MAGGIE AND ME
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
Prior to having kids my son and his wife adopted a rescue dog. This was the classic post-wedding, pre-children step, and Maggie initially seemed like the perfect pet. She was a four-year-old mutt, on the larger but not too big size, very mellow and affectionate. Until she went outside. I don’t know if dogs can be schizophrenic, but believe me, if anecdotal reporting is acceptable, they can. Indoors, Maggie was sweet and loving; never chewing, not barking inappropriately. Overall, a real love bug. Outdoors? A holy terror. We discovered this while dog-sitting for ten days. Maggie in the house? H ..read more
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BaBoom
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
I’m so old, I once auditioned for the musical Hair. To be clear, this was for a road company production in Seattle, not the New York version. Still, I knew that once my talent became evident, I would be beckoned East to join the original cast. At nineteen, I had no voice, dance, or drama training. I did have a dream, though, and apparently a very loose hold on reality. Practice consisted of standing on my parent’s fireplace overhang while I practiced the trademark Easy to be Hard, a heartbreaking number about the pain of love. I was well qualified to portray the angst of a broken heart and had ..read more
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A CONCERN FOR FRETTING INSURANCE
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
There are a lot of things to worry about these days, and I promise you, I spend most of my time doing so. In fact, I stew so much about everything going on in the world, that tomorrow you can day a day off from all your most pressing concerns. Hey – take two days. I have it covered. I am the sole proprietor of the world’s number one fretting insurance company. Have you seen my ads on TV? However, I have found a few seconds to obsess about something completely new, and, though I’m not saying this will overtake the really important stuff (so much important stuff), I have to admit this new issue ..read more
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Nana Garb
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
When I was growing up, I had only one grandmother and one grandfather, from different sides of the family, neither of whom I saw on a regular basis. Both lived in different states. My grandfather, my mother’s father, was a colorful ne’er do well, an alcoholic who lived a rather shabby life. There was a brief period after my parent’s divorce when he lived with my mother and myself, but before and after that, I rarely saw him. My father’s mother, ‘Grandmother’, as I always called her, was a very nice woman who had been widowed early, liked two old fashioned every evening, and was very self-conta ..read more
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Bullies
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
Bullies are a part of childhood. They’re, sadly, an integral part of the everyday grownup world. How we learn to deal with the creatures is integral to our life experience. When my kids were little, we lived in a small city that was fairly homogeneous. Very little crime or threatening circumstances for the families who resided there. There were mean kids, yes, and I suppose, my daughter and son had bully moments I never heard about, but it wasn’t a regular thing. Because if I had heard of such circumstances, that bully would have gone down.  I would have called parents or dealt with the c ..read more
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Scent
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
Today as I was sitting next to my daughter on her front porch, masks on, heater in front of us, my granddaughter Adeline ran to her mom and hugged her. She then said, “You smell like Nana.” I of course noted, “That’s must be a wonderful smell.”  When it didn’t get the laugh I’d expected, I had an ‘aha’. Oh, my God. I have a Nana smell. It’s ironic, as, just that morning after showering, I saw my very expensive bottle of perfume in the medicine cabinet that I never use and thought, “I should put some of that on today.” This is because of my new campaign to try to do something special about ..read more
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The Girl I Wished I’d Been
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
When I was thirteen, I wanted to be just like the girls in the popular group. At seventeen, I aspired, with absolutely no justification at all, to be a Broadway star. At thirty, I harbored envy for two sisters who had written a best-selling book on how to keep your house clean. I had a very messy house, and wanted to be more organized, but these two had the system figured out and became rich in the process. By fifty, I began looking back, thinking, “If I’d only taken drama in high school and college, I could have triedacting. Given Streep a run for her money. At the community theatre level, bu ..read more
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Moss and Crows
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
One of the joys of grandparenting is having the time and energy to enjoy children. Naturally, I loved every minute when I was a parent, but, working full time while engaged in day in, day out parenting, several years of which my husband was attending post-graduate school out of town, I was so exhausted that when my kids would do something darling and wonderful it would register, but with more of a “If I wasn’t so tired, I would write this down in that book I started about how fantastic Kid Number One is, wherever I put the thing – and, did I ever start a book about Kid Number Two?” Ah, but, wh ..read more
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Culling Down
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
6M ago
We’ve all gone through so many phases and feelings the past nine months, it’s hard to sort out if it’s time to grieve some more, focus on the positive once again or start over on the hall closet. Part of all of those processes has been a culling down, a prioritization, of what matters. What clothes will we really wear in 2022? Is that red skirt I’ve been saving for a holiday party ever going to fit anyway, particularly with some slight Covid poundage added? That’s hardly worth pondering when the real priorities have become so clear, who we love and the health of those dear ones and our world ..read more
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MAGGIE AND ME
Romney S Humphrey
by Romney Humphrey
2y ago
Prior to having kids my son and his wife adopted a rescue dog. This was the classic post-wedding, pre-children step, and Maggie initially seemed like the perfect pet. She was a four-year-old mutt, on the larger but not too big size, very mellow and affectionate. Until she went outside. I don’t know if dogs can be schizophrenic, but believe me, if anecdotal reporting is acceptable, they can. Indoors, Maggie was sweet and loving; never chewing, not barking inappropriately. Overall, a real love bug. Outdoors? A holy terror. We discovered this while dog-sitting for ten days. Maggie in the house? H ..read more
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