Yes, here we go again. ?️ Two years ago I fell asleep on the floor and woke up with one operating leg and the other semi-operating. Then, I told my guy to spray paint the walker gold. Because why not? Disability is handled in a myriad of ways. I handle mine best in gold ??‍♀️.  The destruction of myelin and miscommunication of my brain to my spine  put me here. Medicine today is saying “wait for prescriptions or surgeries to catch up to determine if you can ever walk again” ?.  I’ve been learning more into the Bible (old Ashley would never) and wholistic measures. I take too man ..read more

Consistency is steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, and form. My legs have made this disabled journey a pain. They’ve been bruised beyond third-degree and in the a past three years lesions on my spine have caused me to loose my 6’1” stature. Though science has not produced a medicine to get me back on my feet, there is something nagging at me to find consistency. I have great ideas, but much does not get delivered because I am not consistent.  In 2024, I would like to nail down consistency to see where it can take me. With grad school, being a wife, now a mom, working out ..read more

When I was Dx with MS in 2017, I thought that was IT.  Thoughts of feeling less than ✅. Thoughts of suicide ✅. Ready to be done with EVERYTHING ✅. Never did I imagine using a wheelchair.  E V E R‼️ Now I’m here and these are the trials that keep mounting up.  I keep saying “I am TIRED of being one of God’s strongest soldiers❗️” This shit here is NOT for the meek. I’m told “you’re a warrior,” “you stand so strong.”  Damnit I have nothing else to fall on except myself. I don’t want anyone else to go through my hell herr on earth  ☄️ ?. Never in this life have I fought so ..read more

With this disease I use to think I was cursed. Nothing in this life could prepare me for this journey. I’m excited and can’t wait to birth my baby Q. I can not wait to physically SEE him as opposed to feeling him navigate through this time around in my stomach. It My organs have been pushed around enough and am crying for relief. I woke up in March throwing up manically. I knew “something was off!” and immediately told the husband “get a test ?❗️”. My Primary sent me to an OB office, where I concluded, “something is wrong, but I’m not pregnant ?. I can’t be! Eight months later ?. I’m not eati ..read more

A couple of years ago, I posted about Kate Spade’s suicide  in “To the late Kate Spade, I was you.”  Then, suicide was an attempt that would creep up in my mind when battling this disease OFTEN. Being diagnosed at 25 haunted me. I hated that my life was now wrapped around my body, breaking down and unable to repair itself ?. Six years later, I am smashing through every possible resource in hopes that someone, something, can navigate my brain back to my legs. I have lost half of my body. At this point, it’s “by any means necessary” that I will find my way back to walking again. I was ..read more

I have yet, in my six (6) years in the MS space, met the same MS’r with my symptoms. In anger, I dispiss this disease so much and understand the basics as to why a cure can’t not won’t be found. This disease morphs from one body to the next and it is infuriating to pinpoint certain symptoms in order to find a therapy or some damn relief. Takes a deep breathe, comes back. Let me retype, I have never met anyone yet with my same symptoms. I have met women that I found I encourage and encourage me in this tedious journey called our lives. I started out angered, then felt the need for pea ..read more

To be faithful, while battling the crippling symptoms of MS ? ? ? that is determination. By definition faithful is to be: reliable, trusted, or believed, true to one's word, promises, and vows.  I am faithful in my daily life amongst family, friends, and work. When it comes to religion…? I claim Christianity, but God and I have been on separate sides since growing up with an unemotional father and selfish egg donor. Life was hard. Growing up with a these types of people who used God as an excuse for their ways made me hate religion and question,  “WHY AM I HERE?” It was never ea ..read more

In review of my life with this dangerous brain disease, I realize my “work, work mentality” aided me in being in a wheelchair.  RRMS hates stress, hates conflict, where I took and take it on relentlessly. This has bit me in the ass, by causing more lesions in my brain and disconnecting my brain from communicating with my lower body ?‍?. It pains me to not be able to use my legs. To be a hardline victum to this miserable disease. But I now have answers. I now seek to find solutions for how am I to get back to my legs? How am I to be better with what I now know about myself. This journ ..read more

This disease has served nothing but an inconvenience to my life. At first, there were relapses, as I would wear heels or flats and my legs would weaken, causing me to be unable to move. I got on Ocrevus and that has stopped MS’ evil progression. But I am now wheelchair bound. Is this temporary or permanent??? Then there were the symptoms of heat intolerance in the summer, drastic fatigue, iron deficiency, and appetite suppression due to the drugs that treat my everyday symptoms. N O W, enormous blisters which pop tearing my skin several dermis  layers have come to take my peace. &nb ..read more

I could rip at how negagtive my life is with this disease. How painful every morning can be, how every day is with this can and will go up or down instantly ?. But I’m learning it’s sometimes just the little things ?. The support system of the Husband and father, two African-American men assisting me with the upkeep of a now disabled black woman. Henrietta Lacks continuously rings in my mind. What her journey was, the cons of the medical industry, when all you want, need is help. Since my IG and Twitter (I'm a little fish ? ?) shut down I’ve thought of how much I have learned, how many times I ..read more