There are many articles out there that list the warning signs of abusive relationships. Control, putting you down, isolating you from friends and family who are no good, getting overly angry about little things, twisting stories to make it seem like your fault or that you didn’t hear properly or misunderstood. In my experience, these things can take many years to pop up or many years for you to make the connection instead of justifying it away with: S/he’s just stressed If I had kept my mouth shut it wouldn’t have happened I should have listened better so I didn’t misunderstand I’ll keep the c ..read more

My name is Lisa and I am the founder of Lisa’s Sanctuary – DV awareness, support and hope. I am an expert and advocate of DV and have a vision to guide people from a victim mentality to a survivor mindset. I have refrained from referring to myself as an expert because who am I to be an expert in this field? Who am I to share my knowledge and profess to know so much? The fact is though, I am an expert and it’s time I believed in myself and my ability to help. I have a lived experience of DV. I once believed the only way out of my relationship was in a body bag. But here I am, 7 1/2 years later ..read more

Financial abuse is where one person attempts to control the household finances to the detriment of a spouse. One person may restrict another person’s access to money or their means of earning money. It is not common to see on its own but rather it occurs simultaneously as other forms of abuse (physical, verbal, mental). Financial abuse is not “S/he holds onto my keycard because I’ve lost it 3 times so far this year!” or “I’ll have to check with my partner before I make that big ticket purchase” or “Let’s go through the budget and work out what we’ve got left after the bills…..so we ..read more

While you’re living in fear, being controlled, degraded, assaulted, abused and isolated it can feel like a hell that will never end. Domestic Violence presents physical, emotional and mental pain that changes who you are and changes who you were going to be. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I’m out now. I’m 7 years out after being in my relationship for 14 years. And the biggest mistake I made was thinking my life would be ‘normal’ once I left. There is nothing normal about my life as I know it now. But it certainly isn’t the hell that I once endured. Acceptance I had to learn to acc ..read more

The day I called the police for the last time during our relationship was the day he was charged with Intimidation and I was granted an interim AVO. It was the day I decided I wanted to leave my relationship alive instead of in a body bag. My AVO included not approaching me, contacting me or coming within 200 metres of my home and workplace. At first my children didn’t have any contact with him. I was beyond scared and I needed to process what I’d been through and how I was going to live safely and move forward. After a short period of time there were phone calls, and I allowed them, becau ..read more

An intention is how you want to feel for the day. It is identifying the outcome you want to experience in a particular situation or circumstance. It is projecting how it will pan out. You can set an intention at any point of the day. I like to set an intention in the morning while I’m in the shower. Usually my intention involves having a great day or feeling wonderful as I move throughout my day. Yesterday morning I set an intention for a particular outcome and I’m pleased that I got it. A few months ago I had a wisdom tooth extracted. It was the first tooth I’ve had removed and the first majo ..read more

Have you ever heard that saying ‘Teach your daughter to shoot because a restraining order is just a piece of paper”? Apprehended Violence Orders or AVO’s are your legal protection from someone who you believe may or will harm you and/or your children, property, pets, family members, loved ones. Many victims of Domestic Violence have had dealings with AVO’s. Even though the Courts can impose the Order preventing the perpetrator from abusing, threatening, intimidating, molesting, harassing, contacting and approaching the victim, many will tell you an AVO is just a piece of paper and offers no re ..read more