Between the viral tweets about girls at summer camp being required to wear T-shirts over their swimsuits (while the boys go shirtless) and the dozens of messages we receive weekly about how to handle double-standard dress codes for girls, we decided to share a brief guide. As you see double-standard dress code rules being enforced against girls and women, keep in mind that we live in a world that sees girls and women as bodies first and people second. When you see someone as a body first, you are likely tempted to try and regulate and monitor that person’s body, which often happens at their ex ..read more

Our first book, More Than a Body, published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, is on shelves Dec. 29, 2020! Pre-order your copy today! Find it anywhere books are sold, including every retailer linked below: Amazon Barnes & Noble Bookshop Books-a-MillionHudsonIndieBoundPowell’sTarget Walmart   Description: Positive body image isn’t believing your body looks good; it is knowing your body is good, regardless of how it looks. How do you feel about your body? Have you ever stayed home from a social activity or other opportunity because of concern about how you looked? Have you ever passed jud ..read more

As singing icon Adele is being celebrated worldwide for her significant weight loss, the body positivity world is grappling with what it means when a “full-figured” icon no longer fits the bill. That’s a lot of responsibility, and she never asked for it. Without posting any side-by-side comparison pics or discussing her health or her strategies for undergoing a “body transformation,” Adele has become an involuntary before-and-after image in our collective consciousness. Whether it is body positivity advocates who championed her “before” body or everyone else fawning over her “after,” both repr ..read more

By Lexie Kite, Ph.D. One of the biggest barriers many women face when working to improve their body image and heal their relationship with their bodies is the judgment and rejection they fear from their romantic partners. This seems to be particularly true for women in heterosexual relationships who have grown up viewing and monitoring their bodies through a sexualized male perspective. When women are objectified and valued primarily as things to be looked at and consumed (visually or physically) in media and among people around us, it is not only men that learn to view women as parts and judg ..read more

By Lindsay and Lexie Kite, PhD So many people have been writing and asking us to weigh in on the Super Bowl halftime headline about whether the performances were empowering or objectifying. (You know that question is generally our forte!) But our input here is more nuanced than some might expect. In summary: Shakira’s and J-Lo’s performance wasn’t either empowering or objectifying — it was both. It had to be both, and it has always been both. It’s the nature of the game. Zoom in to this weekend’s performance and you’ll see two women — Jennifer Lopez and Shakira — who are extraordinarily power ..read more

By Lexie Kite, Ph.D. Aunt Lindsay, 2-year-old Logan, and Mama Lexie Some of the most frequent questions we’re asked about body image revolve around teaching and raising young girls. The reasons why are obvious: It is extremely difficult to live in a female body, let alone raise girls growing up in this wildly objectifying world. Far too often, girls grow up being taught that they are to be looked at above all else. It doesn’t always happen so explicitly, but it happens consistently and implicitly if your eyes are open. We talk to little girls about their pretty dresses and hair. Their toys a ..read more

By Lindsay Kite, PhD How did wearing a bikini become the gold standard for demonstrating body positivity? Yes, every body is a bikini body if that’s what you really want to wear, but why are two-piece swimsuits (and posting pictures of ourselves in them online) now the ultimate signifier of female confidence? Why have so many of us bought into the idea that wearing a bikini equals loving your body and loving your body equals wearing a bikini? We would argue it’s the same reason so many of us struggle with low self-esteem and negative body image in the first place: we are defined by our bodies ..read more

By Lexie Kite, Ph.D. I know a 12-year-old girl who is the embodiment of our famous Beauty Redefined mantra: My body is an instrument, not an ornament. She is kind, innocent, active, and largely free from the burden of living to be looked at that is placed upon women’s shoulders around the age of puberty. Today, that girl joined Instagram. When I think about her scrolling through the explore page, I envision her being shoved from childhood into adulthood, sinking in a pool of dehumanizing lessons with every scroll: You exist for others’ viewing pleasure. Your happiness and self-worth is direct ..read more

By Lexie Kite, PhD and Lindsay Kite, PhD Church Prom Dress Code Boys: Tie and button shirt required. No low-rider pants. Girls: Sleeves should cover the shoulder and top of the arm. No cleavage showing. No bras or bra straps showing through sheer fabrics. No low necklines in the front or back. No open, sheer, bare lace-ups in front or back. No midriff showing with arms raised while dancing. No tight or revealing clothes of any kind. No sheer, lacey or see-through fabric in areas that should otherwise be covered. Shoulders included. Hems should be no shorter than … (and so, so much mo ..read more

By Lindsay Kite, Ph.D. The most-liked pics of women on Instagram are the body-baring ones. When lifestyle bloggers post casual swimsuit pics of themselves in front of a cool brick wall — looking off to the side, toes turned inward, hips pushed back to subtly emphasize a “thigh gap”; when Instagrammers smile at the camera in their underwear, hunched just slightly to reveal skin folds, with captions celebrating body positivity; when a new mom with a big following post pics of her not-quite-as-flat (but almost!) abs while claiming bravery about embracing her new post-partum body on her jo ..read more