the problem space. It’s easy to create energy and dare I say DRAMA around the issue. We tell l ..read more

It is up to you what you put into practice every day. Whatever it is, the action that you take, know that it is driven by your thoughts and feelings first. If you don’t feel abundant, the chances are that you have not practiced thoughts of abundance regularly enough to hold the feeling in place. Like a review for the best sticking tape in the world (no adverts here!)  the solution to holding a feeling needs to be ‘tough and clear’ and ‘incredibly strong.’ So, feeling abundant is a mindset and a feelset. 1.       Appreciating what you have, brings more of the ..read more

Indulging in my favourite macaroons Life is not black and white, as collective wisdom tells us, it is all shades of grey. For me it’s most often a continuum, from over here to over there, from one end to another, somewhere on a scale of 1-10, from where you are to where you want to be. So, on my imaginary scale between indulging and enabling, where do you find yourself, and how do you help others? The first answer of course is knowing the difference between the two and what happens where. I have watched myself do both and it’s good to know that I can. It’s even better to know which end of the ..read more

Highs and lows are something we expect in our life and that’s ok. To be clear, it’s the circumstances of our life are categorised as ‘high’ and ‘low.’  But, when we take a deeper look at this, it’s actually our thoughts and feelings about the circumstance that create the rise and fall, the difficulties, the starts and stops in our emotions. If you have experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, it’s not a comfortable thing. We go back and forth in our mind, rationalising, feeling the feelings again, adding more fuel to the fire. We have jumped on the metaphorical carriage and ‘off we go’ a ..read more

Finding your ‘good places to go’ feels great. We can have good habits, rituals, anchors and touchstones. Places where we go, in our mind or physically to reconnect with ourself, our place of home.   I like the thought of touchstones as an addition to rituals and good habits because it is something that is momentary, private and easy. The easiest of all touchstones is our breath. At the fitness class I go to, the instructor always tells us to ‘breathe and take a moment for yourself.’ It’s nice to be reminded to do this, as so often we go about our day with our ‘moments’ elsewhere, for oth ..read more

Do you often hear people saying ‘well, it is what it is’ with an accompanying shrug of the shoulders?   Accepting ‘what is’ is a good thing, but the next move is not to perpetuate your thoughts around it but to move onwards and upwards towards what you want.    Continuing to observe ‘what-is’ keeps whatever ‘it is’ going. Like mixing and mixing the same cake ingredients in the bowl, nothing happens until you stop what you are doing and put the darn thing in the oven. Only then will the cake you desire fully appear!   Whatever ‘it’ is in your life, a tricky relationship, wo ..read more

How many reasons do you give yourself to do something or not? Is your reason not to do something ‘a retreat to imaginary safety’? When we reason with our self and give reasons why we are not going to do something, it’s definitely a retreat to a place where we feel better, for a while.  Don’t stop me now! What happens when we start to justify our decisions? Well, for a start we tell everyone about our reasons for doing the thing or not. It’s like we are looking for approval for our reasons. We want people to agree with us, support us and encourage us. Often, they chip ..read more

Do you wish that you could never feel fear again? Fear can prevent us from moving forward and makes us feel like we should just stay where we are. Taking risks is not possible when we are overwhelmed with the need to stay safe. Or maybe it is possible? Can we ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’? Is it possible to do one thing while feeling the other? Can we hold fear and action in the direction that we want anyway? Yes, we can. This is self-management and self-support at its best. For many, we are fortunate to be able to advance in the direction of our goals and dreams. Our lives are comfortable ..read more

For those of us who are used to using lots of words, Stop Press! Words don’t teach, only our experience teaches. Not the experience of others, not the words of others, only a personally felt-experience teaches us. An a-ha moment is not the same when go back and try to rediscover it. It was a felt-experience at the time. Never to be re-felt in the same way. That time has passed. The emphasis here is on a felt-experience and so when we avoid our feelings, we are avoiding the real experience. We may dismiss the experience, avoid it, or ignore it and so only if we feel our feelings about an event ..read more