I was honored to offer a TEDx talk this past year in Boca Raton, Florida. It's entitled "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression," and in it, I describe clients I've seen who'd never have seemed depressed to anyone around them. Two in particular are featured: one tried to take her life; the other came in well before that happened, but admitted he'd also had thoughts about doing the same. Having thoughts about wishing for the end of your life is much more common than many people realize—and we, as a culture, need to talk about those thoughts with one another much more transpare ..read more

As TikTok has taken over the world of social media throughout the last few years, many psychological trends have become increasingly popular, and could be more harmful than helpful. Glowing up, bed rotting, and lucky girl syndrome are only three of the harmful effects the so-called "psychological help" on TikTok and other outlets can bring - and we have a fantastic expert here today on SelfWork to discuss them. Dr. Sanam Hafeez is an NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. a neuropsychological, d ..read more

During my research on last week's episode on post partum, I learned that my own state of Arkansas holds the #1 spot in the US for maternal mortality rates. I'm interviewing Dr. Zenobia Harris today, whose accolades in this field are numerous to try to understand what's not happening in Arkansas that needs to happen - and what states are doing it right and how. Dr. Harris heads up the Arkansas Birthing Project, and is an incredible force and national advocate for health equity and for improvements to family, child, and maternal health. The program as well as the national organization Every Moth ..read more

I wasn’t feeling so hot yesterday so took a time-out day and watched "Shrinking", the Apple TV series that has a superb cast and follows the lives of three therapists and their friends and families. It’s full of expletives, especially the f bomb. Which is fine by me but there’s wasn’t one person in the cast who didn’t explore its complete usage… It’s also very moving. And I was relieved to see that except for some entertaining but weirdly unethical behavior, the therapists are painted as caring and trying hard to help. But also having HUGE struggles in their own lives. I get it. There have bee ..read more

I wouldn’t wish borderline personality disorder on anyone – it’s a truly difficult and chaotic way to live life. Yet it’s just as difficult to be in relationship with someone who lives their life on an emotional roller coaster. Today we’re going to focus on how you can set boundaries with folks who have borderline traits (I’ll also go over the traits themselves). We’ll focus specifically on having a parent with borderline PD – but these suggestions could also help if your friend or cousin or sibling suffers from the disorder. I’m pulling from some extremely well-written articles as well as my ..read more

Sometimes the very decision on what to talk about here at SelfWork seems difficult, as the possibilities are endless really. And since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to do something special – although any month is mental health awareness month for me! To help get me organized, I turned to an old teacher of mine who’s an internationally known expert on depression - Dr. Michael Yapko. I listened into one of his YouTube presentations on the current research in depression and what the best thinking is about its causes and its treatment. He mentions the five most common mental mista ..read more

I’ve stayed away from the topic of forgiveness here on SelfWork. Why? Because the word itself means very different things to different people – especially due to your culture or religious belief. But this week, I received an email from a listener that was so poignant AND was about forgiveness, that I’ve decided to talk about it, I've learned that there are emotions that are are important to acknowledge and work through in order to “get” to forgiveness. What are those emotions? Anger. And empathy. Let me say first… forgiveness isn’t an emotion. It’s a decision. A decision based on your beliefs ..read more

“My feelings were hurt” is a phrase very commonly used. We even use it when we talk to our children.  “Did someone hurt your feelings?” It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. Instead of asking, “What happened and how are you feeling about it?” and helping your child sort out their exact feelings, we lump them all together. Many of us carry that lumpy mess of “hurt feelings” into our adulthood. Instead of saying, for example, “I want you to ask me what I think, or what I’d like, instead of assuming you know," you might say,  “You hurt my feelings all the time and you don’t ..read more

Norman Lear is someone whose work, talent, and creativity I’ve admired for a long time. I've used an interview that he gave before he died as my inspiration for this episode, when he said about his own mortality, "It's not the going... it's the leaving that's hard." So today on SW, we’re going to focus on endings and grieving and three facets of grief that may be surprising: When grief is harder the second year and facing the future is hard When your grief means that you fear risking loving again When grief is characterized by "counterfactuals" - "what if's" for example - that keep you paraly ..read more

You’re getting back (or will be soon) to the office or to work or school.. and you start hearing about what everyone else did over the holidays. Maybe you’ve already seen stuff on social media that seems to tell their story. Maybe you’ve scrolled Instagram reels or watched hilarious TikToks. Your own life may shrink in comparison - especially if you're living in fear. That's the topic for today. How to confront your fear of missing out (FOMO) or how to stop chasing the "next best thing" and instead, to live in joy (JOMO) or at least contentment. Here's Lauren Cook's and Dr. Cathy Sullivan Wind ..read more