When I think back to being invited to our church’s leadership meeting in 2022, I can feel the excitement all over again. I can remember Micah and I half joking about how we weren’t sure if our pastors meant to invite us. I was nervous and excited to be a part of whatever these meetings consisted of but I also felt that being included in leadership would require a heart posture that was open to serve the body, and for loving correction/discipleship if needed.  If you couldn’t tell by now, we never expected to be involved in leadership at our church and help carry the weight of the responsi ..read more

I feel like time is moving rapidly. Today is Levi’s due date, April 1st, 2024. Did we really go through all of that in December and it’s already April? Goodness. I really believe that in order to tell you of all the miraculous things God was and is doing through Levi’s brief time here, I need to start from the beginning. While Levi was our 3rd pregnancy loss in 4 years, I feel like I need to break down the timeline so you can understand the season we’ve been in. In 2019, we were pregnant with our first baby, Jacqueline. That pregnancy with Jacqueline ended with my water breaking at 18 weeks, 5 ..read more

What was true then is still true now. I’ve thought about writing this many times but I haven’t been able to sit down and clearly express my thoughts, memories, emotions, and revelations until now. I’m currently 3 months postpartum after losing Levi at 6 months (24weeks) pregnant. Surprisingly, most days I’m in good spirits. Of course, there are other days and moments where grief hits like a huge crashing wave that knocks me down. It reminds me of the beach; you know the types of waves that creep up behind you out of nowhere. The kinds of waves that tower over your head and in one fail swoop th ..read more

I can still feel the steamy breeze on that hot July summer morning as I was watering our wildflowers. I was admiring new seedlings among flourishing flowers, and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Levi is here.” In that moment, I could feel God’s wraparound presence and peace. The following day, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. This positive test came four weeks after the Cottons prayed for God to open my womb. We knew this was the promise, the miracle, that had been prophesied to come to pass. Michael Cotton reminded and charged us to hear from the Lord on all of our children’s na ..read more

Well guys the moment has finally come to share that we’re expecting our little miracle baby in April, 2024. This is turning out to be quite the testimony of God’s sovereignty and faithfulness to fulfill his promises. It would be easy to have an attitude of entitlement for this promised child, especially with two babies in heaven. Through everything we’ve been through, it’s obvious that the gift of children isn’t earned, or deserved. I’m so thankful for the time God has given us to heal from losing Jacqueline and Ezra. They are with Jesus and this gives us so much peace. In the waiting, God has ..read more

I remember after such a long journey to receiving healing with endometriosis, getting pregnant with Jacqueline seemed like God’s promises of children were coming to pass. When we lost her, it was hard to understand what God was doing. When we lost Ezra, nine months later, it was even more difficult to understand God’s plan. Eventually, God revealed that our children in heaven, were not part of the promises of living children that were spoken. Losing Jacqueline left a huge hole for God to fill, and so He begin to do a work in me. Losing Ezra brought me to the end of myself again, which of cours ..read more

As I’m pulling weeds, planting flowers, and transplanting ground cover today, I’m reminded of John‬ ‭15‬:‭1‬-‭5‬, ““I am a true sprouting vine, and the farmer who tends the vine is my Father. He cares for the branches connected to me by lifting and propping up the fruitless branches and pruning every fruitful branch to yield a greater harvest. The words I have spoken over you have already cleansed you. So you must remain in life-union with me, for I remain in life-union with you. For as a branch severed from the vine will not bear fruit, so your life will be fruitless unless you live your lif ..read more

I was praying this morning and felt this in my spirit: When stuff hits the fan, God will still be there. The question is really, will I remain engaged with God in every season? Is my faith dependent on what I want or is my faith centered on Jesus and God‘s word. I think most of us would agree that we can’t control God or control difficult circumstances that we are called to walk through. I know that when I start to feel like I want to control an outcome or a promise that my focus is veering off course. The tricky thing about control is that we are so easily self deceived. We tell ourselves th ..read more

We certainly had a different picture for our forever home, but when God spoke a promise about this house and land, it changed everything in 2018. Two weeks later, God’s generosity moved through my father and mother-in-law to gift us this house in exchange for what she put into it, and we are so grateful they followed that nudge. We certainly don’t deserve this house, and we are thankful for God’s provision and the willingness and generosity of Micah’s dad and stepmom to allow God to flow through them. God’s generosity is never just for our own personal benefit. We know that God wants to flow t ..read more

Two years ago today, our daughter Jacqueline Rose was born about 21 weeks early. Her life was short but she was such a gift. While we were praying this morning, I could hear Underground River singing on repeat: We will choose to liveIn remembranceThrough the test of timeYour faithfulness will stand I remember the moment my water broke, I could almost audibly hear Pastor Whit say, “Locate what you know”. I could then hear the Dutilley children declaring, “Fear is not aloud.” You see, the Holy Spirit used the Father of the house, and the children of the house to comfort and instruct me. So whi ..read more