Understand and apply these 3 types of gratitude to experience a state a state of great-fullness. Adapted from my book ‘Awaken The Happy You.” When I was around eight or nine years old, I was out shopping with my mother one day. As we walked along the busy street filled with weekend shoppers, I remember being struck by the thought: “Here we are, on a giant rock in some far-flung corner of the universe, hurtling through space at incredible speed.” Clearly, I was the only person in the crowded street who was aware of this astonishing fact. Otherwise they wouldn’t just be shopping, would the ..read more

“Be like teflon, not like velcro. Non-resistance is the key to a smooth, peaceful, non-sticky life!” —Richard Paterson As long as we inhabit these human bodies, it is inevitable that we will experience pain in our lives, whether it be in the form of disappointment, loss, failure or the unwanted thoughts, feelings and emotions that gatecrash their way uninvited into our heads. Although pain is an unavoidable part of the human experience, how much we suffer as a result comes not so much from events themselves (I include thoughts and feelings here) but from our level of resistance to whatever ari ..read more

“Everyone is chasing happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.” – Bertolt Brecht Your job is going well. Your relationship too. It’s maybe not as thrilling as Jack and Rose in the movie “Titanic,” but it’s fine. You have good friends, a nice house, a comfortable lifestyle — and yet something essential is missing. You are not happy. And it is really getting you down. You try to rationalise it. How, with so much to be grateful for, you SHOULD be happy. How there are so many people in the world less fortunate than yourself — people who have REAL problems to contend with. B ..read more

Are the following happiness myths preventing you from experiencing the lasting happiness you long for? The desire to live a happy, fulfilling life is universal and transcends culture, race, and socioeconomic status. All of our decisions and actions in life are, on some level, informed by the belief they will make us happier, even if only momentarily. Like inner peace, there are two types of happiness—happiness as a transient feeling which comes and goes, and the deep feeling of joy that is unchanging and ever-present in the depths of our being beyond the mind. In the absence of this deep inn ..read more

“Self-understanding rather than self-condemnation is the way to inner peace and mature conscience” —Joshua Liebman I was talking to a young guy the other day who was telling me how he has been working hard on self-improvement over the past couple of years and was interested to hear my thoughts on the matter. I asked him what kind of issues he’s been working on and he replied, “Anxiety, self-judgement, anger, overwhelm, frustration. Those are probably the main ones.” “And how is it going?” I enquired. “Mixed. Some days I feel I’m making progress. I feel more relaxed, more at peace. And other da ..read more

“Tell you story three times and no more.” — African proverb I’d like to share the story of a woman I recently spoke with who was really upset that her 25-year marriage had come to an end. Let’s call her Laura. As we talked, Laura told me how her former husband had been a narcissist, how he only thought about himself, and how she believed the only reason he had stayed with her for so long was because it was convenient for him—she cleaned the house, cooked the meals, fed and clothed the kids, and provided an audience for the narcissistic stories he indulged in daily. She had finally had enough a ..read more

Resistance creates suffering. The antidote is accepting what is.  Unpleasant events are an inevitable and unavoidable part of life, whether it be the sudden downpour that wipes out the picnic, the flat tyre at the end of an exhausting day at work, the noisy neighbour playing Metallica at 3 in the morning, or the intrusive thoughts and feelings that appear uninvited in our heads and make life so difficult at times.  And while it’s perfectly natural to prefer pleasant experiences to unpleasant ones and peaceful thoughts and feelings to disturbing ones, most people spend a huge amount ..read more

Resistance creates suffering. Accepting what is, is the antidote. Unpleasant events are an inevitable and unavoidable part of life, whether it be the sudden downpour that wipes out the picnic, the flat tyre at the end of an exhausting day at work, the noisy neighbour playing Metallica at 3 in the morning, or the intrusive thoughts and feelings that can make life so difficult.  And while it’s perfectly natural to prefer pleasant experiences to unpleasant ones and peaceful thoughts and feelings to disturbing ones, most people spend a lot of time and energy resisting things that are not in ..read more

“Mind your own business. Let the thoughts come and go as they please. Without a place to land, they are unable to touch your peace.”   The following is an excerpt from my latest book “Help! I Can’t Stop Thinking.” The Wretched Red Cushion It was 2004. I was on day three of a six-month meditation retreat, and my turbulent and restless mind was driving me nuts. The prospect of sitting on this wretched cushion for another five minutes (let alone six months) was freaking me out. “What on earth have I let myself in for? Coming here was a big mistake. I want to go home.” My restless monkey min ..read more

“In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”— The Buddha Although the Buddhist wisdom of second arrow is something I’ve been familiar with for many years and always attempted to follow, I got caught totally off guard last week by an unexpected event that happened.  For the last 20 years or so, I’ve been going to India every winter, usually for 3 months. For the last 3 years, I’ve been unable to go because of Covid so I’ve been feeling pretty excited about finally getting back there this year. So ..read more