20 years ago, the only home I’d ever known went up in flames. I was sitting in my 8th grade math class when I was called to the office to check out of school. Instantly, I knew something was really, really wrong. I spent the rest of the day standing in our yard watching firefighters attempt to put out the fire while also knowing everything would be lost either to the flames or destroyed by smoke or water. I will never forget leaving that evening to go to my grandmothers where we would spend the next several nights. A friend had gone to Dollar General to buy us things like toothbrushes and deod ..read more

It’s a bowl of homemade buns to go with homemade sloppy joes. But to me, it’s so much more. It’s a basket holding growth and healing and progress and simple joys returning. In the “before”, I baked bread for my family. Made rainbow cupcakes for my kids. Loved lesson planning and pre-school with my littles. Then, a lot of traumatic things happened. And I spent the next years just trying to survive. And when you are just trying to survive- you don’t have the capacity for any extra. (That came from my therapist as I explained that pieces of me from before- pieces that I wasn’t searching for becau ..read more

One year ago today, a beautiful baby girl was born. I only know that because 48 hours later, I picked her up from the hospital and became her temporary mama. When it became clear after only a couple months that she would need a forever family, it absolutely crushed me to admit that I (& we) knew that we were not that family. She was the most perfect baby. Letting her go and knowing she would not reunite with her birth family broke me. But, we were able to play a small part in finding “her” family. I have no doubt she will grow up celebrated, supported, and loved and that she landed in the ..read more

When I started therapy back in October 2021, my assessment scores were sky high. My anxiety scored at 20. The highest number on the assessment is 21. My depression assessment was an 11. I wasn’t suicidal, but I truly wouldn’t have cared if I’d been hit by a bus. I knew I was in a place with 2 choices- ride the spiral down, down, down or fight like hell to keep my head above water. I will *always* fight like hell to be the mom my kids deserve but I knew back in October that I didn’t have the “tools” I truly needed to stop the spiral. So I picked up the phone and bawled my eyes out while making ..read more

Here we go again. Very unexpected. I said no more babies. I said only respite. But then when the call came, I couldn’t say no. So here we go again. Heart as unprepared as ever. We will call her “Sweet Pea” here since her first outing was to a flower farm. And she is, of course, so sweet. It was a first for me- walking into a hospital with an empty car seat and walking out with someone else’s baby. She’s not our first newborn, but our first that required me to go to the hospital. Honestly, it was extremely hard and emotional. I cried on the way to the hospital and had knots in my stomach on th ..read more

32 It’s waking up without an alarm, rolling out of bed, opening the blinds over my nightstand, and watching the chickens and goats first thing in the morning. It’s having a list of family favorite meals. It’s routines that make life so much smoother. It’s tears springing to me eyes at least once daily in pure gratitude for my beautiful family. It’s becoming a morning person after years of being a night owl. 9PM, I’m ready to lay down. It’s watching in awe as seeds I’ve planted turn into actual plants with leaves. It’s getting giddy over spring babies and finding joy in being surrounded by far ..read more

After taking all of 2020 off from reading books, I jumped back in as the calendar flipped to 2021.  I finished 3 books in January and started quite a few others.  Finding time to read with a house full of kids is hard.  Throw in a set of twin toddlers and it gets a little more complicated.  That said, I am determined to read at least one book monthly in 2021.   If You Tell My first read was If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen.  As the title suggests, it’s a true crime story surrounding Shelly ..read more

Back in October, we had our favorite photographer out to the house to take some family photos at home. Even though it’s been four months, I’m still so in love with these photos. They turned out beautifully. It’s so special to me that we were able to take these in our new home and document those moments. For reference (and for myself when I look back), the kids ages at the time were 1, 1, 6, 9, 11, and 19. All photos by Kayla Cobb Photography. The post Family Photos at Home Fall 2020 appeared first on It's Gravy, Baby ..read more

It’s been a little over 2 years since we got the shock of our lives.  Our surprise baby was our surprise babies- twins!  The following month, we found out that our twins were both boys.  On June 17th, they turned 18 months old.  A full year and half.  That first year was so hard.  We fostered a baby 36 days older than them for 6 months between May and December of last year.  So when the twins were 5 months old, we added baby Tripp and essentially had triplets. Not long after he came to us, I sleep-trained the twins and life eased up drastically.  Sleep ..read more

Our master bath is one of the rooms that isn’t quite finished.  The shower still needs tiled, a few walls need another coat of white paint, and there is some trim left to install.  Buuuut y’all, even incomplete, I can’t explain my love for this room.  For 10 years, we lived in a home with 1 bathtub/ shower combo.  At times, there were 11 people in that house.  In 2018, we finally put in a second toilet, but continued on with our one full bathroom.  It was a very rare occurrence for me to take a bath without interruption.  And by interruption, I mean one of t ..read more