I get a quote in my email from the Alcoholics Anonymous publication, AA Grapevine. A few days ago the quote was something that I have thought for a long time. It said: “While I wouldn’t recommend that anyone become an alcoholic, I believe that sober alcoholics living the AA way of life have been blessed with a gift. It’s a gift that can’t be bought, that can’t be won in a lottery, that can’t be stolen, forged, or rented.” I’ve been in recovery for over a decade. For most of those years, I’ve been active in Alcoholics Anonymous, had a sponsor, and been working on the 12 Steps. I am so gratefu ..read more

Step ten in Alcoholics Anonymous is the first of the maintenance steps of the program. It says: “We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Steps four through nine allow us to see the truth about our past behavior and how we have treated others. With that new awareness under our belts, we’re able to see what is going on with ourselves with clarity. Step ten aims to show us that we can control our actions and that we’ve learned the coping and life skills that we need to deal with negative emotions in a positive way. The important thing about step ten ..read more

I recently saw a tweet that said this: “I said I was good and didn’t need to go to a meeting. My sponsor said, ‘Really? What about everyone else?’” A big part of going to meetings is meant to help us maintain our own sobriety. But AA works because it is one alcoholic helping another. So, there is another purpose for going to meetings: being there to share your experience, strength, and hope with others to help them maintain their sobriety. I’ve always known that AA works because it’s one alcoholic helping another. But it’s only been in the last several months that it’s really become clear to ..read more

I talked to my sponsor a few weeks ago about a character defect I’m working on. I have a problem with not keeping in touch with friends or family who aren’t nearby. I genuinely have the best intentions, but I just don’t do it very well. And the more time passes, the harder it is for me to reach back out. I know I’m not the only one with this problem because I’ve also been ghosted. I certainly can’t fault anyone for it, though, can I? Anyway, after discussing my issues (there are many), my sponsor asked me to consider what is behind my inability to keep in touch. Inability isn’t the right word ..read more

I recently posted the quote above on my Facebook page. I think the first place I read that was in a longer quote from Russell Brand. His quote says this: It’s so true, isn’t it? Addiction to drugs or alcohol is often a symptom of something much bigger. Something that nearly always has its roots in some sort of trauma. I know it’s that way for many of the people I know who are in recovery and for me. And we aren’t the only ones. Research shows that there is a strong connection between trauma and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many of us turn to drugs or alcohol to help us cope with the emotio ..read more

I was asked to share my story at one of my recovery meetings a couple of months ago. It’s been a while since I stood up in front of a bunch of people and talked about my alcoholism and getting sober, so I was nervous. It was also the first time that my daughter was there watching. There wasn’t anything in my talk that she didn’t know about; she had heard it all in pieces over the years, but it was the first time she would hear it all together and in front of other people. For me, that made it more emotional and far more meaningful. I think it was the same for her. I tell my story at recovery m ..read more

In addiction recovery, complacency breeds old behavior, which can quickly lead to unnecessary problems, including relapse. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains complacency on page 85. It says, “It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” In my early days in recovery, I heard old-timers sharing that our addictions were right outside the door, waiting for u ..read more

Here I am. It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Not because I don’t have anything to say about recovery anymore, but just because life gets busy sometimes. The last couple of years have not let me down in that area, that’s for sure. We’ve settled into life in Alabama, and I am in love with living in a small, southern town. It’s beautiful here, and things move at a slower pace. And we have goats! Can you even imagine? A girl who grew up in a city with over a million people in the metro area now milks a goat every day! There are so many differences between how I used to live and how I do now – b ..read more

Last week, we went to an AA meeting and because there was a newcomer in the room, the topic was the first step. I love first step meetings. They help keep everything fresh for me. Those of us who have been in recovery for a while need to be reminded where we came from and why we don’t want to go back there. It’s also an opportunity for us to offer our experience, strength, and hope to other alcoholics. At the meeting, as we all shared our stories of what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now, one of the themes that kept coming up was honesty and how important it is to a successfu ..read more

Being in recovery for the last ten years has taught me a lot about myself and other recovering addicts. While we’re all unique individuals with different, often dysfunctional, histories, we also have a lot in common. One of the most common similarities that I’ve seen time and time again is our ability to self-sabotage. Addiction itself is a form of self-sabotage. When we’re in our active addictions, we depend on our drug of choice to help us escape dealing with life’s issues, which usually leads to bigger problems and more devastating consequences. Active addiction is self-destructive, isolat ..read more