By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, CSAS For those familiar with my therapeutic approach, you know I advocate for more than just behavioral change in men. I seek the transformation of their hearts. It is about embarking on a journey of profound personal change that requires intensive dedication and endless self-reflection. The results of this venture are life-changing and bring a great deal of personal contentment and joy not only for men but also for the partners they betrayed. However, while men understand the importance of becoming and staying sober, they often struggle when it comes to soften ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, C-CSAS “I know what I am supposed to do, but I never seem to be able to get it right,” said Roy, whose wife is nine months post-D-Day after discovering his involvement with pornography and spending large amounts of money with online video chat. “I try not to get defensive or have an emotional outburst when she is grieving, but I cannot stop myself. Her yelling, crying, and tearing at me leads me to want to run away or explode.” Roy’s struggles echo the sentiments of many individuals grappling with the aftermath of their infidelity. Despite the g ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, C-CSAS Betrayal creates wounds that shatter trust and emotional stability in relationships. Healing takes time and results in many emotionally heavy conversations. This is the hill where most betrayers decide they want to fight back to put an end to the ongoing conflict. This is their biggest mistake.  Betrayers need to stop negatively feeding the conversation by going into in-depth explanations and essentially telling the betrayed spouse, “You’re wrong.” You may not mean to communicate this point, but that is what you are saying. And it is not helpful ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, C-CSAS The definitions of the following two words come from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Notice: to become aware of (something or someone) Objectify: to treat as an object or cause to have objective reality Why have I shared these definitions with you? Too often, those in recovery – both the betrayer and betrayed – get confused when determining whether or not the betrayer is struggling with street lust. Let’s listen to a check-in that occurred between one recovering couple. Wife: So, did you have any struggles today? Husband: Well, I had one struggle when I ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, CSAS It is not uncommon once D-Day occurs for betrayed partners to ask three questions. 1. What kind of relationship did we have that allowed you to hurt me? 2. What were you thinking when you were having sex with other people or watching porn? 3. What were you thinking about me when you were having sex with other people or watching porn? All are legitimate inquiries based on the betrayed partner’s desire to understand the depth of her partner’s commitment to the relationship. She wants to know what kind of relationship they had because it creates a disconnect ..read more

I stumbled across this article on managing stress and felt the need to share it, especially because of its focus on fear. Fear is crippling and is at the heart of many troubling circumstances we face daily. Please take time not only to read the article, but also commit to putting several of these recommendations into practice. Used with permission from StudentReach.Org Anxiety is an epidemic. Some of us have gone unscathed until something traumatic has happened and then we’ve felt the effect of high anxiety. We’re going to get into some ways to overcome anxiety.  Understand Your Anxi ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, C-CSAS If you are a follower of my work, you know I believe the road to recovery from addiction goes through our childhood. I developed this conclusion based on three factors that face many who struggle with sex and porn addiction. Unresolved childhood pain points that still haunt them today An inability to sit and process emotional discomfort Being emotional undeveloped Harold’s Story Harold had a childhood many would consider normal. His parents did not divorce. His siblings did not pick on him. And he got along with most peers during his school years. Howe ..read more

I was honored to be invited to appear on Dr. Jake Porter’s Betrayal Radio podcast. I believe we had a fantastic conversation that covered a range of subjects including how being emotionally undeveloped can lead to destructive consequences for relationships. Hope you take the time to check it out. https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmxvZ3RhbGtyYWRpby5jb20vYmV0cmF5YWxyZWNvdmVyeXJhZGlvL3BvZGNhc3Q/episode/NDI5YjkzYzgtMjMyNS00NjZjLTg5NjctMTNjZWMxZjQyZTg3?sa=X&ved=0CAUQkfYCahgKEwjw6M-Q__H6AhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQnAU&hl=en ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, C-CSAS Her world has been rocked. She thought her marriage was stable until it crashed in seconds as she discovered the secret life her husband had been living for years. A life filled with infidelity, lying, deceit, gaslighting, etc. This scenario occurs daily worldwide, where thousands of women are dragged into the world of betrayal trauma. For these women, now comes the one-to-three-year process of individual and group counseling, reading endless books and articles, viewing online videos, and participating in chat forums, all in an attempt to return life to ..read more

By Eddie Capparucci, Ph.D., LPC, C-CSAS When I first meet a man struggling with porn addiction, he often uses the following introduction: “Hi, I am Ted Smith, and I am a porn addict.” First adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous, addiction groups universally utilize the fill-in-the-blank addict label. I hate it. There are two reasons for my disgust with this name tag. The first concerns the stigma it places on an individual. Like a black mark, a stigma can crush self-esteem, causing shame and embarrassment. It also can hinder someone from seeking treatment. The second reason is the label Porn Addict ..read more