The more intimate my relationship with God has become, the stronger this unexplainable feeling in my heart grows when I read certain parts of the Bible. Is it warmth, exactly? I don’t really know. But anyway, many of these can be found in the book of Philippians. Here are some of my favorites: “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For this sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not ..read more

Two people at my church passed away this week. One was an elder who still had some years left; as far as I knew, he was healthy the last time I saw him. But apparently the Lord called him home suddenly this past Monday. When I heard the news that day, it really put things into perspective for me. I seemed to be doing relatively okay since then until Thursday. If I remember correctly though, I started to have trouble sleeping since Wednesday night. I guess I didn’t realize until tonight why this was the case. Maybe with everything I’m dealing with right now, and my past traumas, it’s a way to p ..read more

This week I felt utterly defeated — mentally, emotionally, etc. Even my spiritual state had its ups and downs as usual. But you know what? As overwhelming as it was, as desperate as I felt for my prayers to be answered, God came through for me once again. I haven’t felt this dependent on Him in a while. He really showed me that I can only go on with the strength, peace, and grace that only He can provide. This is another time where I truly believe I may not still be here if not for Him. It was that bad. I wish I didn’t feel resentful toward Him, though. Thinking about all the hardships He gave ..read more

Lord, I hear You now. It’s time to restore my intimacy with You again. It’s been so long since I’ve felt close to You. This loneliness and emptiness within me was always beckoning me to draw near to You but I kept pushing it away and pursuing other things instead. I kept putting other things before You but now I think I genuinely have the desire to make You the Lord and master of my life again. Sorry it’s taken me so long. My scars have wounded me to the point where I wanted to focus so much on myself. I felt like I deserved this self-centeredness. But I truly repent. How You continue to love ..read more

John 14:6 (the way to meet God) “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Romans 8:1-2 (freedom from sin and curses) “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” 1 John 3:8 (victory over Satan) “He who does what is sinful is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of Man appeared was to destroy the devil’s works.” Matthew 16:16 “…You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God ..read more

When can I enjoy Christ? In the midst of problems. Remember to confess that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God—whenever I face a problem or feel discouraged or make a mistake.  He is the way to meet God, the freedom from sin and curses, and the victory over Satan.  It’s okay to be deceived because God is always with me no matter what.  I don’t need to focus on my problems or anything that may cause me to fall.  All these experiences that I have now that may seem so overwhelming will be used later as a springboard.  I am God’s witness and my experiences will ..read more

Things have been so different since I moved. It hasn’t even been a whole week yet but I’m not even exaggerating when I say I feel so renewed. The longing to return to where I once was has finally passed and now I can enjoy this in reality. I now realize lots of factors were at play that were hindering me from restoring my intimacy with God but He’s kept on reminding me that a lot of it has to do with my own stubbornness. It’s always getting past that initial plateau that the fruits quickly follow and you remember just why this is so necessary. I have this greater and constant peace within me ..read more

It feels hard to hold onto joy these days. It seems much easier to find things that will make you feel discouraged. I don’t think it’s just me. The hard part of remembering that all the things that happen on this earth are actually part of a spiritual battle that is unseen to our physical eyes, is the seeing part. Like any other imperfect human I have my own fair share of doubts. It’s so much easier to not believe and trust in God that He will make everything turn out for His good. Whenever I face even the slightest inconvenience these days, I just see the worst of me come out. It’s not an ent ..read more

I’m so nervous about how my life could change in the near (or farther) future. All of these things that I’m envisioning require me to get out of comfort zone. I’ve had plenty of nagging and pressuring by others (parental figures, mainly) which has led me to just want to finally just get these things done, because I really can’t stand being told the same thing over and over. Is it just my mindset that’s holding me back? I feel like this has been a significant obstacle in the most challenging stages of my life. I just feel like I can’t do it, or I feel overwhelmed thinking about all the factors ..read more

I’m anticipating what doors God will open for me in this next stage of my life. What exactly do I need to do in order to make sure I don’t delay His plans? I know I keep hearing over and over to just stay in the flow of His Word, but that’s easier said than done, especially when the very human part of me keeps pulling me toward those enticing distractions. Also, I keep thinking a lot about my “depression.” Sometimes it feels as though it’s not even a problem in my life, sometimes it feels like it doesn’t even exist. It’s in those short moments that I hope are growing to be longer in duration ..read more