The last month has been spent in Puerto Escondido, the place that feels more like my home than anywhere else. It has been very healing for my mind body and soul to be back. I thought it would be hard on my to be here and not to surf but it really isn’t too bad. I’m finding joy just in going to the beach and seeing friends. Being in nature every day is bringing so much healing into my life.  I’m learning that the injury I sustained in my back is really just a ball of stored up energy from emotional pain I never fully released. My journey back to healing has everything to do with tapping in ..read more

My thoughts were constantly drifting to how I could share my experience with my followers. I was always thinking of what picture to post on my story and how I would caption it. Yes of course, I want my social posts and blogs to bring healing, that’s why I share. But it isn’t healing for me. I wasn’t present. And then as soon as I would post something I would look at how many people commented and then I would get pulled into all their social feeds as well.  I can actually feel the phone and the computer sending rays of harmful energy into me. From here on out I’m limiting my time online dr ..read more

It was Friday morning at 4am. I hailed a taxi heading south down Mex-200. Carrying my phone in one hand, a beach umbrella in the other and a pack on my back. I slipped into the cab. I texted my friend to let her I know to come outside to meet us. Shit, I forgot my phone isn’t getting data service and my friend only has WhatsApp. I had been on the phone with Sprint for hours the previous week trying to connect my phone to local towers but no one could help me. The internet comes and goes in Puerto, part of the flow of life around here. My WIFi connection had also been out. All my efforts to for ..read more

The ego always looks to the future. I’m not talking about ego as a synonym for arrogance. Ego, as in what we identify ourselves with, is always searching for more. Searching, or grasping as the yogi’s call it, is the cause of suffering. And I have suffered greatly. Enlightenment is to transcend the ego. Not to kill it, but to recognize it for what it is and to no longer be ruled by its demands. Everything I have ever done has been a means to an end. Eating or not eating has been a way to become thin. If I am thin then “I” identifies as “thin” and thin becomes a part of who I think I am. But I ..read more

Once again I find myself back in Mexico running from a broken heart. And somehow Mexico makes it all better. Connection drives me. Each time I get into a relationship eventually I feel lonely within the relationship. That is the worst kind of loneliness of all. In Mexico everything is based on relationships. There is no yelp or yellow pages. If you need something you need to know the guy who knows the guy. That means you need to spend time cultivating relationships.  Walking down the street means stopping at least three times to chat with people you know. Sitting on the beach is an open i ..read more

Who am I if I can’t go back to who I was? July 12, 2019 I was feeling so strong. Almost, dare I say, healthy. It felt so good to be able to use my body again. One day I swam laps as fast as I could, the next I rode the bike fast and loved how it felt use my legs. The third day I went back to the pool and swam for joy. Three days in a row of actual strenuous workouts. Each time I felt strong and pain free. I felt alive again! On the fourth day my back started aching so I rested and iced. On the fifth day I boarded a plane bound for Maui. I was really achy standing in line at TSA and at the rent ..read more

The project is ending but the story is far from over.  To be honest, I’m relieved. This was a ton of work. I enjoyed the work of course. But I’m also evolving so quickly I seemed to outgrow it before I finished publishing all the episodes. Let me explain with an analogy.  When I first left for my road trip in mexico I brought with me a single fin longboard and two egg shaped mid length board. If you are not familiar with boards, none of these are built for high performance or critical waves. But the more I surfed the more I progressed and I found I wanted a shortboard for more maneuv ..read more

Present Day Some waves you will never forget. I stood up on a surfboard for the first time as a teenager, when my family took a vacation to California. My brothers and I rented huge foam boards and spent a brutal four hours getting smashed in the whitewash. It was one of the most fun days I’ve ever had surfing. The first time I rode a wave in the unbroken face was during winter break of my first year in graduate school. I didn’t turn, but just went straight. I’ll never forget the feeling. I paddled back out to a few older guys on longboards. I told them that, after that wave, I finally knew th ..read more

Day 613 I sat on the beach, watching a massive swell roll in at Puerto Escondido. It was bigger than I felt comfortable with. At least that is what I thought at first. A few surfers I recognized pulled into barrels so big that a semi truck could fit into them. The longer I watched, the more I wanted to be a part of what was going on in the water. My body became excited, nervous, but the good kind of nervous. After an hour or so, I knew I had to paddle out. Being who I am, who I have always been, and who I likely will always be, I knew I needed someone on the outside to validate my crazy thinki ..read more

Day 485 A few weeks into my stay in Bali, several strokes of good fortune lined up for me. First, I found a location off the beaten path with uncrowded waves–a rarity. Then, I found a surf coach who was very experienced in working with women at my skill level, and who was also very affordable.  And, lastly, the waves were good. Good waves can be so fickle. You can go months without good waves. It can be windy, the swell can be crossed up and bumpy, there could be no swell at all, the water could be dirty from the rain, the crowds could make it impossible to catch a wave, the swell could b ..read more