Nectarines Her: Nectarines. Me: Nectarines?! Nectarines are the oatmeal raisin cookie of the fruit world; no one picks up a nectarine hoping it’s a nectarine. Everyone hopes it’s peach and accept it’s a nectarine – just like people think it’s a chocolate chip cookie and accept it’s actually an oatmeal raisin cookie. Her: (shaking head) Nope! Not me, I prefer nectarines. Me: And just how long have you been a communist? Her: A long time, apparently. Right after we got back from LA, RE Mike invited us to one of the opening nights of the new musical, The Heart of Rock and Roll, which was with song ..read more

Everything we’d hoped it be We didn’t really get a chance to enjoy our hotel at all so, for our last day, we decided to just spend a relaxing morning, lounging about. Besides Lucky Boy, the other thing I always try to have when I’m in LA is a Fatburger – well, as luck would have it, there was one just down the street from our hotel room. This may, or may not, have been planned. Now, the Firecracker had been watching this really cool documentary about donuts – called The Donut King, about an immigrant who made a donut empire but decided to teach other immigrants how to do the same to better t ..read more

Combined, we’re 100 years old! The next day, we woke up pretty early and headed out to Santa Monica. The Firecracker’s kid is obsessed with trains and wanted pictures/videos of the LA metro system so, for the first time in my life, I took the Los Angeles Subway. We got onto the Wilshire/Western Station and tried to pay with a TAP card that we bought but it didn’t work so I jumped the turnstile. Me: Never thought I’d be jumping turnstiles at 51. Her: Just don’t get arrested! Me: Well, we paid for the fare, the reader just couldn’t read it. I don’t feel guilty about it because of that. The sta ..read more

A crispy potato delight Woke up the next morning and immediately thought of my usual Lucky Boy brekkie, of course, so, off we went. But not before meeting a new friend. Right next to Lucky Boy is the very first Trader Joe’s so we had to stop for a picture. We finally got to Lucky Boy and I got a breakfast BLT and a double cheeseburger. Three people commented on my jacket, positively. Her: I just want to say, that is a great jacket on you. Me: Thank you! My brother doesn’t think so. Her: (laughing) He’s wrong. Our bellies full, we walked over to Old Pasadena to check things out. But first w ..read more

Not associating with My brother was in NYC recently and the Firecracker and I decided to head back with him to LA just because we both had a little time, and she had some frequent flier miles to use up. The issue was that she had to be in CT for work that morning, so she picked me up from my pad at 2:17 to make a 5:03 flight. Unfortunately, traffic was ridonk so we cut it pretty close. Still, we got there just in time and even managed to meet up with my brother at the airport. My brother had priority with security via TSA Precheck so we all ended up at the gate at the same time. After we got ..read more

Scavenging The Firecracker likes to do things like go on scavenger hunts so she arranged for one for the four of us to do – me, her, my kid, and her kid. So early on a Saturday morning, we went off to try our hand at it. Unfortunately, neither boy was really into it and the weather was pretty lousy – rainy, cold, and grey – so after a few hours, we called it. Although, not before the kids managed to find a playground to play a little. As for me, I found something to keep my interest. Me: You don’t see that very often in Manhattan anymore. Her: What? Me: An ivy-covered building. It was good t ..read more

Significant but unknown The NFL Player and my buddy Thor took the Firecracker and myself out to Porterhouse for my birthday again. Him: I assume you’ll have an Old Fashioned with Rye. Me: I like what I like. This time, everyone came with their significant others, which was nice. We all chatted about the earthquake and the eclipse… …amongst other things. Him: Logan always has some random fact. Me: This is true. Did you know that, when I was a kid, Cap’n Crunch gave away a plastic whistle that oscillated at exactly 2,600Hz, which was the exact frequency of NYC payphones so that if you blew one ..read more

Soon, I’ll be 60 years old Me: I have all the wisdom and finances of someone older but I look much younger. Her: True…and thank god you’re nerdy. I couldn’t be with someone cool. Me: Yeah, I…wait, what? I’m 51 now. What a kick in the head. It’s weird, wishing to be 40. But it’s still better than the alternative. The Firecracker baked me a low-carb cupcake with cream cheese frosting based on a recipe from my sister. And she also bought me a bahn mi, which was my major carb splurge, although that I had with a super low-carb beer. And my son played this song for me. Thought you’d enjoy it. 7 Y ..read more

Old and Crotchety Her: One day, someone’s gonna look at the two of us and think, “What is that young-looking person doing with that old-looking person.” Me: I’ll still think you’re beautiful, even when you’re old-looking. Her: I was talking about you! You’re the old one in that scenario. Me: (laughing) Let’s not be ridiculous here. I don’t age.  It was the Firecracker’s birthday the other day. Since both kids were around, I just got some ramen for everyone. She wanted a cake but I’m trying to avoid carbs – yes, I had some ramen, just go with it – so we compromised with a huge cupcake for ..read more

Good Vibes Only I unlocked a new level the other day. A woman, let’s call her Jill, that occasionally watches my son for me has a copy of my keys and she left something here the other day. She told me she’d swing by one afternoon but I forgot to put it in the calendar. Fast forward to a rando day recently and I’d stepped outta the bathroom in my birthday suit as the kid was in school. It was at that exact moment that she decided to show up and our eyes locked like a 1930s western or a 1980s rom-com. She’s not originally from America so the conversation below is edited slightly. Her: Logan! I ..read more