It’s just too scary, right? You walk into a crowded room and see those fancy people. They’re standing around flaunting their social skills.  They’re making small talk, meeting new people, and building relationships. Everyone loves them. People watch from a distance and think to themselves, “I wish I was like that.” I bet it’s crossed your mind too. After all, being social and able to talk to new people is the fastest way to new relationships.  How else do you let people into who you are or share your life with others? But, walking into a crowded room and striking up a ..read more

So many of us miss out on the joys of our dream life simply because we’re too anxious or worried about things beyond our control. Instead of spending our time finding motivation and disciplining ourselves to reach the dreams that we have, we waste time worrying about questions we have no way of answering. We ponder the “What if…” questions that spiral on without end, instead of the “How can I…” questions that lead to action. My hope this month was to equip you with skills that will help you attain the encouragement you need to pursue your dreams, despite your anxiety and fear. E ..read more

To overcome social anxiety, you must overcome your negative thoughts. You must take control of your thoughts and direct them in an honest direction. The best way I like to do this is by using a tool I call The Truth Test.   For more resources and tips for managing your social anxiety, visit my Social Anxiety Resources Page. Here’s how the Truth Test works  When a negative thought jumps into your mind, it often creates a snowball effect of additional negative thoughts.  The first thing you have to do is stop those thoughts from spiraling out of control.   To d ..read more

When you experience social anxiety in a crowd, it’s frightening, right? Walking through the crowd you see all those people. They’re standing around flaunting their social skills.  They’re making small talk, meeting new people, and building relationships. Everyone loves them. People watch from a distance and think to themselves, “I wish I was like that.” I bet it’s crossed your mind too. After all, being social and able to talk to new people is the fastest way to new relationships.  How else do you let people into who you are or share your life with others? But walking into a cro ..read more

It happens to all of us. After reading the top blog posts on how to build your self-confidence, we go out there and give it a shot. We take every tip, shortcut, and strategy we can find and convince ourselves that this is all we need to succeed. But, instead of more self-confidence, we get more anxious and forget everything we tried to memorize. It feels horrible. Instead of feeling like an equal with our conversation companions, we’re lost in our thoughts, trying to find words to say and hoping we don’t look as foolish as we feel. The good news is that it do ..read more

There I was, standing on the first tee at one of the biggest golf tournaments of my life… anxiety breathing. You know the feeling. Shallow breathing, heart racing, beginning to sweat. I couldn’t get a satisfying breath. To this point, I’d played a lot of golf tournaments, but never something like this.  This was the All-County tournament.  If I did well here, I’d play in the All-State tournament as one of the best junior golfers from Nassau County. All the top-ranked junior golfers in Nassau County were there. We were all vying for the All-County Athlete distinction. I was feeling th ..read more

That “New Year, New You” saying gets us every time, doesn’t it? We make New Year resolutions, set goals, and make plans to do bigger and better things in the new year. Somewhere along the way, we end up struggling.  Our progress slows down, and we quit before reaching success. We chalk it up to life, work, family, and other things.  Once we drop the ball, we rarely attempt to pick it back up again.  Even if we do, it’s never with the same enthusiasm. So what are we to do? How can we make sure we don’t drop the ball?  And if we do, how can we pick it up a ..read more

In 2015, I wrote my first public annual review.  It recounted the good and bad of the past year and plans for the next. For 2016, I’m doing things a little differently. Besides answering the same 3 questions: What went well in 2016 What didn’t go well in 2016 What I’m working toward next year I’m picking a personal theme to anchor me throughout next year. This theme will help me define my goals and strategies to accomplish those goals.  I hope my theme will become part of my daily life and guide me to conquer more of my fears. I’ll tell you m ..read more

You know that feeling you get after you step out of your comfort zone? When you decide that you want to come out of your shell and push yourself to take part in the conversation.  Then, after sharing your comments and ideas, you realize it. Everyone’s eyes are on you and you can tell from the expressions on their faces… They disagree with everything you’re saying,  dislike your outfit, hate your hair, and have determined that you’re some kind of fool. At least, that’s how we feel sometimes, right? Judged. Feeling judged is demoralizing.  Sometimes judgme ..read more

If you’re like me, you’ve turned to Google time and time again to answer one specific question… How do I fight social anxiety? The search results often give you a list of things you can do to work on your social anxiety.  Some say find a good self-help book or suggest medication and therapy.  Other results say gradually exposing yourself to bigger fears.  The common thread is that most of the results want you to take some kind of action. But the one thing that seems to be missing from these articles is how to prepare yourself before you ta ..read more