There is no such thing as “forgetting” Valentine’s Day. Forgetting this romantic holiday, that’s not a coincidence. It is rather a symptom of “getting back” at your partner or a fear of getting close. This ‘forgetting” appears mean-spirited, giving a clear message, and has such long-lasting consequences that can even lead to divorce and adultery down the road!! In fact, Ashley Madison, the cheating married website, reports that the day after Valentine’s Day is the biggest cheating day for disappointed women! I say It does not have to be that way, “forgetting” Valentine’s Day is a grudge, a ve ..read more

Are your “Ghosts” (Blasts from your Past) impeding your present relationship or ability to move on to start anew? For Singles, Separated, or even Married: Maybe you need to go back to the “scene of the crime”, so to speak so you can “remember to forget”. This proper “goodbye” and explanation may help with what REALLY went down so you stop blaming yourself or “mind reading”. You may be able to separate your issues and his or her’s so you can piggyback off this information to do it DIFFERENTLY the next time! After all Love is letting go of fear. It’s hard to do that when you don’t really underst ..read more

Define the Currency of your Relationship Questions from Dr Bonnie: Are you putting your money FIRST, perhaps it’s a stand-in for love? Are you allowing money to define the Currency of your relationship? Put Money in its Place Don’t wither in a relationship struggling over money, when what you both need is the love to help you find the courage and belief, to get through tough times. See the Importance of agreeing to put money in its place, in order to reclaim your relationship, and reconnect to each other. Make each other more important. Ask each other on a REGULAR basis, using mo ..read more

Why is Intimacy so hard to achieve for singles, separated or divorced people? Here are 5 tips I recommend to individuals and couples for Staying in Love, Not Just Falling in love!:  Make friends with your fears as finding Love is letting go of fear; Desensitize YOURSELF to rejection as men are more sensitive to rejection then women; Reach out to him if he retreats as disconnection is a man’s way of fear when he IS into you; He acts the opposite of how he really feels so YOU need to make the first move; Do not predict the outcome, just stay in the moment. Use Dr. Bonnie’s tried and true ..read more

Invest in your Future: Be Proactive! Are you a spender or a withholder? Do my Financial Infidelity exercise and find out! Smart Heart Dialogue: Be Preemptive – Use this BEFORE the wedding, engagement, big anniversary, the big vacation, the Bar Mitzvah, or Sweet Sixteen or looking for colleges. Dr. Bonnie’s SmartHeart tips to combat and neutralize that “Opposites Attract” (yes even with money)! Learning how to SAFELY communicate through the Smartheart money love language. This helps you and your partner or potential partner both work out your emotional and “generational” baggag ..read more

BE SMART HEART SAVY:  Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself! Be prepared for the question you ask. Do not ask the question if you do not want to hear the answer. Dr Bonnie ‘s wisdom: Grudges have a purpose —albeit a dysfunctional one! Grudges exist to protect us from hurt again. It does just the opposite. It does not allow you to get close enough to the person who hurt you to help them empathize, have awareness, to change or to create movement to change the dysfunctional dynamic. Grudges paralyze us, keep us frozen, so we don’t “feel” and keep us STUCK in the past and in our present re ..read more

How to Re-Romaticize Your Relationship! Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker by Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD Most relationships can be re-romanticized. An important touchstone for couples are the “mini connections” of little rituals that show affection on a DAILY BASIS. These rituals make and reaffirm memories that heal us, protect us and our relationship or marriage and give us an energetic lift. These attachment techniques can become rituals which boost your connection romantically, by the stimulation of the “cuddle” hormone called oxytocin especially durin ..read more

Why Break Up to Make Up? This theory was tried and true and tested in my mother’s courtship to bring about a successful PROPOSAL of marriage as well as my grandmother and my grandfather in their courtship as well as my great grandmother and great grandfather in theirs! It has worked for generations… in my family! Here are my mother’s and her family’s Smart Heart tips: The Break up is done for a specified period of time with both parties giving permission AND DONE WITH LOVE! If it is a viable relationship the disconnection triggers the re-connection and the fresh start of the relationship. “T ..read more

“Restore the magic and repair the damage after an affair,” says Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil. You CAN restore the magic and repair the damage after an affair. Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil says, “This requires teaching empathy to the adulterer and looking for remorse and helping the betrayed see the equal signs of betrayal that contribute to an affair.” Here are some adultery warning signs: • Is your partner introducing or suggesting new sexual techniques; • Bringing up the name of a colleague or neighbor frequently; • Is your partner spending more time away at business meetings; • Is your spouse doing goo ..read more

Consider this a heads up to wives: beware of December 23rd. Pre Christmas Day is Mistress Day, says marriage and relationship therapist, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. You may be looking forward to a special Christmas Day, but your husband may be keeping someone else out late the night before. According to AOL reports, December 23rd is possibly busier for florists, restaurant reservations, and lingerie stores because men, especially those with the Madonna-mistress complex, are wining and dining their mistresses just before Christmas. The mistress feels like the second fiddle being honored on the 23rd ..read more