During the last several years, CBD (cannabidiol)...the over-hyped, non-psychoactive, virtually worthless, and totally unfuckable little sister of THC...has enjoyed awesome street cred among soccer moms, sellout hucksters like Tommy Chong, and lots of other folks that do not urinate standing up. Irregardless [sic], THC is, was, and always will be thee 4-H club for all stoners ..read more

Dr. Baristodas, who candidly admitted that the study had been designed to "burn up grant money so we would't have to return it," did not care to speculate about the reason for the soul's weight gain ..read more

To begin: if math is racist, what about gravity? Could anything be more white supremacist, patriarchal, or just plain hairy-ass bad than gravity? Gravity is cold, stern, distant, unforgiving, emotionally unavailable, and doesn't give a shit about your feelings ..read more

The true conservative does not like anything to happen that has not happened before. He prefers old dogs, old friends, old whiskey, and old songs...old words, too...and he's apt to become shirty when old words get surrounded by crime scene tape strung up by the low priests of political correctness and woke-fucking-culture ..read more

In truth, most conservative white Americans should be categorized as “alt-middle,” a much larger cohort comprising cheerful, self-sufficient, non-threatening types whom you seldom notice because they don’t have a litany of demands for their local, state, or federal governments to meet … who start fires only in their own backyards … who make reservations in advance for restaurants instead of showing up at the last minute with a party of twenty and a trash can ..read more

People wanted to know, for example, why one person had separate houses for his family and his animals while another person shared his bed and sometimes his wife with a goat ..read more

Sadly, we could not find any righteous persons, places, things, or ideas among the estrogen-rash-inducing, Hallmark-buggering NDC celebrations. Don’t go looking there for a May I Stop Apologizing Now Day ..read more

The LGBTQ population of the United States is … a) 8.8%, b) 23.6%, c) 4.5%, d) way too annoying ..read more

If Mr. Trump is good enough for the National Association of Police Organizations, he's good enough for us. The association, to be sure, is all that stands between us, the Mau Maus, and a trash can hurled through our favorite restaurant's front window ..read more

A distressing number of Black Lives Matter "murals" have sprouted up recently like so many mushrooms out of a mycelium of resentment and hate ..read more