Who am I Kidding? For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had these big dreams to do something special, for God. Like, I’m talking seriously making a difference. Kingdom stuff.  And I’ll be honest, some days I can see it happening. Believe me.   But fine, enough of this dreaming thing.  Because…who am I kidding?  Who am I to do that?  Me, this guy, to be used by God?? Come on, don’t be ridiculous.  How can a screwed up person like me, possibly be of any use to God? – the Creator of the universe.  But still, I can’t seem to get rid of this burning de ..read more

Identity Crisis I’ve spent a good chunk of my life wrestling with the answer to the question, “Who am I?” To take it one step further, “Who am I to God?”  Like, what does He actually think of me?  As cliché as it sounds, maybe you’ve asked yourself these questions at some point, or…maybe you haven’t.  I must admit, sometimes I think I’m an alright guy, but sometimes, I’m like yeah, God’s looking down at me, but overall He must be pretty disappointed with what He’s seeing.  But what can you do? Because it’s so hard to manage the tension between who you currently are, and ..read more

I don’t know, sometimes I think God might’ve made a mistake sending Jesus to die for me.  Like, I don’t get it.  I feel like He got me mixed up with the wrong person.  And to tell the truth, maybe it wasn’t worth it.  But then, I guess, that even if I feel I don’t deserve Him, which I don’t, it isn’t really for me to decide. I suppose the most important thing is that Jesus thought I was worth dying for.  I suppose that’s all that should matter really. You know, the fact that He chose to lay down His life for us, when He didn’t have to. The fact that He chose to freely ..read more

The Big Picture How tiring are jigsaw puzzles?  Well, that’s if you’ve ever done one that is.  Don’t you ever just wish that the picture on the box would be exactly what comes out of it, instead of all the individual pieces?  Mmhm, I suppose that would defeat the purpose of doing the puzzle in the first place, wouldn’t it?  Fine, enough about jigsaw puzzles, I don’t even like them anyway.  But… What about life?  Don’t you ever wish that you could see the finished article; the final product; the big picture?  And skip all the “meaningless” stuff in-between ..read more

The Drift Trap Have you ever found yourself just going through the motions?  Feeling drained of the energy and passion you once had? Feeling like you’ve generally been doing all the right things, saying all the right things, experiencing all the right things? But something just feels off?  And you find yourself slowly drifting off course? You feel disconnected; From your relationships, from life, from yourself, from God?  And you think to yourself like, what happened? How did I find myself in this place?  Like I had everything going for me, but now something doesn’t fee ..read more

The Prison of Expectation “Go tell John”…To be continued… Many of us find ourselves trapped in the realm of what we thought God was going to do, how we thought He’d show up, what He’d look like, what He’d do for us. We expect Him to adhere to our own schedule and way of doing things, but then to bail us out when things go sideways. 2020 has undoubtedly been one of the most difficult years we’ve ever faced as individuals, but also as a world. Many things didn’t go according to “our” plan. Unmet expectations, disappointments, regret, confusion, frustration have filled up what had looked like p ..read more

Meant for more Recently I went through a season where I just felt stuck. Nothing particularly bad, but nothing particularly good either. Like the world was still going but life kinda felt like it was put on pause. And I’m questioning God,  “Is this it?” “Is this all you had planned for me?” “Were all those promises you made to me true?” “Did I do something wrong?” The truth is I’m still in that place, knowing you’re meant for more, but feeling like less. Having all of these big dreams about what God might have in store for you but not seeing them come to pass.  Not seeing the resul ..read more

The Other Side of the Struggle Is it always gonna be like this? Will I ever get to the other side? Is there even another side? And if there is , will it be all that I dreamed of? If it isn’t, then what? But if it is… I often find myself trapped in situations where I struggle to see “the silver lining”. I tend to live in that realm for a long time, wondering when or if I’m ever going to get out. It usually starts out with me being frustrated with the struggle. It then comes to a point where I get comfortable with it; with where I am. Seeing all these promises that God says he has for me but not ..read more

What Now? I’ve been “sitting on the fence” for the past few days wondering, “What do I even say to people in a time like this?” “How can I even know what they need in this season?” “And can I give them what they need?” “How can I give them hope, assurance or encouragement when I need it myself?” I’m struggling to figure out the answer to these questions. I feel like I need some of whatever’s being given out.  And to tell the truth it’s still hard to write this. But here goes… Everything that’s been going on has left the world in disarray. One minute everything was fine, the next it wasn ..read more

Am I Enough? (Part 2) In this day and age the spirit of comparison is constantly roaming the streets of our hearts, reminding us of how much better the other person is than us. I struggle with this myself, “I’m good but she/he is better than me at________.” The important thing to remember when this comparison thing comes knocking is that God gives each of us specific talents and different levels of calling. Ephesians 2:10 says: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The other person isn’t better than you, the level of ..read more