hello macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! the movie place across town has been going out of business for a while, so everything is on sale. my mom has been wanting to watch ready or not for a while now, so we bought it (also midsommar and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.) now, i’d seen the trailers. i had fair expectations of this movie. and can i just say… it exceeded them all. i’m not even kidding. modern horror can get so boring and repetitive and greedy (i’m looking at you, blumhouse), but this one, like happy death day, was a pleasant surprise alternate universe where wyno ..read more

(spoilers!) hello macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! i gotta say, that post i wrote about a24 movies? really inspired me to watch this one. i love slow burns. emma roberts was also a bonus. but let’s be real: this movie should’ve been called february. so february tells the story of three separate women: rose, joan, and kat. rose and kat are living in the same timeline, joan is from the future, but they clip her scenes in between rose and kat’s. it’s quite possibly the bleakest movie i’ve ever seen- probably because of the weather. that or the fact that everybody looks depressed all t ..read more

(spoiler alert, probably) hello macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! this is a sort of follow-up to my december post, why blumhouse sucks. now, i know that it’s the biggest modern horror movie production company (with 49 movies since 2000), but i think a24 is the best. as a slow burn fan, i’m probably a little bias, but a24 horror is just higher quality. they lean away from cheap scares and towards atmosphere. not to mention, they’re not constantly churning out movies to make a quick buck- their films are thought-out and thought-provoking. for example… tusk (2014) now, i have to admit ..read more

hello macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! the movie place across town has been going out of business for a while, so everything is on sale. my mom has been wanting to watch ready or not for a while now, so we bought it (also midsommar and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.) now, i’d seen the trailers. i had fair expectations of this movie. and can i just say… it exceeded them all. i’m not even kidding. modern horror can get so boring and repetitive and greedy (i’m looking at you, blumhouse), but this one, like happy death day, was a pleasant surprise alternate universe where wyno ..read more

hello, macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! i’ve been meaning to watch this movie for a while (because it’s gay), but when i pirated it, it was actually a cinderella story: once upon a song. the saddest part was i watched it for a good ten minutes before realizing it wasn’t the movie i wanted. fun fact: “a closer walk with thee” is my favorite hymn. anyways, one thing i found interesting about this movie is that it doesn’t have a wikipedia page. i also said that about my teacher, my obsession, but now it has one, so a closer walk with thee is in its own category again. the film starts ..read more

spoiler alert: it was either this or rewatch but i’m a cheerleader, and i can’t say i’m glad i picked this. see, it’s the sort of movie that makes you uncomfy. i mean, it’s decent, but there’s also little reason for it to exist. hello macabrians, and welcome back/to the mansion! today we’re going to be reviewing richard bates, jr.’s 2012 body horror film, excision. (which, in case you were confused, is defined by merriam-webster as “the act or procedure of removing by or as if by cutting out.” i certainly had no idea.) i’m trying, pauline! the film begins by introducing us to it ..read more

(spoiler: gifs that will make your stomach churn ahead!) hello macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! i started governor’s school today and after a philosophy class (she got us questioning whether or not canada is real), i’m feeling mentally exhausted. so i thought i’d do an easy ranking post of one of my favorite horror movie franchises of all time: saw. disclaimer, i won’t be including the latest installment, because obviously i haven’t seen it. nobody has. it doesn’t come out until 2021. saw was one of the first horror movies i ever watched (the fourth, to be precise.) my mom had alwa ..read more

hello, macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! although i’ve seen an abundance of nasty horror flicks recently (flower of flesh and blood, slaughtered vomit dolls, may), i don’t wanna talk about them (i take that back, i might actually come back to may), i wanna talk about this one, because it’s the very first film i’ve seen by the soska sisters can i please work with them? they look so fun. and they’re so talented. i’m just fangirling at this point. now, i’m not a body horror enthusiast by any means- in fact, it’s the subgenre that freaks me out the most, and i don’t get freaked out. Th ..read more

(spoiler alert! graphic, disturbing sh!t ahead.) hello, macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! what have you been up to? not watching effedupmovies, you say? then what are you doing? just kidding, i completely understand that not everyone can handle exploitation films- i just like to brag that i am one of those people who totally can. so i thought i would rank them for you guys! you know, tell you which ones are a waste of time and which ones are worth watching… if you can stomach them. you might have to take breaks. now, i’ve made a similar post, but i didn’t necessarily watch all the m ..read more

hello, macabrians, and welcome back to the mansion! as some of you may know, i was very active in the horror scene around 2015 because the movietown by my house was still open. tuesdays were new release days, so i would just browse the shelves looking for fresh horror. and i found it, it just wasn’t very good. so, without further ado, the worst horror movies of 2015! #horror ^this gif isn’t from #horror- i couldn’t find any from the movie, but i hate that i can just hear her saying this. like, her voice is so imprinted in my brain that i know what it’s going to sound like sayin ..read more