Mini Van Privacy Dividers For When Your Kids Are Being Annoying (#26)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
“Mom! Mom! Mom!” “Yes?” “Mom! Can we get a snow cone?” “Honey, we’re driving home from the ice cream place!” Your eyes flick up to the rearview mirror and you see tears welling in your little angel’s eyes. “But…but…” Oh geez. Oh man. Fuck. Fucking shit. “…but mom…I really want a snow cone…” Nice. Your five year old future diabetic is about to throw the temper tantrum of the century unless you buy him sugar ice ten minutes after he shoveled a double chocolate brownie ice cream sundae down his throat – and that’s not going to happen. So what do you do? That’s right. This is the moment you’ve bee ..read more
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Televised Gladiator Fights To Reduce Jail Sentences (#25)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
It’s Friday night. You’re chilling with a friend in his living room and ESPN is blaring through his TV speakers. Right now it’s Joe Rogan’s voice, announcing the participants in a fight scheduled to begin in less than five minutes. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a special treat for you – the prison fight of the century. In one corner of the octagon, we have Jared from Subway, former sandwich spokesman turned pedophile here in an attempt to reduce his fifteen year sentence to thirteen years. Up against him is a man you might know from his hit song ‘Murder on My Mind,’ a highly incrimina ..read more
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A Matching App That Finds Celebrities In Your Area Willing To Take Pictures With You For Money (#24)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
Clout prostitution – a phenomenon in which people exchange their clout for money. Huge market. Largely untapped. Picture this. You’re in New York City. You know who else is in New York City? An assload of celebrities. Our recently developed app has just been released and you have a beta version downloaded on your phone. What better place to give it a trial run? The format is identical to Bumble, but with a few behind the scenes modifications. You still select range in miles and a few other matching factors, but on top of that, you place yourself in a price bracket. The options range from $10 t ..read more
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Yelp But For People: A Comprehensive Review Site For Every Person On Earth (#23)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
If you were thinking about buying a new car you’d do some research first, right? Well, what if you googled the car you really wanted – your dream car – and Edmund’s, the top car reviewing website on the internet, said it was an unreliable piece of shit? That might change your approach to the whole vehicle buying situation, wouldn’t it? Now imagine that, but for people. You really want to meet this guy. He’s so cute (or whatever girls think when they have a crush on someone), and he seems nice too! What a catch! How is he still single? You’re about to force a mutual friend to take you to a Face ..read more
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Paid Entrance To A Privately Owned Island Where Every Drug Is Legal (#22)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
Step 1: Buy a private island. Step 2: Register the island with the UN as its own country. Step 3: Ship in every drug known to mankind. Step 4: Charge people to visit the island and try the drug(s) of their choice. Step 5: Become the richest person on earth. Literally so easy. I just googled “private islands for sale” and almost all of them are listed for less than $100 million. We can assume 10,000 very wealthy visitors would trek to the island in the first year and spend $1,000 on the entrance fee plus the cost of food and drugs, so you’re already at almost $20 million in revenue after the fi ..read more
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The Real Life Truman Show: A TV Show That Broadcasts A Really Boring Guy 24/7 (#21)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
The Truman Show is one of the sickest movies of all time. It’s about a guy (played by Jim Carrey) coming to the realization that his entire life is a reality TV show. Since the day of his birth…are these spoilers? Maybe. Stop reading if you haven’t seen the movie. Since the day of his birth, his entire life has been broadcasted on TV. Every second of everything he’s done since he completed the original live-on-TV womb pop has been for the entertainment of a worldwide audience, and he has no idea. I’m saying let’s do it, but without the ethical dilemma of the guy being broadcasted not knowing h ..read more
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A Law Requiring All Vapes To Be Shaped Like Dicks (#20)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
Picture this: you’re at a party, getting that tingling feeling on your lips that can only be solved by a splash of nicotine to the lungs. You reach for your vape…and as your hand touches it you remember the new FDA policy. It was enacted on September 1st of 2020. From that day forward, the law requires that every nicotine delivering e-cigarette be shaped like a dick. And so now, if you want to hit yours, you have to pull out a monster ten inch dildo with veins running up the side in front of everyone and suck smoke right out of the tip. There’s no way to hide it, and there’s no chance someone ..read more
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A Nicotine Quitting Package From Juul (#19)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
E-cigarettes were originally designed to serve as both a healthier alternative to actual cigarettes and a means for quitting smoking altogether, but instead of decreasing the number of nicotine dependents listed on cancer’s tax return, they’ve exponentially increased it. Two totally new populations of addicts have emerged from these clouds: chache high schoolers trying to look sick in front of their friends and bored college students looking for a substance other than cocaine to spice up parties and date events. This wasn’t supposed to happen, and companies like Juul need to get back on track ..read more
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Showers That Let You Select Water Temperature (#18)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
Finding the perfect equilibrium between the hot and cold knobs of a shower system is a nearly impossible dance of little twists and turns that either scorch you or freeze you, and 99% of the time ends in you settling for a temperature that’s “close enough.” But “close enough” is no way for you to live your life, and tests of this nature result in a loss of millions of gallons of water and thousands of frustrating minutes every year. Not to worry, though. We have a solution for you, coming in hot. But not too hot. Just the right amount of hot. It’s actually the perfect temperature solution. Sho ..read more
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Vitamin Toothpaste (#17)
Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
by thecompassenterprises
3y ago
No one actually takes daily vitamins on a routine basis. People barely take daily birth control, and being pregnant on accident sucks way more than not having vitamins in your body. Honestly, to be completely frank, I have no fucking clue what vitamins actually do. Make you healthier? Maybe. I don’t know. Either way, science says you need vitamins (right?) so the world might as well innovate the easiest possible way to ingest them. Introducing: vitamin toothpaste, the simplest way for you to consume all the nutrients you need without even trying. What if, when you brushed your teeth every morn ..read more
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