A few days ago my son was hanging out with his cousins. They were all in one room watching the tv. one cousin leaves and comes in the other room with the adults. we were having a conversation about our upcoming vacation and the plans that we wish to do when we are there, etc. I go and check on my son and my niece and they were under the computer desk. It was quiet so I thought awkward silence. I asked them what they were doing and they did not say anything at first. I had a feeling something was up.. not sure what so I asked again. They both replied that they were licking each other. My son is ..read more

Thanks for your reply @Astra-RO I haven’t had a chance to speak to Miss 16 about what Mr 14 told me tonight, as much as I would like to ask that question of Miss 16, I don’t want to betray Mr 14’s trust either. Discussing this with anyone is honestly troublesome for me too. Most of my friends are also still friends with my ex (we still share a workplace) and I don’t want others to think I’m throwing him under the bus, despite my ex constantly throwing me under one to anyone who’ll listen. I wasn’t aware of the 1v1 coaching service, I’ll be sure to check it out though. Thanks ..read more

Hey @Lunabear welcome to the community and thanks for sharing what's been happening between you and Miss 16. It sounds like it was so hurtful to hear that Miss 16 did not actually intend to stay at your place but was trying to spare your feelings. Especially after you've tried so hard to connect with her. It's sounds like you're also feeling unsupported in your attempts to reconnect with her, with her father not being encouraging about her having a relationship with you. It makes sense you'd be feeling frustrated and like this is breaking you after repeatedly extending the olive bran ..read more

My first husband and I had three children aged (now) Miss 16, Mr 14 and Miss 13. We have been divorced for five years. I have since remarried in March 2022 & Miss 16 and my new husband don’t get along. Whilst I could easily sit here and blame my ex who has brain washed her, I’m aware my current husband isn’t faultless, nor myself either. I used to have all my kids 60% of the time but since April 2023 Miss 16 has chosen to stay at her fathers., I rarely see her, and generally the only times I do is for her birthday or Christmas - not for any other reason than she always pulls the pin on m ..read more

It’s all too common for parents and carers to be superheroes in the lives of those they support, but then experience massive stress and burnout themselves. This can be particularly difficult as you might have fewer supports to turn to in times of hardship and want to be resilient in the face of your teen’s struggles. It’s totally normal and understandable to feel the pressure when you are looking after someone else, but it’s also so important in those moments to find ways to look after yourself too.   Unfortunately, a lot of self-care tips and strategies thrown around might feel inaccessi ..read more

Thank you! I have already started using the resources you have suggested and they are definitely helping with the over thinking and worry. Many thanks.  ..read more

Hey @Imaleo18 just chiming in to acknowledge how hard it must have been to move your whole life after what happened with your daughter, and to be faced with this situation a couple of years later. It makes sense that you are apprehensive towards the issue, and that you and your husband have different perspectives on whether your daughter should be allowed to date. It makes sense that you are caught between opposing forces and I'm glad to hear that you have been connecting with others for support. It sounds like getting your daughter back into counselling is something that could be he ..read more

No idea what boundaries would even look like as I said dad is not keen on the idea at all and is very old school. She doesn't go to counselling anymore but I think she needs to get back into it even though she doesn't think she needs too. Have only spoke with my mum, old boss and one friend. I don't think my partner has spoke about it with anyone. But it is hard as even though I have spoken to them I feel like they didn't really understand as they hadn't experienced anything like that ..read more

Hey @Imaleo18, Welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing what you’re going through! I can see that things have been exceptionally taxing with your 15 year old daughter. It is understandable that you are feeling scared about letting her date this boy, after everything you had experienced with her when she was 13 years old. I am wondering what boundaries you feel might be important to consider, if your daughter does date this boy?. ReachOut also has a number of informative articles about sex and teenagers, and romantic relationships and teenagers. You might find some of the articles helpful ..read more

Hey @milli95, I'm glad to hear you've found the community a supportive place so far. It definitely sounds like a tricky situation and conversation to navigate but I can really hear how much you care about your daughter's wellbeing. It's really good to hear you've got some self-care strategies and a psychologist to potentially reconnect with.  Has anything helped in the past with the over-thinking and anxiety? One strategy for overthinking you mind find helpful is called "Worry Time", though you might have already tried this. You can read more about it here and ReachOut even has ..read more