Picture the scene: you’re at a beautiful home with the person you are growing to love. An open fire is burning with the occasional snap, while an Etta James record crackles seductively in the background. The first bottle of wine is almost gone. You feel complete. Happy. Sexy. You catch each other’s gaze and move closer to kiss. From another room, a toddler’s voice screams “DADDY!!! I’VE DONE A POO AND NEED TO WIPE!!!” To some, that scene is almost perfect. They may change Etta James to Sade, change wine to rum, or change an open fire to an electric one (you weirdo); those things are negotiable ..read more

Tomorrow I turn 40. In fact, unless you read this the day it is published I already have. 14 September 2020 sees me roll from my thirties into my forties, and takes me out of an entire bracket of age groups forevermore. And I’m still single. Don’t get me wrong or misunderstand me; I’m not unhappy. I have four incredible children who astound me and give me a sense of pride that I will never do justice with by using mere words; the crudity of language will never describe how happy they make me. I have friends who I love, family to cherish and I have my health. As much as I’m not rich I have enou ..read more

Communication in friendship is important. In fact, it’s so important that without it there’s a good chance that the friendship itself won’t survive. In some friendships there will be little communication for months on end, yet when it eventually happens it’s as if there had never been any gap. Neither side holds any grudges or recriminations; both simply appreciate the friendship for all it is. Other friendships are much, much closer than that, and result in at least daily contact. Whether it’s a WhatsApp conversation that lasts for most of the day, a quick call in the morning and evening or s ..read more

Today is a big day in the Dating Dad household; it’s back to school day. The day when I pack my children off with their shiny new lunchboxes and polished shoes to go back into school after the long summer break. Of course, this year it’s been longer than most summers as it started way back in April 1882, but however long it’s been the September ritual is the same every year even if the classroom arrangements are different now. And I’m sad. I say this not in order to garner any sympathy at all or to receive well-meaning messages to tell me I’m doing a fine job, but today is another milestone I ..read more

(Geek Alert) While most of the recent additions to the Star Wars cinematic universe have been utterly awful – and by “recent” I mean anything after 1983 – the release of Rogue One was a welcome change from the Jar Jar Binks/Snope/your-mother jokes that have made the rest of them nearly unwatchable. A recurring motif in the excellent Rogue One was a simple one – hope. It’s what rebellions were built on, and all that is needed to sustain a vision of a brighter future once all of the struggle and pain and sacrifice has been made to overthrow repression, oppression and depression. The underlying m ..read more

Recently the ever-wonderful Lucy shared a tweet asking for stories about online dating for her forthcoming radio show. As the responses started flowing in I quickly spotted a pattern; overwhelmingly, from men and from women, people were sharing their disdain, dislike and in some cases hatred for online dating. Stories were shared of people being ghosted or stood up, of dick pics being sent/received and abuse from random internet strangers. People attacked the grind of the swipe culture, criticising how dating has become disposable thanks to the plethora of choices available, and how apps have ..read more

A scar simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you If you have no scars, then you need to ask yourself whether you’ve ever truly lived. Be they physical scars from accidents on motorbikes, mental scars from the time you made a fool of yourself at the Christmas party or emotional scars from a love that broke your heart, scars are the result of our experiences and of our limits being tested. Every scar is a reminder of what happened before. It reminds you of what happened to cause it, the pain you suffered and how you thought it would never get better. It reminds you of the ..read more

As I’ve mentioned before, in my day job I work in sales and have done since the end of 2016. Over the years I have undertaken a number of sales training courses and become quietly proficient at it all even if I do say so myself. My move to sales and undertaking all of these courses coincided almost exactly with becoming single at the start of 2017, and the more training I did the more I realised that essentially I was getting a two-for-one deal. The lessons of how to manage and progress the sales process are incredibly similar to many of the lessons shared about how to approach online dating ..read more

One of my favourite phrases is one I learned when I took part in a sailing race a few years ago: A calm sea doesn’t make for a skilled mariner As with learning more from defeat than from victory, it points out that the more challenging the situation, the more you learn about it and the more you learn about yourself. The past few months of lockdown, schools closing and children being expected to maintain learning whilst parents maintained full time jobs have stretched us to the limits and, in some cases, beyond them. As the initial lockdown starts to ease up it’s an opportunity for us all to ..read more

Recently, over on Twitter, someone asked for some advice on divorce. They were going through a breakup and the subsequent legal wranglings and, like most of us who go through that awful experience, felt a little lost. Divorce is hard, as is breaking up with anyone you love and have built a life with. At the start of it everything in your life brings sadness as you are reminded of what you lost and that the future you had been dreaming of that will now not happen with someone you loved. They can easily become bitter and ensure that nobody comes out of it with anything but hate and remorse in th ..read more