Priest Suffers Crisis of Faith After Hearing Christian Ska Band
The Hard Times » Ska
by Matt Husser
5d ago
MINNEAPOLIS — Local priest Pastor Stephen Kramer is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after hearing Christian ska band Skadom and Gomhorna play for his congregation, members of his church confirmed. “War, famine, disease—I’ve always been able to reconcile these terrible things as part of God’s unknowable plan, but when I heard that Christian ska music it was so horrific it made me question if the Almighty loves us, or even exists at all,” said Pastor Kramer, tossing his bible in a trash can. “All those heavy metal bands are satanic, but they at least speak to a darker side of the human co ..read more
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Dry Cleaning Bill Bankrupts Swing Revival Band
The Hard Times » Ska
by Robert John Scucci
1w ago
NEW YORK – Up-and-coming swing revival band The Boofing Sleuthers are ready to call it quits after mounting dry-cleaning bills wiped out their bottom line, disappointed managers and accountants confirmed. “The swing revival pretty much died out in the mid-’90s, so when we busted out onto the scene with throwback tunes like ‘Daddy Needs Three Fingers of Buttermilk,’ we pretty much cornered the market,” said frontman Dax ‘Babytooth’ McCallister. “We were packing out clubs and making bank, but nobody told us that the regular maintenance and upkeep of 12 zoot suits would eat up our entire profit m ..read more
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Every Rx Bandits Album Ranked Worst To Best
The Hard Times » Ska
by Scott Waldman
3M ago
The impossible to define, label, categorize, or speak ill of the band known as Rx Bandits have a sterling catalog that is truly amazing sans any hyperbole, but what is even more incredible is that a formerly straight-up, run-of-the-mill third-wave ska-punk act is now a hipster-approved iconic group of gentlemen… Much respect to ‘em, but an ample amount of disrespect to their home, Orange County, the birthplace of the alt-right and general douchiness! Thankfully the band’s longtime producer and collaborator is the antithesis of a douche. Mr. F perfectly captured the band in different ways on va ..read more
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Every Rocket From the Crypt Album Ranked Worst To Best
The Hard Times » Ska
by Scott Waldman
3M ago
Despite what many of you may think, blink-182 is not the only band from San Diego, and while your favorite band and ours known as Rocket from the Crypt (RFTC if you’re nasty) didn’t infect the mainstream like the aforementioned pop-punk three-piece, they honestly should’ve. RFTC deserve lots of acclaim for their recorded and live musical contributions that just emanate sweat and grit. Today we rank their seven studio album catalog from worst to best, so get ready to scowl at our 100% SUBJECTIVE assessment! Fun fact: If you got an RFTC tattoo in the ‘90s, you were guaranteed free admission to t ..read more
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Ska Legends Mustard Plug Team Up With AdamAndEve.com for Worst Merch Idea Ever
The Hard Times » Ska
by Freelancer
4M ago
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Legendary ska act Mustard Plug are combining forces with adult products behemoth Adam & Eve to collaborate on the most obvious merch item possible, disgusted sex toy buyers noticed. “Everyone knows ska fans are almost exclusively into assplay, so teaming up with Mustard Plug to create a yellow, mustard-bottle shaped butt plug that can also store 8 ounces of your favorite condiments makes perfect sense,” said Evelyn Liddow, spokesperson and Head of Ska Outreach for Adam & Eve. “I’ve personally been trying to work with Mustard Plug for years and they finally gave in ..read more
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Concert Promoter Releases Wolves on Stage to Thin Out Overpopulated Ska Band
The Hard Times » Ska
by Matt Husser
5M ago
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Local concert promoter Will Braun made the decision to release wolves on stage at local ska band Willy Honka and the Skacolate Factory for population control reasons, sources confirmed. “We don’t take the decision to release wolves lightly, but once you see three french horn players take the stage, you know that the band’s population has become unsustainable,” said Braun, releasing a mating pair of gray wolves backstage. “Over time, the wolves will selectively pick off the weakest musicians, ensuring it can survive in the long term. We may sadly lose a few tuba playe ..read more
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Billy Joel Can Suck It: The 50 Best Songs From Long Island Bands
The Hard Times » Ska
by Bobby Korec
6M ago
Long Island has a lot going for it. It’s got a couple of beaches, bagels, and more emo bands per capita than anywhere else in the world, including the Midwest. And it really doesn’t get enough credit for coming out with remarkable music in general. That’s why we ranked the top 50 songs written by bands from the most populous island in America. And let’s get this out of the way early. We aren’t including Brand New. We know they are from Long Island, but we aren’t putting them on this list. They know what happened, you know what happened. There are plenty of other bands to talk about. We won’t w ..read more
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Missed Skapportunities: Top 15 Ska Bands Without Pun Names, And How They Could Have Done Better
The Hard Times » Ska
by Matt McInerney
6M ago
Imagine the thrill of naming your band—dusting off that old notebook jam-packed full of names, a world full of possibilities. I’m sure there are some awe-inspiring gems in there… but that doesn’t make them ska-inspring. When it comes to naming a ska band, there are some fucking rules. Actually, just one: give us those puns! You may pretend to cringe, but secretly we know you’re spamming your friends anytime you think of a “clever” portmanteau. You yearn for names like The Skatalites or The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. You want to see “ska,” “brass,” or “tone” forcefully crammed into a word, no mat ..read more
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It’s National Ska Day Today, and You Can’t Prove It Isn’t
The Hard Times » Ska
by Rick Homuth
7M ago
Happy National Ska Day, everyone! That’s right, today we’re commemorating everyone’s favorite Afro-Caribbean-turned-suburban-American horn orgy, ska music! And, by the way, there’s no point in Googling “National Ska Day,” because it’s a real thing, and has been for a long time. But even if it wasn’t — you have no way of proving it. Alright, let’s get this brasstravaganza started, shall we? First off, let’s take a moment to acknowledge ska roots. Sure, we’re told there’s something involving black people in England or whatever, but how boring is that? You remember Rocky “Spit Valve” McGill from ..read more
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Man Relieved Sounds of Trumpets Echoing Through Town is Start of Apocalypse, Not Some Ska Band
The Hard Times » Ska
by Chris Bowen
7M ago
CAPE MAY, N.J. — Local Punk Steve Tillman’s nerves were quickly put to ease recently after realizing the trumpets he heard blaring were merely angels sounding off the end of the world and not a band playing ska music, repenting sources report. “I was at my apartment taking a piss when all of a sudden I could hear trumpets blasting as if they were right outside my window,” Tillman explained, adding he lives across the street from a venue that books “annoying” bands all the time. “The first thought I had was, ‘Goddamnit. It’s my only day off this week, and now I gotta hear shitty ska music at 8 ..read more
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