Along with the joy, sadness, anger, grief, satisfaction and various other states that make our sense of being lies the often-neglected sense of eroticism. What is it? Simply put, it is the sense of aliveness and vitality, curiosity and interest, push and pull of the engagement in life. Eroticism is pleasure and pain, relief and stress. It is also the cerebral processing – the thoughts, emotions, and fantasies – of sexuality. It is our way of experiencing and understanding aliveness and sensuality in the context of our inner worlds by using the information and experiences we have on hand, in an ..read more

What’s the big deal? Despite being a core tenant of any and all relationships, many struggle with giving and receiving apologies. At its core, an apology is a statement of remorse that acknowledges the harm caused and attempts to restore the respect lost as a result of an offense. This skill is an integral part of relationship building with each other, ourselves, and the community at large. As we age, sometimes we are captivated by the fantasy of always being right; after all, the idea that right equals reward has been ingrained. However, apologies threaten this illusion of control, shaming u ..read more

You’ve been duped. Perhaps your partner strayed from the relationship. Perhaps it was you who strayed. Either way, your romantic life is not progressing as you anticipated, and pulling the plug seems more appealing by the minute. After all, a breakup would help end the pain, heartbreak, and cuts that only seem to get deeper with time. However, it’s possible to heal not only your relationship with your partner but also your relationship with yourself. The Exemplification of Betrayal Consider Anne and Jacob. After 16 years of marriage, Anne learned that Jacob had affairs with more than a dozen ..read more

Love is a wonderful thing. But what if it’s not really that easy? What if you feel affection for multiple people? That’s a tricky predicament to be in. You might be feeling conflicted about which one to pick, especially if one of them is currently your partner. We’ll go over strategies to decide what to do next, but the choice is ultimately up to you.   Process your feelings You must first assess your true feelings for these two persons. If you believe you are in love with someone, you must determine how it is manifesting. Ask yourself honestly: is it love in both cases, or is one of the ..read more

“You are the love of my life.” “I can’t take this anymore.” These are not uncommon statements within one and the same relationship. We may find certain aspects of our partner very difficult to live with, and we may have traits that our partner finds difficult to live with. The term Relational Ambivalence refers to contradictory thoughts and feelings for the same person. Feelings of pleasure and panic, affection and loathing, hatred and desire all felt towards one person create Relational Ambivalence. In the case of family relationships with parents and siblings we may feel a genetic, forever ..read more

Sexting refers to sexual messages over text. They may be implicit or explicit, written or photographs. They may be flirtatious and edgy or direct and sexual/erotic. They are intended as flirty play that may or may not lead to an in-person sexual encounter.   How would you handle it if you found explicit messages on your partner’s phone and realized that they were sexting someone else? Is it okay to sext with someone who isn’t your steady partner?   For some, sexting is clearly cheating; for some, it is acceptable as long as there is no in person encounter. Sometimes boundaries in rel ..read more

Do you expect your relationship to fulfill you in all ways, at all times? Sometimes when we expect too much from our relationships, the pressure can lead to collapse. The demands for perfection in relationship we put on ourselves and our romantic partners can be unrealistic. Once we find “our person,” it feels like we have it made. Finally, we have someone to share and connect with. We’re no longer alone. And yet… After a brief honeymoon period, things slowly change. Suddenly, our perfect partner isn’t so agreeable, affable, perfect, quirky, cute, appealing, Mr.SuperMan or Ms. WonderWoman any ..read more

Are you thinking about how to forgive a cheater person who cheated on you? Recovery after a betrayal can be one of the hardest things a relationship will navigate. A betrayed partner can feel there’s no way to get past the pain. For the long-term recovering, healing, forgiving, and reconnecting after an affair requires taking into account the context. When you add context to betrayal, a whole new and very human story can emerge from the ravages of the crisis. Keep in mind, this doesn’t magically take away the pain, sorrow and anger. Yet, adding the context helps create some understanding and ..read more

People are more susceptible to an emotional affair when something is awry in the primary relationship. Perhaps the marriage has sunk into sedentary monotony whether it be due to compromising intimacy after children, disconnection, a lack of attraction or interest, boredom, and / or a myriad of other considerations. It is likely that a loneliness or a thirst for fulfillment felt, even if initially unrecognized. In the midst of an often-barren emotional landscape comes along an emotionally available, interested other. The contact may begin with harmless conversations, work consultations, venti ..read more

How do we retain social and emotional connectivity while remaining physically distant? It is important to navigate the distinction between emotional and physical connection well during this time of social distancing. Virtual space and virtual means of connection have become instrumental in managing personal and professional needs due to the current COVID-19pandemic crisis. Marriages and relationships that were already experiencing difficulty will have to find a way to ride out the quarantine. Life becomes even more distressful being confined in close quarters, especially for those facing rel ..read more