It's a snow day in my city... something that hasn't happened in 25 years. This means many things, but one thing is that all of the schools are shut down today and tomorrow because of the "worst spring blizzard in decades". After living through the worst winter also in decades, trudging through the snow in subarctic temperatures daily to my car to drive to work on icy roads, I feel like I've been given a surreal gift -- two days of living outside of normal. My educator self can abandon her routine for the next few days and do whatever she wants. Although I like my job, I wel ..read more

     My son turned 18 two days ago, and I've been walking around in a bit of a surreal state ever since, which is kind've baffling to me. I mean, I knew this day was coming. Things crept deliberately and consistently towards it, like they always do. Life happened, as it always does, and here we are... he is now 18, and I am now 53. It all makes sense because it happened the way it's supposed to happen. But I'm baffled nonetheless. The boy grew up. It wasn't an instantaneous process. So why does it feel like it was? Why does it feel like it was just last week that I was cudd ..read more

     Well it's that time of year again... Hallmark Movie time. For me anyway. I've decided to explore my relationship with this curious thing- the hallmark movie- one that I think falls into the love/hate camp and that I can't seem to give up just yet.      To date, I have seen dozens, and then more dozens, of hallmark movies. This has happened over the past five years or so. I was never into these shows in the past, didn't even really know they existed, but for some reason, discovered them later in life. It probably started innocently enough one day with a lazy p ..read more

     I'm reading "Awakening the Buddha Within" right now and I came across a part in the book the other day that resonated with me, "In Buddhism, there is a rather unique word that translates as 'suchness'. It means vital, living truth itself, here and now, right before our very eyes-- the 'isness' of things exactly as they are" (69). The author goes on to talk about finding the place within ourselves that is "the ultimate refuge, the ultimate practice of letting go-- the art of allowing things to be as they are" (70). Such a simple idea, to allow things to be as they are, and y ..read more

        I had a disturbing thing happen to me recently. My heart was pulled from my chest, toyed with, lightly bruised and then put back in its place to go on with life as usual. I was a willing participant in this, I will admit, in the sense that I opened the door to my heart after keeping it shut for a few years, allowing entry to the eventual bruiser. I let him in, so I guess that was a risk I took. That's the thing about risks-- they're risky. You really have no guarantees when you take a risk how things will turn out in the end. One possibility is the end result w ..read more

    I turned fifty-three two days ago and have been "adjusting" to this, like I've adjusted to my new age every year for the past few years. It's like putting on a pair of jeans that don't quite fit right, struggling to pull them over my hips and noticing a resistance. Noticing the tugging that is required to make it happen. Noticing the tightness as I pull up the zipper. Noticing the discomfort. I stand there in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom looking at the me in too-tight jeans and wondering, "How did this happen?" and, "What can I do to make it go away?"  ..read more

     Over the past decade, Valentine's Day has always been a bit of a tricky thing for me. I never really know how to celebrate it, being a single woman, so I usually don't celebrate it. I know I could use this day to focus on all the other kinds of "love" that I have in my life, and celebrate those loving relationships, but I don't do that because to me, Valentine's Day isn't about other kinds of love; it's about romantic love. It's about being grateful for the intimate partner you have, and taking the time to make sure they know somehow, in your own special, meaningful way. Wh ..read more

     I have a few routines and traditions during the holiday season, and one of them is to watch "It's a Wonderful Life". I'm not really sure when this started. It wasn't a tradition in our house growing up. It was something I grabbed onto I think in my late 20s, and it stuck around. Truth be told, it more than stuck around. It's not just a thing I do because I'm supposed to, or because I started it, therefore need to continue it. No, it's something I do because it has meaning for me, because it reminds me of things that matter, and because it fills me up with warm, fuzzy, lovin ..read more

     Today is November 11th, Remembrance Day, and a fitting day to write about my father, who served in the Canadian Armed Forces for 31 years. Every year, I watch the Remembrance Day ceremony on tv on CBC, and though I think of current events and past veterans, it is my father who takes center stage for me in my mind on that day. He is the main character, the principal hero in his crisply pressed military uniform, with his stripes and medals, standing proudly, representing his country and all those values that he held and continues to hold dearly.     My father was bo ..read more

    I've decided to go for year two of my Onewinelesswoman experiment, and have been surprised at how difficult it has been so far. I think I thought it would be easier than this, mostly because I already had a year under my belt, so wouldn't the second year just be more of the same? Wasn't I now a pro of sorts, an expert at navigating sparkly water drinking in a world where the cups runneth over with all things alcohol? Wouldn't I just get better and better at this way of doing things? Wouldn't I forget about the wine? Wouldn't the moderation fantasy disappear, replaced by a healthy ..read more