God I love this photograph. The literal description of this image is a still drunk from the night before dirty Australian backpacker sitting outside on the sunny morning streets of Edinburgh in some rotten old doorway, stockings ripped, bra just hanging off, smoke ablaze bummed from the no named stranger with the happy face whom also was lingering in the gutter. Unsubtle carton of orange juice cuddled up to its uncapped vodka bottle, a mix in your mouth sort of cocktail. Yesterdays makeup unapologetically smeared. I love it. This weekend brought me into my 6 month of sobriety! Fucking WOOOO ..read more

Good morning to you, readers of WordPress. In today’s diary entry I wish to divulge you all with my current headspace and list out my new intentions. Although this has been my sober diary I have been doing some major mental gardening and since this is a positive side effect of my sobriety I must record it. Also typing it out might help me view my tangled thoughts in a more strategic layed out fashion. Since losing my boozy crutch (alcohol) earlier this year, I have for the first time in my adult life, been left to my own devices when dealing with stress, anxiety and my ever rolling thoughts ..read more

Up and down the rabbit hole Her heart an awful flutter From elated peace and joy To thoughts that make you shudder A visionary yes it’s true Though execution lacking Her mind on loop and stop, repeat The worries they just keep stacking So send her to the looney bin Lets give her drugs, she’s sick Lock her up, throw out the key That will do the trick Though cold and dim and very quite Her mind at peace at last This suppression brings her still Hush the demons from the past Perhaps someday a light will shine Her minds flowers begin to grow Can she keep bad thoughts at bay Alas she will never kno ..read more

The term Alcoholic and the definition of Alcoholic or Alcoholism is annoyingly loose. Alcoholism, also known as alcohol use disorder, is, broadly, any drinking of alcohol that results in mental or physical health problems. If you should ask any member of my family if the amount that I drink makes me an ‘Alcoholic’ you would receive a firm NO. If you should ask my doctor if the amount I drink makes me an ‘Alcoholic’ you would receive a firm YES. But for me it is no specific amount nor style or type that defines my Alcoholism but simply the way it makes me feel and the effect it had taken ove ..read more

Hello out there ever elusive world of mine! Yesterday I clocked the big 3 months sober!! I must say it feels like so so much longer. Not because of the sense of struggle it is in fact due to the opposite. In a very strange and unexpected turn of events, I really have been cruising through which is in total contrast to all other failed attempts. I think I was building up to a point and was finally really just sick of my own shit and my whole being was so exhausted of the fight. The fight with myself trying to justify every additional unnecessary drink. The fight with my fiance after I was a st ..read more

Shout out and very big thank you to MsNewLeaf https://msnewleaf.com/ for my nomination! A bit of fun to get to know each other! The Liebster (NOT Lobster, auto-correct!) award is something fun bloggers give to each other “[t]he Liebster Award is an award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.” RULES Thank the blogger who nominated you, and provide a link ..read more

Back in my Backpacker Days Hello new world! I hope you are all trooping along in whatever new curciumstances you find yourself under in this COVID world. I myself have been on Maturnity Leave since Oct 2019 so I have been hiding at home with my new baby anyways so I am lucky enough to have not felt the impact as many have. Anyway without sounding too unsympathetic I am not here today to talk COVID, I am sick of it quite frankly. Today I have made myself stop and write as I am extremely happy to say I have just been too busy to sit down and blog for weeks now! Why is this a good thing? Well sin ..read more

Isn’t it funny when you build yourself up to some emotional pinticale as if it’s the final scene of a heart pounding romantic thriller and there is simply no life after this moment. Nothing is more important. Nothing further matters anymore. Then after you pass this razor sharp prefaces you breath out a sigh relief and even feel a little bit of embarrassment at the hype you worked yourself up to. This is me after my last blog… It was an epic expose about this one particularly heavy night/weekend of partying in my early life. It is actually a rather sad story now that I have seen it posted and ..read more

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