At last! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy put the reign of the balding smoothie himself under the unforgiving Ramble microscope. Well, one of us is perhaps a little less critical than the rest. A Sven-egg-in-a-nest haircut is the prize for guessing who that is… They discuss the reception of England’s first foreign manager, Sven’s unprecedented charm offensive to win the public’s hearts, and what was really England’s undoing in an era that promised so much. There’s Sven fleeing a property with some clothes missing as well, of course. Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballram ..read more

Marcus, Vish, Jim and Andy discuss another memorable weekend in international football as Mr Luxembourg bags another brace. There’s love for James Maddison and Bukayo Saka as England pick up another win – but Vish wants to clarify that he’s a better bloke than Bukayo. Plus, ding dong Conte’s gone! The whole sorry affair leaves us wondering whether the days of ‘firefighter’ managers are over as the ‘project’ coaches take over. Speaking of which, there’s a Phil Neville update. The title bid isn’t going well… Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up for ..read more

The keys are in the lock, the gate is open, but oh yes we’re here with a weekend Ramble! Marcus and Andy react to news that one of Spurs’ targets has replaced, erm, another of Spurs’ targets at Bayern Munich. And it was a terrible day in more ways than one for poor old Julian Nagelsmann… We recap an even worse day for Karim Benzema as Kylian Mbappé and co run wild against the Dutch, while Marcus makes his feelings known about Antoine Griezmann’s pink hair and Virgil van Dijk proves that he’s got guts of steel after withstanding a dodgy chicken curry. Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us her ..read more

Are England rusty? Are England confident? Is it rusty confidence? Marcus, Jim, Pete and Luke react to a splendid night in Naples for Harry Kane! And definitely a splendid one for Kalvin Phillips, who was just happy to be involved. Elsewhere, a sensational list of puns from a listener (it’s been a while), Roy Hodgson gets his talons on the perch at Crystal Palace, and we get to the bottom of Jonjo Shelvey’s friction with John Legend. Plus, we have an existential crisis: if Soccer AM are gone, where does that leave us? Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com ..read more

The Euros qualifiers are back! And ahead of tonight’s Euro 2020 re-run, Dotun, Andy and David talk all things Azzurri and explore why Roberto Mancini is bemoaning a lack of Italian players after a season of brilliant success in Europe for Serie A clubs.  Elsewhere, we bid farewell to Mesut Özil, who tellingly didn’t bid farewell to Germany in his retirement announcement. And David and Andy ask: is El Clásico dead?! Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up for our Patreon for exclusive live events, ad-free Rambles, full video episodes and loads m ..read more

Andy heads to one of Europe’s most intimidating stadiums: the Estádio do Dragão. It’s a huge Champions League night and Porto have the chance to make it two Portuguese teams in the quarter-finals for the first time ever.  Unsurprisingly, the atmosphere lived up to the occasion. Andy finds out how Sérgio Conceição has quietly (well, no, pretty loudly in his case actually) become one of Europe’s most impressive coaches and witnesses one of the most dramatic ends to a game you’ll ever hear! Plus, unexpected trivia about André Villas Boas’ grandmother. Where should Andy head to next? Tweet ..read more

“Sacked in the morning? Don’t think so.” Ian Holloway has so many famous one-liners that there are two entire books just of his quotes. But there’s more to him than those soundbites. Kate sits down with the former Crystal Palace, QPR and Blackpool manager to discuss how he’s brought up three deaf children, how that’s informed his management in incredible ways, and his view of the chaotic relegation scrap this season! Who would you like Kate to speak to next? Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up for our Patreon for exclusive live events, ad-free ..read more

Carnival season is here! That’s right, it’s Ronaldinho’s birthday… Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete relive the roller coaster career of the Brazilian star so dazzlingly skilful he seemed like he walked straight out of a Nike advert. And most of the time, he’d probably actually walked straight out of a nightclub.  At long last, this is the unmissable Ramble Guide To… Ronaldinho! Let us know what you thought of today’s episode on Twitter @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com. Sign up for our Patreon for exclusive live events, ad-free Rambles, full video episodes and ..read more

“Don’t back down, double down”. Aleksandar Mitrović appears to have been following the advice of Limmy this weekend. Was the incident even that bad? Chris Sutton thinks it was, so we probably have to disagree. Today Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete relive a weekend in which football seemed to malfunction and the end result was glorious chaos. Vish questions whether an Arsenal-supporting AI bot has taken over Antonio Conte and we hoot with delight at the thought of Roy Hodgson returning to his Selhurst Park nest. We're also concerned for Fizzer now that the Kim Kardashian curse could be coming to Mi ..read more

Patrick Vieira’s out! On St Patrick’s Day of all days. Marcus, Andy and Luke ask whether David Moyes has ever been sacked on St David’s Day and (of course) make the case for Roy Hodgson’s return. Elsewhere, there’s news that Arsenal man Nuno Tavares has accidentally signed a petition to get rid of one of his own teammates and unconfirmed news that Charlie Kane has made the same mistake on a new Spurs contract for his brother. Plus, biznezz time in the FA Cup and a new England squad! Looks a lot like the old one, mind… Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com ..read more