Keep the illusion up, let them see purpose. I know you're just there existing. As long as you're breathing, keep that heart beating It don't matter if the muscles on your face won't stretch right It don't matter that your smile is not the same anymore Keep at it, don't give up. Struggle a bit longer You're not dead yet. They see you breathing. They can feel your heart beat. Cold as it is. They can feel your heat, you're not dead. Keep at it just a little bit longer Maybe there's a silver lining just around the corner In this round existence, there's a silver lining just around the corner ..read more

Wish I was a normal boy A bit passive and aggressive Oblivious to my demons Pants to the brim of my hip Extenuating my position and demeanor of power   To be pit and bull, claim my territory without a fight I can’t speak this language I peep that inner cut shit but still fumble it it’s a language I can’t speak but a rhythmic flow I can decipher  To walk it and speak it, how do I be I wish was a normal boy, umjita is the lingo But I’m a spectrum torn from all kinds of threads Too potent, walls built with guardrail thorns  From every moment I’ve had to hide my sublime From every m ..read more

 i'm only losing friends because nobody wants to understand nobody wants to give me the space and time i need also its really hard to feel at place when nobody is being honest with you meanwhile all you've done is be honest in hopes that they would understand and allow you to put yourself back together again ..read more

 Walk a little slower, there's no rush. You ain't got anywhere to be, slow down. You know there isn't anyone waiting on you, You'll be dancing by yourself anyway, like always. But atleast you won't have to pretend anymore, You can finally let go and lose yourself. The four hours of sleep you'll get are enough to collect the pieces. Just enough to keep a smile on your face. The dark circles are almost invisible when you smile, Who cares if it won't reach your eyes, no one really notices anyway. So take the long way home, keep reality at bay. Just a little longer, fool the world a little lo ..read more

 Childhood hostage   Let me introduce you to my trauma Oh wait there he goes again holding my tongue Oh yeah I mumble when his around Trying to speak some sense into him LISTEN, I AM NOT WORTHLESS I am not!!… There he goes again holding my tongue it’s just so hard to be broken and put together all at the same time The fortunate ones are standing at my door Those who have been blessed with the gift normativity Have never known an ounce of hate, rejection and neglect Shit!... shit forgive me for my profanity by now you know I’m no saint But they are here trying to speak kindness Get a ..read more

 There's little to no words to describe you. To describe the strength you carry without boasting , To describe the power you possess without pride. Always with humbling humility you serve without asking. You are the embodiment of phenomenal and grace. Your selflessness is without bounds, it sometimes drives me mad, And yet it is your most beautiful quality and it humbles me still. The smile you wear on your face through tribulation and truimph is flawless, True in every essence of the word and it shines through without fault. The grandness of your heart fills me with tears of joyful pride ..read more

Truth is you're always on my mind. I haven't gotten over you, not even close. I still stretch out my arm reaching for you at night. I wake up with the taste of your name on my lips. At the most random times I feel the ghost of your touch on my hips. I smile and turn my head, but you aren't there anymore, You're just a memory, a dream turned into a nightmare A neverending nightmare filled with laughter and joy. You haunt me with your absence and taunt me with your presence. So close, yet ever so far out of reach. My reach. Seeing you happy tears me apart and brings me joy, It's all I ever wante ..read more

I am one of those ever smiling people, never sad and never angry. I float and drift through the sun's hours with happiness on my face. I wave, laugh and tell a dozen jokes to blind witnesses who see but don't really see. I move from crowd to crowd, wondering and searching for one who'll actually look. But no one seems to notice, no one seems to care So only these hands of mine can explain the tears I shed. When the sun recedes to rest and prepare for the morrow. I too rest my smile and brick by brick tear down my walls. I put away the memories I carry to stretch my face and hide my pain. I sh ..read more

Would you stay with me even if... Even if we weren't even, I mean Would you love me even when I no longer say it? When my fears consume me and I run When I lose myself to insecurities not cured When my will falters and I seek escape Could you really handle my inconsistency Coz I won't lie to you, I'm an emotional pendulum Never the same long enough to enjoy I'll twist your thoughts and turn your heart I'll test your patience to the extreme, and then some I'll beg to be the center of your universe To be the sun to your solar system and yet I'll treat you like Pluto, unsure of what you are Yet r ..read more

Poetry is an intimate conversation with a stranger. It is stretching out your hand, into the darkness and not knowing how many people will grabe hold. Disclaimer: property of Fanelesibonge Nicholus Sibisi, Do not duplicate in any form without consent from the author ..read more