Breakthrough ..read more

man is crying on his knees because he has run out of energy From the moment I got ME/CFS I have been met with chronic sense of failure. Failure at not being able to complete my daily tasks of living…failure at not being able to meet my social obligations…failure at not being able to meet my professional obligations….failure at not being able to meet my physical activities plans. I would start going through a day and then just crash into the wall stop what I was doing and get into bed. I would want to maintain relationships which I needed only to run out of energy right before the event forcing ..read more

The workings of the human body systems Today’s medicine the western orthodox kind has grown to be very limited and refuses to acknowledge that the body especially to be able to treat complex diseases (diseases that fall in between the cracks) needs to be viewed through the systems in the body not just the treatment of symptoms. ME/CFS is that illness. The one that is complex, falls in between the cracks of “normal medicine”. It is the one that keeps us going from one specialist to the next only to be faced with confused or bored faces of doctors that don’t know how to treatment. The next step ..read more

I am as familiar with anger as with anxiety and fear. I have felt furious at having acquired this illness and how it has taken over me life. Angry at going from doctor to doctor and not having them know what ME/CFS. Angry at the blank faces that I see when I say I have ME/CFS to friends and family. Angry at people who don’t believe me. Angry because there are hardly any well proven treatments and there is no cure for this illness. Recently, our usual feelings of anger have been compound COVID-19. Angry at being shut into our apartments not because of illness but because the government says so ..read more

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My life before I got ME/CFS was very active. Running around a mile a minute, I took no breaks, and I push to move as quickly as I good juggling many balls. After I grew ill, I crashed into a wall and was no longer able to live the life which I had before. It was time to learn to live differently, but to still live a full life. I believe that life is ready to teach the lessons which you need to most. I just had to slow down and listen. Lying on my back for two years and counting I have had time for nothing but listening. Life was telling me to change the very foundation on which I built myself ..read more

Most recently, I have been struggling more than usual with my illness. I find myself growing inpatient and wondering if I can re-enter the world with everyone else after the shelter in place is lifted. I worry about being left behind once again in my isolation even after everyone returns to their active lives. I am on my third treatment option with much money spent for little improvement. It really feels like the struggle of my life to get back to health. As the picture shows, trying to push a very large stone up a hill. I strive to stay positive because that is essential for my recovery, I a ..read more

I have been through B12 treatment which helped a little and valtrex treatment which did not work . I am in the process of seeing whether being treated with disulfram drug is a good fit. My ME/CFS doctor recommended it. I went to a lyme disease specialist (not sure why but I trust my ME/CFS doctor. The specialist said that disulfram was not right for me. He took some more tests and he and my ME/CFS doctor will talk to see whether I will get the treatment with disulfram or not. In the meantime as I was reading through more and more ME/CFS books scientific articles and clinical trials I came acr ..read more

Within the cycle of my ME/CFS, I can get into a “funk” an existential crisis. During these times my thinking process begins to spin out of control with negative thoughts such as I will never get better, I will never be able to get back to my profession, I am just not strong enough. I will be disabled for the rest of my life and never accomplish what I have set out to accomplish. Spinning downward into a place of self – doubt and doubt in life. I was having several of these days in a row when I came across a “Practice of Gratitude Chant” during my daily Zen sitting. I recited the chant along w ..read more

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