Napoleon, we’ve seen him wild with anger, we’ve seen him quiver with rage, we’ve seen him snuff with impunity. Now it’s time to see Napoleon calm as a clam – a clam that also happens to control one of the world’s most significant military forces. Fresh from a light ride, and with his full-bodied narcissistic fury bottled safely and healthily inside, clam Napoleon is ready to chat like a big clam. Casual, cool, calm, clam – prepare yourself for the most relaxing seafood encounter you’re likely to have this week, with France’s most reasonable and normal shellfish emperor ..read more

We start with three noble Barry’s: Barry the Bugler, Barry the Bodyguard and Barry the Burger (horse). Will the Barry’s successfully escort their leader, who might also be called Barry, along the yellow brick road to find out who’s behind the curtain?   Will they succeed? Will they successfully stop the war? Or will they each get a faceful of snuff?  Whatever happens, we can all agree, it’s absolutely NOT like rain on your wedding day.  ..read more

Don’t be coconut shy, come on down to the WAPIN7 Fête!  We’ve got dodgems, teacup rides and a coconut shy! Plus an area to sell secondhand goods. It must be fate.  Fancy some candy floss?! Well, the machine is broken so you can’t have any.  Oh, and we’re off to war…  Again.  ..read more

We’re back for Book 9 and boy is this going to be bad! Not the podcast, cross our saucy little fingers, but the world of War and Peace. It’s been way too long since we heard from that Napoleon chap and we really got the feeling that he wasn’t quite finished last time. Plus we’ve had quite a bit of peace recently, which makes the title of the book quite ominous indeed. Whatever happens we’re in this together, so pour yourself a hot steaming cup of beef tea and join us for Book 9 ..read more

What do you get when you mix the ‘wrong type’ of bees, a sentient half-dressed bear with a penchant for honey and a child with a gun and a really really nice balloon? Why, you get the Season 8 special book episode of WAPIN7, is what you get! And probably an extremely serious concussion which would require immediate medical attention. Onwards! To Ashford Forest in East Sussex – to be precise ..read more

It’s time for the Season 8 Catch-Up Quiz and boy do we have some questions for you! There are pictures of comets, AI-generated nightmare art, varying degrees of slug speed accuracy and of course a question about the Smurfs. How does this all link to book 8 of War and Peace? There’s only one way to find out… Onwards! *Cue Gameshow Music ..read more

The time has finally come – the end of another book is upon us. Gather round slugs, worms, maggots and humans young,  old and slimy as we seamlessly complete character arcs, wrap up storylines, culminate journeys literal and figurative, and generally tie up loose ends in this decisive season finale. The slug square is positively quivering with anticipation, and so should you be too.  Here’s to one more book, and many more to come ..read more

What happens when you add one more side to a love triangle? What happens when one of those sides is an actual slug? A slug who was hell-bent on abducting one of the sides of the square! We promise you this all makes perfect sense. Maybe pour yourself a long drink a take a good slug ..read more

Incredibly attractive as they may be, slugs are typically not known for their speed or for their clever plans. Today that all changes. Prepare to meet the slug who has it all… great looks, sure (like all slugs), but also an incredible mensa level planning intellect, and exclusive access to the fastest transport system this side of Prussia. He’s got everything he needs, except for one thing – a slug bride, but today that all could be about to change ..read more

Why does the Devil have a saucepan son and why are they dancing? What’s wrong with the King’s arms? Why is he also dancing? Why is their world made entirely of cardboard? I wish we could answer those questions but unfortunately we just have more: why is the audience slowly getting naked, why is everyone screaming, will Natasha – or for that fact anyone – ever be happy again? We’re off to the Opera! It’s all over when the Devil breakdances ..read more