Learning to trust yourself again, after years of abuse, is a massive job, but it is a pivotal turning point of your life.  Whether you are free from the abuser or still with them, it is still vital for you to learn to trust your gut instinct. Why Is Learning to Trust Yourself So Important? The abuser’s favorite tactic, especially in cases of covert abuse, is to cause you to second-guess your intuition.  The perpetrator loves to define your reality, so he denies your feelings and mocks your inner sense.   If you choose to believe him instead of your inner voice, then you rem ..read more

Are nightmares waking you at night?  Do you also wonder what causes bad dreams?  Moreover, are nightmares warnings that you should examine more closely?  God gave warnings in dreams all through scripture, so does that still work today?  The answer is yes.  God indeed used dreams to warn people in earlier times, and He still uses them today.  He is the same God yesterday, today, and forever.  Our loving Father both reveals things and sends us warnings in dreams that will keep us from harm. Warnings in Dreams Can Protect You For instance, if you live in an abus ..read more

While you are healing from abuse, learning how to respect your husband when you don’t even like him anymore is bound to surface.  If you are part of a church community, then you will hear all about honoring your husband as you walk through this.  Indeed, showing honor by submitting to him and serving him, while suffering from his abusive actions, produces intense pain and chaos inside you.  How can you do both?  How can you both respect and honor him while he is hurting you?  For years, your abuser has practised deceiving you and lying to you.  If you dare to conf ..read more

Fear is real!  You feel it in a snarly look.  It paralyzes you when you see the deliberate swagger of your abuser.  Undoubtedly, fighting fear is a crucial step in healing from abuse. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “…let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is… fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes our efforts to convert retreat into advance.” But, as an abuse survivor, you struggle with whether your fears are valid or imaginary, especially if your abuser mocks you, telling you that you are too sensitive.  So, decidin ..read more

When a marriage becomes harmful, does God allow divorce?  In cases of clear unfaithfulness, the answer is undeniable, yes.  But does that answer apply to other problems in a marriage? For example, pornography use is rampant in our culture.  Some people argue that only the physical act done outside of marriage equals unfaithfulness, and thus, is worthy of divorce.  But others quote Jesus in Matthew 5:28, where he says that whoever even looks at a woman with lust commits adultery in his heart.   In light of that verse and Matthew 19:9, then both pornography and wandering eyes are adultery and ..read more

Yes, we are venturing into the rather prickly and heated topic about women teaching men!  Many of us grew up in churches where 1 Timothy 2:11-15 was the accepted standard.  We watched as gifted women were not allowed to teach men but instead be obediently silent.  Also, we saw less talented men intimidate and scorn these women.  This behavior significantly confused and bothered me in my situation. Eventually, due to the misapplication of the Bible, many of us accept the belief that women are inferior.   In time, some of us also agree that women are unable to teach or speak effectively.  Des ..read more

Here is a much-debated question.  If women are equal to men in God’s eyes, then why does the Bible warn about women speaking in church? To begin with, in Genesis, we saw that God created women at the same time as men.  We also saw how God handed them equal responsibility or authority in the earth.  Then, the scandal in the Garden of Eden happened. At this point, we see a sad turn of events.  The curse comes into play and shakes up the overall balance.  But, as we saw, misinterpreting that curse is to blame for women’s subjection to men.  If you haven’t read these earlier posts, then I re ..read more

If submission in marriage is causing you to fear, then come take a closer look. Traditionalists believe that wives are not only to submit to their husbands in everything but also to obey them without question.  Is this a healthy understanding? Firstly, our understanding of scripture needs to pass the test of overall interpretation.  What do I mean by that? For example, to take one verse, or even two, and create a law from it is unwise if it doesn’t fit with an earlier theme in the Bible.  Every scripture, when interpreted correctly, will be backed up throughout both the Old and New T ..read more

Headship is a subject certainly sparking controversy in the religious world today.  Does it mean either “authority” or “source”?  If God created male and female as equals, as seen in Genesis, then does He later change his mind? Those who take a literal view of scripture without considering the context, ancient customs, and original language in their study, consequently, define headship according to the King James Version; the male is the boss.  Comparatively few people take the time to research the historical period at the time of this translation, the rules King James ordered the ..read more

If God and women balance as a healthy equation, then what about the curse found in Genesis?  Previously, in our last discussion, we dived into the first chapters of Genesis and saw powerful support for the idea that God indeed created men and women equally.  We saw that they began life as one being, shared the same jobs, and then separated into two distinct genders at a later point. So, if God created men and women equally, then why do we have centuries of conflict?  God and Women Both “HelpMeets” When God presented the female to the male, He presented her as a “helpmeet.”  I ..read more