We tend to live our lives like gerbils on a wheel, going round and round but really going nowhere. Day in and day out, same old, same old, fall into bed exhausted and wondering what did I do today? More ..read more

I believe everyone has the right to be told once that they can’t be fixed. It is the physician’s job to compassionately and honestly give that information...   More ..read more

I had someone ask me "Why do all people with dementia feel someone is out to get them?" My answer—not all people with dementia feel or react like someone is out to get them. There is no one size fits all when it comes to dementia. Just like all human beings are different, so is each expression of dementia different. Dementia is not a disease in itself. It is a symptom and that symptom originates in many different diseases.  Most diseases other than dementia follow consistent patterns and have particular treatment courses — a "take two and your headache will probably go away" kind of proto ..read more

People don’t die like they do in the movies. Mom is not going not going to say some profound words, close her eyes and be dead... More ..read more

Taking care of someone who is at the end of life is different from taking care of someone who is going to get better, BUT most people don’t know this—-including most healthcare professionals. Because of the difference in care for end of life, it is important that healthcare workers have special training in end of life care before they begin caring for patients. More ..read more

I think a big part of grieving is loneliness. Loneliness for our person who has left us but also aloneness in our day to day activities... More ..read more

We are born, we experience and then we die. There are a lot of emotions when we are born (joy, anticipation, pride, throw in some fear but not too much). All of these emotions are experienced by those around us. We, the newborn, are busy adjusting to this new way of living. There are a lot of emotions when we are dying (frustration, regret, sadness, and again fear, but more fear than when we arrived). During the days, hours and minutes preceding death, again the activity is centered on others. We are busy assessing our lives and how we spent our time here living. The space between birth and de ..read more

Denial. Denial by the person with a life threatening illness, denial by the caregiver, and I’ll even add denial by some attending physicians. Denial is often the reaction to diseases that have reached the point of not being fixable. It can’t be me. It can’t be my special person. The doctors are wrong. If we do everything the physician recommends, we’ll be fine. If we do all the “right things” (eating, exercising, not smoking, not drinking alcohol, praying) everything will be okay. AND if the doctors are right in saying the disease isn’t fixable, then there will be a miracle and death will not ..read more

We who work in end of life situations take care of the patient and the caregiver/ family. As end of life approaches, our attention and interactions revolve around the family/ caregiver as much as the patient. Our work involves creating trust with all involved as quickly as possible. End of life work is time sensitive. We who serve need to establish a bond and trust by the end of our first visit. Time is the enemy here. Sensitive information, scary information, heart wrenching information will be shared and given. How do we get beyond the social conventions of strangers meeting and getting ..read more

There seems to be some confusion about advance directives and POLST forms (Physician Orders for Life Saving Treatment). Both are very important if you want to have input in your end of life decisions. So -- here is what you need to know. Advance directives are legal documents that provide instructions for medical care. They only go into effect if you cannot communicate your own wishes. The two most common advance directives for healthcare are a living will and a durable medical  power of attorney. A POLST is a set of portable medical orders prepared together with your doctor who will ..read more