Recovering from an addiction is tough enough, and when you throw in the tremendous responsibilities of motherhood, it can seem like an impossible challenge. When I finally sought help for my alcohol addiction, I was a single mom with three young children. I didn't want to stop drinking, but I was afraid I would lose my kids. I didn’t have the luxury of going to a treatment program, so I detoxed at home. I never knew how dangerous it was to detox without any help or how going to a treatment program would have been so much easier for my kids and me. For the first ninety days, I craved al ..read more

  “To love an addict is to run out of tears.” ~ Sandy Swenson I was visiting my daughter who was going to school in Paris, and we decided to take a couple of days and head down the south of France. It was Mother’s Day, and we were sitting in a café in Monaco enjoying the most exquisite French pastries and espresso. I thought to myself, “Wow, pinch me! I’m in Monaco for Mother’s Day with my beautiful daughter. Life doesn’t get much better than this!” Well, that sweet moment suddenly collided with my cell phone ringing with a call from my former husband. I figured it couldn’t be good news b ..read more

I was taking a new exercise class yesterday and I knew it was going to be a big stretch for me.  Many intimidating pieces of exercise equipment were glaring at me. Large weights, steps stacked high, and huge ropes. I looked around to assess all the other class members and I was sure they were all much stronger, thinner, more experienced.  As I continued to make-up these stories in my head my fear grew and I doubted my ability. I often tell my clients when they are in fear-based thinking, “you are making up a story about the future so you might as well make up a good story.”  I d ..read more

  From Chapter 8 of My New Book:  When All Else Fails Drink Coffee - For Women Who Are Overworked, Underpaid, and Too Tired To Get Laid Get a Backbone Instead of a Wishbone - Say “NO!”  "Once upon a time a woman said “f*ck this shit” and she lived happily ever after.” ~ Author unknown  Zilch, Nada. Niet. Nein. No! Practice saying “No” or even better, “Hell No!” and stand up for your bad self. We are just too damn sweet, accommodating, and appeasing, and sometimes, we act like a pushover. Tell the bake sale women that your oven has a rat problem. Call in dead to work. Tell ..read more

How to Enjoy the Holidays Booze-free for Moms While Eleven Pipers are Piping and Ten Lords a Leaping may be all having a great time; as moms, during the holiday season, we may feel more like Seven Swans a Swimming upstream in rough waters.  Due to all the high-stress and expectations of others, and ourselves we may feel more like the Grinch than Jolly Old St. Nick. While it would be nice to have the Eight Maids a Milking arrive at your door to help with the long to-do-list, it is possible to enjoy the holidays without them. Here is a self-care plan to help you not just survive the holiday ..read more

 Mommy's Going to Treatment What to Say to the Kids The effects of a parent's addiction on a child can be devastating and going to treatment can be the best gift a parent can give their kids. Knowing how to talk to your kids about your addiction and going to treatment can be as tricky as trying to figure out what to tell your kids about the birds and the bees. Both situations require age-appropriate information and answering their questions with age-appropriate responses. Here’s what not to do! When I decided to get some help for my alcoholism, I sat my three small children down on the c ..read more

The Gifts of Sobriety What I Didn't Know About Recovery Before I Got Sober While I was still drinking  I had no idea what it would be like to be sober.  In the brief moments I contemplated not drinking, I thought all the fun would stop and I'd be sentenced to a life of misery without alcohol.  My delusional thinking told me everything was just fine when in reality, I had a lot of shame about my behaviors while under the influence of alcohol.  No one told me how incredible life in recovery would be. Here are just a few of the many gifts of sobriety I didn't know which w ..read more

  Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving. Erma Bombeck Guilt is the constant companion of the alcoholic or addict, maybe even more so for a mom. Every mother feels guilt about her parenting from time to time. That’s doubly true for women who have created drama and caused distress for their children by drinking or using—possibly inflicting psychological damage. Here’s one story from my past that still makes me cringe. Due to my drinking, I was separated from my husband but was still living in my beautiful Northern California home with my three children, ages two, five, and eight. I was the t ..read more

Compassion in Recovery: Perspectives to Keep in Mind by  RUTA STERNBERGS, Ed. D., Psy. D., CADC-II What is compassion in recovery? The dictionary defines compassion as the “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” In recovery, it is the extension of that same empathy and concern towards oneself, which means treating oneself with the same level of kindness and respect that one would show others in their time of need. As individuals come out of their drug and alcohol addiction and realize the full impact of their past mistakes, it’s tempting for them to fee ..read more

Recently I attended an intervention training with the internationally acclaimed interventionist, Ken Seeley.  The training was outstanding and I learned some new tools, which have helped me tremendously with the interventions I’ve done for mothers.  Here is a great article he wrote. Helpful Guide When Planning an Intervention for a Loved One By Ken Seeley, Founder of Ken Seeley Communities Addiction can be absolutely brutal to witness in a loved one. Each day you see the cumulative effects of drugs or alcohol stealing away the person you know and love. As they spiral deeper into ..read more