Practicing Radical Acceptance Step-by-step: Observe that you are fighting or questioning reality (“It shouldn’t be this way”). Remind yourself that the unpleasant reality is just as it is and cannot be changed (“This is what happened”). Remind yourself that there are causes for this reality. Acknowledge that some sort of history led up to this very moment. Consider how people’s lives have been shaped by a series of factors. Notice that given these causal factors and how history led up to this moment, this reality had to occur just this way (“This is how things happened”). Practice accepting w ..read more

CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Or maybe Challenge Bad Thoughts? Or Calmly Breathe Through? Situations create thoughts, which create emotions, which create behaviors. To change negative core beliefs, refute negative thoughts with three positive thoughts. First, you have to pull back and listen to the negative thoughts. Take off your self-made self-limiting sunglasses and view the world through the lens of CBT! There are a few ways of Distorted Thinking, which can be corrected with a little time, patience and dedication to a healthier viewpoint. Styles of Distorted Thinking: Filte ..read more

Dear Delusions, Don’t come back. Please don’t come back. God grace me with a sound mind for the rest of my life. It was only a few months ago I snapped out of your fog over my Spirit. Ever since I got raped when I was 18, you’ve been whispering in my brain, convincing me to act on you, think like you, and scare everyone around me. And if they weren’t scared or weirded out, they were laughing at me. You’ve isolated me by pushing everyone away. Nobody wants to be around the crazy girl. You take over my mind and body. I am either in the backseat, unable to stop you, or I am gone altogether, with ..read more

Michael poses an important question during Toby’s exit interview. Who do you think you are? I decided to answer… (I’m Sam). Who I was – I was a slave to my emotions and addictions. I let fear control me and run my life. I was unable to be alone and suffering. My thoughts and feelings made life unenjoyable. I was completely absorbed in the physical world with no clarity or perspective. Who I am – I am a child of God. I am the Holy Spirit working through a body called Samantha Bakony. I am love, I am pure conscious awareness. I am the Witness, watching thoughts float by as if clouds, emotions ri ..read more

I wrote a letter from my inner critic to me and burned it because it was so horrifically false and self-destructive. We all have that negative voice inside our heads, and it’s time to fight back. I love myself and I’m not ashamed to seem conceited, if you heard my inner critic letter you would cheer for this rebuttal. Thank you for giving me space to rebuke the nasty voices in my head. Dear Sam (Love, Sam), First, let me say that your inner critic is wrong about you. Whoever contributed to its formation is wrong about you. You deserve love, support, hugs, nice things, and safe people in your l ..read more

As part of my Jedi Training, I was given the assignment of writing 100 Affirmations to myself. Beyond all these, I have value because Jesus Christ says I have value. That’s it. Periodt. With that said, here we go! I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am worthy of love. I can heal. I am hilarious. I am kind. I am a loving person. I am mesmerizing. I am meaningful. I have a purpose. I am loved. I am special. I am important. I am worth more than gold. I am unique! I am trustworthy. I make a difference in people’s lives. I have a good voice. My friends are amazing. I have a good style. I won the b ..read more

What does being in control mean to you? Really, write it down. For me, it’s something like this: Being in control of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions so they don’t cripple me, and ruin my life and happiness. Being free. What if I told you that you are in control? You can choose your reactions. None of us can live without stress, it’s part of our biochemistry, but we can choose how we respond to stressors and body symptoms. If you can’t eliminate the stress, modify it, if you can’t modify, under react. Under reacting always helps. Here’s the truth: Your way of THINKING is causing your ANXIE ..read more

These are kind of just little notes and such that I created and consolidated during quarantine, while I was losing my mind in a studio apartment with nobody to talk to all day. I started with chakra colors and graduated to God and Christianity. Here goes… GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE What if I never feel okay? –> Even if I never feel okay. What does GOD want for YOU? Authentic self-validation leads to authentic choices, which lead to authentic experiences and people. LOVE AND GRATITUDE! Healthy relationships: -respect boundaries -accountability, don’t blame others -don’t projec ..read more

“I am trying to trust my intuition and have faith.” While packing and unpacking, I uncovered a forgotten journal my stepmom gave to me to write in when I couldn’t sleep. It’s small—with enough room for a few thoughts, and quotes about sleeping and cannibalizing in on yourself before bed. I used to have trouble sleeping because my anxious brain wouldn’t shut off. Right when it gets quiet, the worrying begins.  When manic, it can be impossible to sleep for days. Some of these journal entries are paraphrased, other bits are copied straight from the book. It’s like an ancient relic of my mani ..read more

For those of you who are interested, here is a comprehensive list of everything I’ve seen and heard while “manic” or “psychotic.” If you’re new here, I have a serious mental illness called Bipolar Disorder Type 1. I’ll leave it up to you to decide what is reality and what is misfiring neurons on this list. But first: Beliefs I held at one point in time: My Greek mythology teacher is the reincarnation of Hitler and is also a Reptilian magician who is trying to trick me into marrying him. Safe to say I had a really hard time paying attention in that class and failed. I’m a priestess of the Egy ..read more