Marriage: Covenant Or Contract? (And Why It Doesn't Matter)
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
1w ago
     One of the common reasons that Christians stay in destructive marriages (other than believing that “God hates divorce”) is because they believe that they made a covenant with their spouse before God to stay faithful to their spouse “until death do us part” - and they take their vows seriously and don’t intend to break them. But let’s explore the concept of “covenant" a bit more to see if you are accurately perceiving the meaning of the word and whether you’re doing right in your marriage. The Marriage Covenant According to Some Christians First, let’s hear what some Christ ..read more
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The Problem With Attachment Therapy
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
2M ago
     Attachment theory is a psychology concept that proposes that the health of our attachment to our caregivers early on in life has an impact on the health of our relationships later on in life. It suggests that there are different stages of attachment that begin at infancy that impact how secure we feel in relationships. When a caregiver responds to an infant’s needs, a very young infant reacts no differently whether the mother is meeting those needs or whether someone else is meeting those needs. But as the infant gets older, he/she can distinguish between caregivers and be ..read more
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Unconditional Love Does Not Mean This...
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
2M ago
     Narcissists have a knack for twisting perfectly reasonable statements into accusations and blame. Here’s an example: A wife, in a fruitless attempt to give her husband insight, shared with him that his love felt conditional to her, and explained to him that she really needs unconditional love, not the kind of love where it’s given only if he gets something in return. Reasonable, right? Even biblical (Matthew 5:44-46, Luke 6:32-34). But the husband’s response was: “I agree: unconditional love is the virtue we should be pursuing, and it’s something that I need, too. You shou ..read more
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Can Divorce Honor God?
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
3M ago
     When someone wants to be sure they are doing the will of God, and they are in a marriage that has become increasingly unworkable, they may begin to contemplate what God says about divorce, and a question that is often considered is: “Can divorce honor God? Could it possibly be His will?” This is a question that those who come to the realization that their marriage is unhealthy have already had to ponder in various forms, replacing the word “divorce” with a myriad of other words: How can… doing things against my spouse’s will… setting boundaries… enacting consequences ..read more
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Is The Enemy Attacking Your Marriage?
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
6M ago
     What do you point to as the cause of the problems in your marriage? Some of you will say that you believe you’re the problem: your expectations are too high, you’re not giving enough grace, you’re having a hard time with respect, you aren’t submitting enough, or you feel like you’re failing to be the godly spouse you (or your spouse) thinks you should be. Or perhaps you’re wondering if maybe it isn’t you, maybe your spouse is the problem: being married to him/her is like like having a child, they are narcissistic, they say they’re sorry but don’t really change, or they use ..read more
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16 Reasons Why Bad Things Happen
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
6M ago
     One of the biggest problems people have with God is the concept of suffering. They ask “Why do people suffer? If God is so good, why does he let bad things happen?” Who is to blame? First, it’s important to place blame where blame belongs. Satan is the one who instigates suffering, not God. People often assign blame to a good and perfect God and fail to assign blame to the one who comes to kill, steal, and destroy. God, in his goodness, has made a way for us to be rescued from suffering. God brings salvation. It’s Satan who brings suffering. But there are some other reason ..read more
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My Spouse Is Like A Child
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
8M ago
     Let’s say your birthday is coming up, and you would like to be able to go out for a nice meal with your spouse. That requires that one of you arrange for a babysitter and choose a restaurant. You also would like your spouse to get you a birthday gift. However, you know that none of that will happen unless you take the initiative to do it yourself. So you buy yourself a gift, wrap it, and give it to your spouse to give to you. And you call the sitter and make the reservation at the restaurant. So now you’ve gotten your birthday date and your present, but only because you pu ..read more
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Biblical Reasons For Divorce
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
9M ago
     The question that comes up the most around the topic of divorce is “What are the Biblical grounds for divorce?” People who ask this question deeply desire to do God’s will and do not want to do somewhat that God tells them not to do. In answer to that question, some people will say that adultery is the only Biblical basis for divorce. Others will also add abandonment and/or abuse. So let’s consider what God says about divorce and sin. Is Divorce A Sin? First, it’s important to recognize that God doesn’t speak about divorce as sin. There are a lot of sins named in the Bible ..read more
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Unity in Marriage (And Unity In The Church)
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
11M ago
     Unity. It’s what we’re told marriage is about. Two becoming one. But what does that mean? Unity as agreement Many people see unity as being in a state of constant agreement - of always being on the same page - so that a husband and wife do not differ in what they believe and so that there is no conflict. If agreement is the evidence of unity, then forget it, especially in contentious marriages where one spouse wants the other to yield to their perspective on everything and will argue their stance until you are worn out and give up. If unity is about agreement, then it woul ..read more
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The Myth of Male Leadership (Is The Husband Really the Head of the Family?)
Changing Us | Hope For Marriage
by Changing Us
1y ago
     This is going to mess with everything you’ve believed about male leadership. But it’s going to set you free (whether you’re a man or a woman). You’ll see why. Authority, Headship, and Leadership I heard a sermon that stated resolutely that women are not allowed to teach men either in the church or in an informal setting (and, upon further clarification, that command went so far as to apply also to mothers not being allowed to teach their 18-and-up sons about the things of God). The speaker was referencing 1 Corinthians 14:34-38 and 1 Timothy 2:11-15. I’d never heard it tau ..read more
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