I feel I have started to get some confidence and security with my alcohol free life. I’m still attending meetings and absolutely loving it. I’m enjoying tapping into the spiritual side of things and understanding it more than my previous sobriety journey. I’ve been away in the Philippines working for 10 days and it’s taken me a while to just to life on UK time and recover from the long journey both ways. It was an absolutely brilliant experience and I am so very grateful to have had the opportunity to go out there. And doing it sober was the icing on the cake. I’m taking things slowly this ti ..read more

I’m going to start by being totally honest because this blog is partly for me to journal what’s going on and there is nothing to gain by pretending to myself and others that things are going swimmingly. On Wednesday evening I had a drink. A few glasses of wine at the work ‘do’ after our ‘away day’. I’d given three presentations, had planned the day and was really happy with how it all went. Sat around long tables with 17 others, the wine was poured and I drank. I don’t know why. I didn’t even really enjoy the actual drink itself. But I did it and yesterday I felt terrible. I was disappointed ..read more

Photo by Yusuf Evli Yesterday was my first ‘sober social’ occasion this time around. I was dreading it. I hosted about 22 people at our house as a farewell to my cousin and family who are heading home to North Carolina tomorrow. I am super close with my cousin and his wife; they are like my brother and sister. I have also always drank with them. We spend 3 to 4 weeks with them when we head out to visit and it includes drinking every day. Initially I struggled. Everyone arrived at 3pm. It was busy and it was LOUD! No one had started drinking at that point so I can only assume my anxiety around ..read more

Photo from recent holiday with family Day 8 today. I have completed a week without drinking alcohol and I am really proud of myself. I feel like something is shifting for me again this time round and I’m hopeful. I went to attend an AA meeting last night with my cousin. I was super nervous but when we arrived, there was a lady sat outside. She said it had been cancelled and there was no one else there. All a bit strange. It’s clearly a very very quiet meeting anyway and I suspect one that is not going to work for me. I will find another though. I need to at least give it a chance to help and s ..read more

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash I met with my cousin today. He started attending AA meetings 4 mths ago. He’s a few years younger than me and further down the road that I have reached (yet) in terms of where an addiction to alcohol can lead us to, but not much further. It’s a progressive pathway and I could clearly see where I would be now if I hadn’t stopped in 2019 and where I’ll be if I don’t take my decision to stop again seriously. It was so good to have an open and honest conversation with him and with no judgement and total understanding. I don’t really have anyone locally that I can ..read more

Just a random photo of a lake in our local park Struggled a little yesterday evening and found myself in ‘persuasion mode’. We really are very clever at feeding ourselves bullshit to have the excuse and permission to drink! I didn’t, thankfully, and this morning I am so grateful for that. It has also reminded me of how powerful my thoughts can be when it comes to my addiction to alcohol and how fabulous it feels each time I ignore them and resist. It was good to have that reminder. So, today I have a few plans but luckily no social engagements. I have a yoga class at 11am and then I’m planning ..read more

Photo by Nick Seagrave on Unsplash I’m still concerned that I’m not taking this as seriously as I did the last time but maybe that’s because this time I have a map and I know the route. Although everyone’s journey to achieve and maintain sobriety is very individual, I found there were definite road signs and sights we all reached at some point in the journey. Common themes that appeared in blogs which helped build connections and reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. That was the most difficult emotion I dealt with in the first few days. I felt totally alone and like an outcast because ..read more

Quick check in as I start my day. I am nervous and excited (and also slightly sick with the cumulative effects of drinking poison for a while). Today is 11/7/23 and I’m really hoping it becomes my memorable soberversary date. For now it’s about one day at a time, or one hour if that’s what it takes. I want this so much and I’m scared I can’t do it. Small steps. Claire x ..read more

This is me Three years and 7 months on from my first day one, including the last 15 months drinking again … My name is Imogen, and I am … um, erm, … uh, … maybe an alcoholic, maybe not, very much addicted to alcohol (no shame here, news flash, it’s addictive) … errr .. I use it for a variety of emotions, I find it incredibly difficult to live without .. that includes ‘thinking’ about it even if I’m not doing it … So what am I? Do I name it ? If it helps, yes! However for me it isn’t an illness or a disease, it’s not something I was born with and … run away now if you want to feel this has been ..read more

Okay, so here I am, laying it on the line. I have had alcohol. I’m not happy about it and it’s taken me a while to get brave and own up on here. I drank on two separate occasions since Jan 1st. One was a lot! The other two glasses. Let me start by saying I’m not proud of it, I don’t suddenly believe I can moderate booze and I absolutely don’t want this to cause a wobble for anyone else newly sober! However, I am not dwelling on it. I did not allow either time lead me spiralling downward into more and more drinking. I meditated a lot and journaled about how awful it made me feel physically and ..read more