My First Sponsor
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
2y ago
soberdoesntsuck This post is dedicated to Kate…my first Sponsor.   In case you don’t know what a Sponsor is (and yes, I mean to capitalize the term), a Sponsor is a person that acts as a mentor or guide through the 12 Steps of any Anonymous program of recovery (e.g.-Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Al-Anon, etc,)    By now, you may know that I have been a part of the 12-Step programs listed above over the last 27+ years of my recovery (and more). As a result, I have had several Sponsors.   Kate was my first.   Today I got a call from Kate… She is ..read more
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Is Lying is an Addiction?
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
2y ago
soberdoesntsuck When I was active in my addictions, almost every time I spoke, I was lying. At the same time, I know I started lying before I was an active addict. I can trace my lying back to before I took my first drink. But WHY?!?! Lying was a survival technique. Just like my addictions were. It saved me from the horrible truth of my existence. Things I could not stand to shine the light of reality on. Why would I tell the truth when a lie would save me from being hit? Or punished? Or disliked? Or abandoned? Or…less…than…perfect? Truly, in the end, that was my goal. I wanted to be p ..read more
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Sober in Recovery…REALLY?!?
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
3y ago
soberdoesntsuck So, pot is legal where I live now. Ugh. Now, I am meeting people in recovery who smoke pot on a daily basis and say they are sober. This leaves me feeling…   I am now officially “old school” and considered an “old timer” in this whole recovery thing. I look at the younger people coming into recovery and what they are experiencing and I want to hear EVERYTHING! What is it like out there? What did they go through? What the fuck is “Clone”? And I ask every one of them, “Do you think smoking pot every day means you are sober?” I am AMAZED at their responses! Out of the 6 people ..read more
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Sober Friend of an Alcoholic/Addict
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
3y ago
soberdoesntsuck I am about to tell another friend in sobriety that I cannot have any contact because of his using…and it hurts like hell. He is my brother-from-another-mother. We’ve been friends for almost 20 years. I call him family. I love him.  And, I can’t have him in my life. His drinking and drugging has changed him to the point that HE wouldn’t recognize himself anymore. Have you been here with a friend? Do you know what it’s like to end a relationship with someone because of their drinking or using? If so, then you know the fresh hell I’m going through. I’m writing this now, while ..read more
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Sober? Recovered? Recovering?
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
3y ago
soberdoesntsuck Are you sober? Recovered? Recovering? Clean? Abstinent? What’s the difference between these? Do you think these labels matter? I don’t. If you’ve read any of my previous stuff, you’ve probably noticed that I’m not hung up on labels. Other things get my knickers in a twist. Just not this. To me, someone saying they are “sober”, “clean”, or “recovering” means they are working toward the same goal: No longer consciously, actively seeking out the addictions that were ruining their life.  Here is where I feel the need to break it down and provide some technical definitions for e ..read more
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Sober and Grieving
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
3y ago
soberdoesntsuck Have you ever lost someone? A friendship? A pet? Were these losses the result of a death or a break-up? As it turns out…loss is loss. Grieving can come after many types of loss…not just death. Loss of a job, relationship, or even loss of an addiction is enough to trigger the stages of grieving. And, each new loss can pile onto the pain from the loss before it. I learned all sorts of things like this each time I’ve been Sober and Grieving. I would have to say my first major loss in my sobriety was alcohol. It had been there when no one and nothing else had been. It even took ..read more
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Sober and Scared
Sober Doesn't Suck
by Liz
3y ago
soberdoesntsuck Have you been scared in sobriety? I have. For the longest time I had this script running through my mind that I wasn’t supposed to be scared after I reached a certain point in my sobriety. I thought that if I had enough faith, friends, and was doing everything “right” in my recovery that I should never feel scared. Boy was I wrong. I wasn’t totally to blame. I heard several things during my recovery that helped to fuel my inaccurate belief. One of the most damaging to me was: “Fear and faith cannot exist at the same time.” Now, I may be misunderstanding this statement, or h ..read more
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