Bosses amiright? We all got them. Some are good, some are bad, some are human babies that also are secret agents in the war for adult’s affection (that’s a Boss Baby joke folks.) Anyways, yesterday I ran a question on my story about the worst boss people have ever had. Some of the responses were truly insane and felt borderline fictional. It got me thinking…which Fictional TV Boss would I want to work for? Why TV and not movies, you ask? Because there’s just way too many movies and I’m not really down to do that much research today. It’s a Friday for god’s sake. Without further ado, please enj ..read more

Editor’s Note: Today’s column comes from our guest writer, Laura “The Meme Queen” Mayfield. and is the latest installment in the parody series “Smart People, Stupidly High Salaries.” Check out her previous post, We Interview a Paranormal Ghost Hunter Getting Sandwiches with a Side of Scams  “I should have realized something was up when he showed me the garbage can and said: get in” Ernie is a sandwich influencer who moved to New York City after he gained more than one thousand followers on Instagram. His move to the big city wasn’t all ‘guns and roses’ – he soon found himself i ..read more

Editor’s Note: Today’s column comes from our guest writer, Laura “The Meme Queen” Mayfield. and is the latest installment in the parody series “Smart People, Stupidly High Salaries.” Check out her previous post, We Interview a Paranormal Ghost Hunter Getting to Know the Woman Behind the Scenes When we first encounter Melissa Andwich, she is every bit the harried housewife, a characterization she says is untrue and sexist, and asks us not to repeat it again. Her hair is put into a messy bun, and she looked to be unspooling an entire ball of yarn over Zoom, while simultaneously cradli ..read more

Well folks, it’s been a hard week for red-blooded American men who sexualize cartoon brand mascots like myself, as M&M recently announced that they would be drop the spicy vixen M&Ms known as the SpokesCandies as their brand mascots. What a sad day for this country, but it’s time to channel that pain into content. Inspired by this thread by Macy Gilliam of the Most Fuckable Brand Mascots, I’ve decided to take a different, more soulful angle to this cultural discussion and rank the brand mascots by how much I want to marry them. Because I am a straight man, we’re just going to focus on ..read more

For some reason, in the office, we simply refuse to speak like actual human beings to each other. Is it avoid conflict? To make ourselves feel more important than we are? Or because we are just bored and playing business until the apocalypse happens? I don’t know. The point is, corporate-speak is a language all of its own and it would take a Harvard linguist professor many lifetimes to master. Luckily for you, I am a genius and have already figured it all out. Because I am one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, I will be sharing my knowledge, free of charge. Official Office Buzzword Tiers Fun ..read more

We’re two weeks into January and it’s about that time where we start to falter with our New Year’s Resolutions. Rather than beat yourself up for being a failure of a person, it’s time to be easier on yourself. As a kind of toxic self-help blog, we’re here to make you feel better about being just mediocre in your life and give you some good excuses to abandon your New Year’s Resolutions. Best Excuses to Break Your New Year’s Resolutions that You Weren’t Going To Keep Anyways This picture doesn’t make sense but he looks happy and that’s how you should lookResolution: Complete a Dry January Let’s ..read more

Editor’s Note: Today’s column comes from our guest writer, Laura “The Meme Queen” Mayfield. and is the latest installment in the parody series “Smart People, Stupidly High Salaries.” Check out her previous post, Day in the LIfe of a Tik Tok Life Coach. Anna Tiffouni always knew she was different. Anna explained, “I would always help my friends find things that were lost on the playground, or conduct seances for pets that had passed away. I knew I would never end up working a typical 9-5 job. I mean, I do work as a receptionist, but once my case count goes up, I’m definitely quitting ..read more

Editor’s Note: Today’s column comes from our guest writer, Laura “The Meme Queen” Mayfield. and is the latest installment in the parody series “Smart People, Stupidly High Salaries.” Check out her previous post, How to Never Get Fired. Sonya Sweets has been a TikTok-certified life coach for 19 months. In that time, she has counseled children of heads of state, disgraced former sports mascots, and Victoria Beckham’s eyebrow person. She spent a day with us to take us through her schedule, and share some of her patented goal-setting tips. Set the Bar Low – and then set it lower than th ..read more

In case you’ve been asleep at the wheel, it’s been less than a month of Elon Musk purchasing Twitter and things have been chaotic to say the least. He’s laid off over 50% of the staff, introduced product changes that have led to widespread confusion and panic among advertisers (who constitute 90% of Twitter’s revenue) and lost public trust in Twitter as a reliable news source by tweeting links to conspiracy sites. He needs a 100 Day Action Plan and some executive onboarding and he needs it ASAP. More importantly, to me at least, he’s just been kind of a massive dick to everyone who works for h ..read more

Editor’s Note: Today’s column comes from our guest writer, Laura “The Meme Queen” Mayfield. and is the latest installment in the parody series “Smart People, Stupidly High Salaries.” Check out her previous post, Hot Dog Heiress. You aren’t bad at your job – you’re “disrupting the industry” – how to spin your work failures into work gold. An Ideal Life Rachel wakes up at 8:00am and checks her email. She has gotten several 10s of emails today, but says she is only planning on responding to 1 of them. Rachel is a high-powered specialist in the cardboard box sector. She makes $100,000 a ..read more